Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of at this?

69 replies

LongDistanceLove · 30/08/2015 16:29

There was a long queue for the bus, on a Sunday there's only one an hour.

The bus turned up and I waited my turn to get on, an older man held up the queue and said 'you're a lady get on the bus' I said no you first because he had a cane and was there first. Again he said 'you're a lady you need to get on first' I said no no after you.

He then said 'if you don't get on the bus ill grab you by the throat and drag you on' I am fuming, I did get on the bus at that point and didn't say anything as i was speechless and i didn't want to hold up the queue.

AIBU to be sat here fuming? Angry

OP posts:
Goshthatsspicy · 30/08/2015 16:33

No need for fuming. You just encountered a bit of grumpy man.
A man in lidl kept saying (when we bumped past a couple of times) "No, after you young lady" l'm 43! He was doing it purely to show off to his teenage son.

Goshthatsspicy · 30/08/2015 16:34

But, obviously his language (in your case) must have been startling!

Original poster
LongDistanceLove · 30/08/2015 16:40

It's not even the 'lady' bollocks that's pissed me off.

It's the jovial 'I'll grab you by the throat and drag you on' that's really pissed me off.

Why can't I be one of these people who can summon up a response instantly, instead of over thinking it.

Ho hum.

OP posts:
alsmutko · 30/08/2015 16:45

... And then he complained 'young folk nowadays always barging their elders aside'?
No?
What a grumpy old git. An patronising too.
He'd have got a 'oh for fucks sake' off me whilst I stomped on to the bus.

lorelei9 · 30/08/2015 16:46

Oh I'd be well pissed off! I don't blame you.

Not sure what the appropriate response is, other than a dirty look.

there is so much wrong when someone thinks that's a "joke".

alsmutko · 30/08/2015 16:47

Bet he later moaned to anyone who would listen that he'd met a real 'women's libber' who scorned his gentlemanly behaviour

LottieDoubtie · 30/08/2015 16:48

He'd have got an 'excuse me?' from me.

How outstandingly rude of him! There is nothing chivalrous about his actions if he followed up with threats!

NellysKnickers · 30/08/2015 16:51

Why not just say thanks and get on the bus Hmm apologies but I just don't get what the problem was, he was trying to be nice........or am I missing something?

PeppaWellington · 30/08/2015 16:51

Well I think my instant response would have been an urge to grab him by the bollocks and chuck him in the road.

I wonder how jovial he would find that.

I would be annoyed. I appreciate he was being polite (as he would have seen it) but pretending to threaten violence is creepy and undid all his earlier courtesy.

Because I am somewhat of a stubborn mule I think I would have said 'you certainly won't' and not have budged till the horrid man got on the bus first.

YANBU to be fuming. Are you likely to bump into him again?

NellysKnickers · 30/08/2015 16:52

I mean before it got to the 'dragging by throat" stage

Osolea · 30/08/2015 17:03

Fuming is an over reaction. He was being polite to you, you should have just got on the bus the first time he offered instead of arguing over who went first. He may well have felt you were being patronising towards him insisting that he should go first because he had a cane.

His response was completely inappropriate, but it's really not something that needs to make you fume. Forget about it.

Bearsinmotion · 30/08/2015 17:09

Reminds me of a man I saw in the doctors waiting room. Was there with DD (3) who was playing with the toys they provide. He smiled at her, she smiled back, then he said, "Watch out, I'm coming to get you and beat you up!".

She didn't understand and just carried on playing. He obviously meant it as a joke rather than a threat but I was HmmConfusedAngry!

Thought it was better to ignore him rather than make a scene, but really, why say that?!

lorelei9 · 30/08/2015 17:09

alsmutko "Bet he later moaned to anyone who would listen that he'd met a real 'women's libber' who scorned his gentlemanly behaviour"

exactly!!

Birdsgottafly · 30/08/2015 17:12

I get on buses with my Mums Wheelchair, my GD pram and on occasion, my elderly relative, it's easier if the quicker and the more able bodied get on first, so it's annoying when I say for them to go and they stand arguing.

I just give the benefit of the doubt, to what they say, my Mum will gyro say things that she thinks is funny, but is incredibly rude (in her confused way).

whattodohatethis · 30/08/2015 17:33

He was trying to be polite. What does it matter who got on first

His joke was a bit inappropriate but fuming is an overreaction

YouTheCat · 30/08/2015 17:36

Bloody hell! Talk about an over reaction.

Why not just get on the bus with a 'thankyou'? How hard is it to just be polite?

dontrunwithscissors · 30/08/2015 17:43

Hmm Confused

WTF? It's the OP who is in the wrong? She politely declined & he threatened violence. Saying she should have got on the bus in the first place is utterly irrelevant.

mellowheart · 30/08/2015 17:47

Everything would have been fine until the grabbing you by the throat bit. Strange choice of words.

ConfusedInBath · 30/08/2015 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 30/08/2015 17:52

You should just have got on the first or second time he asked and said thank you. It was patronising of you to refuse because he has a cane.

Purely for saying "sat", YABU.

YouTheCat · 30/08/2015 17:53

None of that would have been said (and yes, totally bizarre and odd thing to say from the old man), if the OP had just got on the bus in the first place.

Who has time to have standing arguments in queues for the bus?

diddl · 30/08/2015 17:54

"Why not just get on the bus with a 'thankyou'? How hard is it to just be polite?"

Why the fuck should she get on first just because he said so?

And why couldn't he be polite & just get on the bus when she declined??

VerityWaves · 30/08/2015 17:55

Why didn't you just get on the bus ?

BathshebaDarkstone · 30/08/2015 17:57

YANBU for being shocked at his threat. YABU for not just getting on the bus.

Armi · 30/08/2015 17:58

I don't get how it even got to the throat-grabbing bit. He suggested OP went first, she suggested he did. He declined and indicated she should get on....and then in a standard encounter between two reasonable people, OP would have said,'Thanks' and got on the bus.

In my view, OP was most impolite. And held up the queue.

Swipe left for the next trending thread