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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Its fine to bring my children up gluten free

582 replies

Ironfistfunkymum · 28/08/2015 17:37

I've been gf for 6+ years, not alergic or anything but feel so much better for it. People seem generally fine with this.

However now I have children people do seem to judge bringing them up gf. But why would if feed them something that I dont think is very healthy (grains hard to digest) and something that I don't think is very ethical (wheat production is causing more deserts due to its growing conditions).

Aibu to expect people to respect my choice and leave it at that?

OP posts:
bakingdiva · 29/08/2015 19:13

Just as aside on the allergies. I am allergic to fresh fruit, but only if I physically touch it or eat it (it makes my throat swell up and hands itch)......confirmed by the allergy consultant. If food contains the fruit I can push it to the side and not eat it, and it doesn't have any effects.....doesn't negate the allergy thought as if I ate it, I would be affected.

Sirzy · 29/08/2015 19:24

baking what happens if the fruit has touched the other food are you ok with that?

(Not for a second belittling your allergy just intrigued)

HippyChickMama · 29/08/2015 22:02

Gluten is in lots of processed crap, but stuff you make at home if its fresh then its easily avoidable
Really, op? Because it has taken me literally years to get to grips with how much stuff contains gluten. I cook pretty much everything from scratch and just some of the things I either cant use or have to buy special versions of are
Stock cubes
Baking powder
Gravy granules
Spice mixes
Soy sauce
Worcester sauce
Mustard
Mustard powder
Malt vinegar
Oats
Flour
Breadcrumbs
Cous cous

There are more too. I buy 3 different types of bloody expensive flour, two lots of butter so that our crumbs don't contaminate dh's butter, I cant use any ready made sauces, soups or pastry unless it's specifically gluten free. I don't think it's that easy at all!

IAmNotAWitch · 29/08/2015 22:11

BakeOff

We were all fat (or getting fat) on a 'normal healthy' diet. I was also on my way to Type 2.

Low carb is probably incorrect. We don't eat much in the way of grains or sugar at home. All of our carbs come from fruit and veg. High fat means that I don't avoid butter and natural oils and leave fat on meat etc.

Not fat anymore. DH and I look like different people (and no more high cholesterol/insulin resistance for me) and the kids are both trimming down as they get taller.

We don't eat very much processed food at all at home because of all the hidden sugars. It's easy, and we all look and feel great now. Made the change about 18 months ago.

Best of all world's IMO.

Theycallmemellowjello · 29/08/2015 22:16

Tbh I think you're setting your kids up for an eating disorder by suggesting that some normal foods are just bad, without anything to back this up. Especially as they're likely to discover at some point that cake and buscuits are really delicious and be drawn to them but feel conflicted. I'd continue to make ethical food choices at home (hope you're also keeping meat/salad/imported food to a minimum) but not make a big deal about things being banned.

Ironfistfunkymum · 29/08/2015 22:26

Really, op? Because it has taken me literally years to get to grips with how much stuff contains gluten. I cook pretty much everything from scratch and just some of the things I either cant use or have to buy special versions of are
Stock cubes
Baking powder
Gravy granules
Spice mixes
Soy sauce
Worcester sauce
Mustard
Mustard powder
Malt vinegar
Oats
Flour
Breadcrumbs
Cous cous

I always make my own stock, freeze it in ice cube trays. So much better.

Ditto for gravy.

None of my spices or herbs contain gluten as I buy high quality brands.

Nore does the two types of mustad I have.

God no I don't have soy sauce! Its the poor mans tamari, son I have that.

Obviously flour, bread crumbs and cous cous do!

I think if you can afford high quality brands (probably cheaper than special gf versions!) Then they don't have cheap padders with gluten.

OP posts:
Ironfistfunkymum · 29/08/2015 22:32

Tbh I think you're setting your kids up for an eating disorder by suggesting that some normal foods are just bad, without anything to back this up. Especially as they're likely to discover at some point that cake and buscuits are really delicious and be drawn to them but feel conflicted.

I think that's very overeactive. I don't say they are bad, we just don't have them.

That's not to say I just feed dull food everyday. I made my lemon cheasecake for dinner tonight, everyone says its the best cheesecake they've ever had - visitors say this.

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 29/08/2015 22:52

Is this actually a stealth boast thread OP? Hmm

You would do well to listen to those suggesting you're setting your kids up for issues with food btw.

Reubs15 · 29/08/2015 23:08

Definitely sounds like a stealth boast! Ohh look what I can afford so I can avoid gluten unlike the peasants!

Op, why won't you accept that 98% of people think you are unreasonable? (And probably a bit of a knob). Why post here if you only want to hear that yanbu?

LyndaNotLinda · 29/08/2015 23:09

Of course it's restrictive. And ignorant. YABU

sleeponeday · 29/08/2015 23:22

OP, have you ever heard of Orthorexia at all?

manicinsomniac · 30/08/2015 00:19

You should be careful.

I have given myself a wheat intolerance because I have made myself so frightened of bread, pasta, cakes, biscuits etc. If I need to eat them out of politeness or just because I really want to I now get an upset stomach. I never had this as a child, it's entirely self inflicted.

However, I do think a lot of the replies are unfair. We all make health and moral choices about how we feed our children and, especially as you have specifically stated that you aren't evangelical about it, I can't see a problem with your decision at all. I'd far rather see slightly over cautious, 'too' health conscious parenting that can of coke and mars bar for breakfast parenting.

A scout volunteer here. Our general rule is we cater for genuine problems (recently had a child who has an anaphylactic reaction to wheat) or vegetarianism (or, I guess, vegan, although that would be a challenge for a week) but we do not cater for whims or preferences.

This is unfair, imo. What, apart from time and familiarity, make vegetarianism/veganism any less of a whim or preference than the OP avoiding gluten (or wheat?) She stated in her OP that her reasons were both health and ethics related - the exact same reasons that people become a vegetarian. So, if her gf diet is a whim, so is being vege.

I also don't think it's right to say that people making choices o avoid foods or food groups are selfish because of allergy sufferers. It is certainly the case that people who work in food or with children should make very sure that they are catering appropriately for an allergic child - but someone who in intolerant to, prefers not to eat, has a moral, religious or health objection to or even just plain doesn't like any food shouldn't have to adapt their lifestyle because some people are allergic to the food they have chosen not to eat. Claiming to be allergic when not is wrong but explaining that you don't eat something for whatever reason is fine. I hate nuts except macadamia nuts which I really like. It's weird and I suppose in theory it could cause confusion but I'm not going to stop avoiding them in case my hatred of them makes somebody think that nut allergies aren't serious. If there was such a thing as a meat allergy would we ask vegetarians to stop being faddy and ridiculous because it was causing problems for people who get seriously ill from meat? I doubt it!

MidniteScribbler · 30/08/2015 04:07

OP, your proctologist called. He found your head.

zoemaguire · 30/08/2015 06:46

'God no I don't have soy sauce! Its the poor mans tamari'.

Wow, I've seen some pretentious snobbery on here, but that really takes the (glutn-free) biscuit. Just listen to yourself!

JemimaMuddledUp · 30/08/2015 07:18

I do think YABU.

DS2 is lactose intolerant, and it is a complete pain TBH. He is 11 now and so getting to the age where he goes out with his mates and buys food without me. Except he can't have chocolate from the corner shop, ice cream at the cinema, cheeseburgers in McDonalds, sandwiches with butter in, milkshakes, hot chocolate... He is the poor child left reading the ingredients list while his friends just pick the stuff they want. He had school dinners at primary as it was a small village school where the cook made him something dairy free every day, but he will be taking sandwiches now when he starts secondary as the choices in the canteen are quite hard to navigate and I think he will just end up eating a jacket potato with beans (no butter) every day.

Parties and playdates were a nightmare when he was younger, especially where the parents though he was just "fussy" or didn't understand how many things weren't dairy free and gave him pasta with pesto not realising it had cheese in it, or sandwiches with Flora margarine as that was made from sunflower oil and so would be OK Hmm They didn't have to deal with the 24 hours of bloating, stomach cramps and diarrhoea that eating them caused.

I can't imagine why you would want to inflict this on your child without a medical reason.

FWIW, both DS1 and DD also eat Vitalite at home as that is the margarine that I buy for DS2 and I don't bother buying two different types. When I cook meals they are always dairy free as it is just easier and more inclusive than making something separate for DS2. But they have cow's milk on their cereal and cheese in their sandwiches and obviously outside the home they have a completely unrestricted diet. I wouldn't expect them to eat dairy free all the time just because one member of their family has to.

bungmean · 30/08/2015 07:37

Do you keep your Tamari next to your basket of artisanal slippers?

Ironfistfunkymum · 30/08/2015 07:43

Yes I've heard of that. I'm assuming its that new word invented to claim people that eat a clean diet have a medical condition...

Yes I don't feed traditional bread, cake or pasta. That must be a medical condition. I'm wasting away as my non gluey buckwheat pasta isn't clogging up our insides.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 30/08/2015 07:51

Op what did you want from this thread?

Ironfistfunkymum · 30/08/2015 07:54

Some experience of the attitudes I will encounter.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 30/08/2015 07:55

Ok well hopefully this has been helpful.

waitaminutenow · 30/08/2015 08:07

When your DC stay at GM's why don't you provide the gf pasta for her to cook????

ilovesooty · 30/08/2015 08:07

I think the pretentiousness of the OP is hilarious considering her inability to spell quinoa in such a way that it was even comprehensible to readers.

Ironfistfunkymum · 30/08/2015 08:08

It really has thanks everyone.

I’ve talked about how grains in general are a poor choice for your health, but gluten containing grains like wheat, barley and rye require special attention because they can be particularly damaging to your health. All grains, including other non-gluten containing grains like oats and corn, are bad because they contain gut irritating lectins and mineral binding phytates, but you’ll learn here why gluten-containing grains and wheat especially can not only cause the same problems as other grains, but also cause much more trouble down the road.
Three main constituents are of interest here: gluten, WGA (wheat germ agglutinin) and opioid peptides found in wheat. Gluten is a compound protein that composes about 80% of the protein found in wheat, barley and rye, and WGA is a lectin found in wheat that can be particularly damaging. Opioid peptides are psychoactive chemicals and those found in wheat are similar to those found in other well known psychoactive drugs like opium or morphine.
Beware of glutenContrary to what is believed by many, wheat is not to be avoided only by those who suffer Celiac disease, the autoimmune disease caused by a reaction of the immune system against gliadin, a gluten protein. Those with Celiac disease only react more strongly to wheat and gluten than those without the disease, but most people have a reaction in some way or another to wheat consumption, often in insidious ways.
Here are 11 reasons why consuming wheat or any of the gluten containing grains can be very detrimental to one’s health:
11 reasons why gluten and wheat should be avoided
Gluten
Gluten causes gut inflammation in at least 80% of the population and another 30% of the population develops antibodies against gluten proteins in the gut. Furthermore, 99% of the population has the genetic potential to develop antibodies against gluten. Antibodies acting in the gut can actually be good news, because when the body doesn’t react against gluten right away, gluten proteins can enter the blood stream more easily, especially if the gut is already leaky, and trigger immune reaction elsewhere in the body.
Since gliadin, the main problem-causing gluten protein, can be similar in structure to other proteins found in tissues of organs such as the thyroid or the pancreas, antibodies against gliadin can end up attacking those organs and ultimately cause autoimmune diseases like hypothyroidism and type 1 diabetes.
Gluten’s inflammatory effect in the gut causes intestinal cells to die prematurely and causes oxidation of those cells. This effect creates a leaky gut and a leaky gut can allow bacterial proteins and other toxic compounds to get in the blood stream, which can also lead to autoimmune attacks on the body. A leaky gut also means that food has not digested properly and nutrients are not absorbed fully, which can lead to nutrient deficiencies.
Antibodies against gluten have also been shown to attack heart tissues and cause heart disease.
Gluten has been strongly associated with cancer. It is potentially cancer causing, and at the very least, cancer promoting.
WGA (wheat germ agglutinin)
WGA, like gluten, irritates and causes premature cell death in the gut and leads to a leaky gut condition, with all the detrimental effects that are known to follow.
WGA also disrupts the mucus membrane in the gut, which can cause bacterial overgrowth and lead to a host of digestive issues like GERD and ulcers.
The lectin also often ends up circulating in the body and in the brain, where it can cause leptin resistance and cause effects similar to insulin. Those two factors could be a cause or promoter of obesity as leptin and insulin are the two most important hormones to properly regulate in order to maintain a normal weight and energy balance.
WGA and another unknown factor in wheat cause vitamin D stores to deplete abnormally fast and can therefore lead to vitamin D deficiency, with all its accompanying issues like weakening of the bones, a weakened immune system and a vulnerability to infectious diseases and bacterial attacks.
Opioid peptides
The opioid peptides found in wheat are known to cause addiction to wheat in some people and withdrawal symptoms can happen upon the removal of wheat from the diet.
They have also been associated with Schizophrenia as a possible cause or at least as a promoter of the disease. Furthermore, Schizophrenics often see their symptoms reduce by a lot when removing wheat from their diet.
Avoid wheat
Conclusion
When it comes to things that we, humans, are not adapted to eat and digest, wheat and its gluten protein are probably at the top of the list. It’s very sad that wheat is so omnipresent in our society though and many health conditions would probably not even exist if it were not for our high consumption of wheat. Positive changes are often noticed immediately after removing wheat and other gluten containing grains from the diet.
Even though most people can indulge in less healthy choices from time to time without negative consequences, wheat and other gluten containing grains should, in my opinion and the opinion of many others in Paleo blogosphere, be completely avoided, especially for those who suffer any kind of autoimmune disease or inflammatory condition.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 30/08/2015 08:08

And no, I would normally consider swiping at spelling to be poor form but I consider this an exception.

Iamnotloobrushphobic · 30/08/2015 08:08

My DS is severely allergic to wheat, a tiny amount could kill him. For that reason I am super careful about avoiding giving him wheat (or any of the other things he is allergic to). A GF diet is pretty easy to manage at home and I would imagine it is even easier when everyone in the house is GF. However, eating out is a PITA, school lunches are impossible and eating at other people's houses means that I usually have to take along a meal for DS. I wouldn't enforce being gf onto a child who has no medical reason to be gf but as their parent it is your choice.
You say that your children have felt unwell when they have eaten pasta (I'm assuming you mean normal gluten based pasta). I would expect anybody who never eats gluten to feel strange when they do eat gluten and for the body to have trouble processing it but I think that is more to do with the body not being used it and not knowing how to process it rather than it being an actual medical issue. If you introduced gluten slowly over a period of time the body would adjust and cope with it as long as there is no actual medical allergy / intolerance.

When they become teenagers and want to go out for a pizza with their mates how will you feel about that? What about when they are students and want to go out and drink a few beers with their mates? At some point they will be old enough to make their own choices.

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