To be pissed of at this?

[LongDistanceLove]

There was a long queue for the bus, on a Sunday there's only one an hour.

The bus turned up and I waited my turn to get on, an older man held up the queue and said 'you're a lady get on the bus' I said no you first because he had a cane and was there first. Again he said 'you're a lady you need to get on first' I said no no after you.

He then said 'if you don't get on the bus ill grab you by the throat and drag you on' I am fuming, I did get on the bus at that point and didn't say anything as i was speechless and i didn't want to hold up the queue.

AIBU to be sat here fuming?

My choice of phrase is usually 'after you'.

Admittedly, I don't qualify that with 'because you're old' or 'because you're a lady'. It is irrelevant anyway as the old man was expecting the OP to queue jump. I'd imagine if that fact had been in the OP, my response might have been different.

So I wonder what the others in the queue thought to it all?

"I'll grab you by the throat and drag you on"

What a cock. Yanbu.

YABU - Just get on the bus, who knows, you might get the last seat and then who's laughing? Then you could offer it to him as he's looking a bit unsteady, but would you?

So you think it's ok for the OP to push in front of other people? Or did you miss that bit?

@dontrun

As it was she 'held up the queue' by being a knob. I assume everyone fitted on the bus and that no-one was left standing in the rain, cursing the sweet old man and his pushy harpy. If we all just pushed our way on willy-nilly then there would be no holdups, provided everyone had the correct change. I'd have let the old man on first as he'd probably have a bus pass, quick flash and you're away. TK Maxx here I come!

I'm guessing/hoping he said it jokingly? If so yabu. He was trying to be polite and friendly.

Ok two glasses of wine down, I heard Metallica playing last night (ok so the bass I live in Reading)

I'm watching the set now on BBC catch up.

Im a knob, next time someone threatens to drag me by the throat I will just comply because it's rude not to.

I just need to do whatever anyone tells me to do because that's the polite thing to do.

@puffin i didn't say held up the queue. I said pushed in front of other people. There were people in the queue between the man and the OP.

@dontrun

well that's a fucking outrage then. I stand corrected.

@puffin when I said 'or did you miss that bit?' up thread, I wasn't meaning to sound sarky. OP clarified that bit of information somewhere in the last page or two.

@dontrun

gotcha, sorry about misunderstanding.

FWIW, I avoid all interaction with others on the street by wearing headphones constantly. I'm not listening to anything, but in my job I see such a massive number of weirdos that I'd rather not talk to anyone unnecessarily. And that's a very sad state of affairs.

at some of these responses?

Did you all miss the bit where he threatened to grab her by the throat?

And people are seriously saying 'why didn't you just get on the bus?'

WTF!

I must be a rare breed but I think chivalry is nicest when it comes from a genuinely good place. Im more than happy for a nice person to hold a door open/let me go first if they should wish (and do the same for others), but I'd bloody well object to being threatened into compliance. How is that hard to understand?

Well said lottie!

If this were a young man or a teenager, I am highly confident everyone would have been on here saying how disgusted they were and that you should have called the police because of this threatening behaviour, and it was threatening behaviour.
But because he is an elderly man, people are seemingly making excuses for him and almost blaming you, sorry to any pps I may upset saying that but it's how I feel. Oh and the reason op did not get on the bus first I assume is because she wanted to show her respect. It's called mannered
This was not grumpiness it is abuse. Twist it around the other way, had you said the same to him. I guarantee there would be a long conversation between you and the law possible charges and conviction for threatening an elderly citizen but as the boot is on the other foot, that seems to make it okay.
YOu're more than entitled to be pissed of. I would be steaming

Trying to be nice Nelly. I think when you need to iook up the word nice, because threatening to grab someone by the throat does not match the word nice or trying to be.
If that is your perception of nice. I'd hate to see your perception of abusive

Iliveinalighthouse I rarely agree with you but this time I do completely

" He may well have felt you were being patronising towards him insisting that he should go first because he had a cane."
Maybe the op felt he was being patronising to her. Does that not count ?

I can't believe the op has been threatened with violence and is now being told she should have just complied.

Read my post again Livingonalighthouse I said BEFORE he mentioned grabbing her round the throat, my perception of nice and nasty is fine thanks? stranger on the Internet