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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it unreasonable not to give a 9 year old breakfast?

143 replies

Towelsandcats · 28/08/2015 13:59

Just as it says above really - otherwise fairly healthy diet but breakfast causes rushing in the morning.

OP posts:
Pobspits · 29/08/2015 00:41

Strange thread - were your brothers up earlier then?

Ds is 8 and always wakes early and has porridge, a banana, yogurt and sometimes grapes or tomatoes. He is starving every morning and breakfast has always been when he's hungriest even though generally he isn't that interested in food.

Dd is nearly 5, LOVES food but isn't keen on breakfast first thing. She usually does have something but it can be a battle and she seems to only want plain things like rice crispier, pancake with nothing on, bread and butter.

If you were historically not keen on breakfast, wanted to sleep, didn't complain and Ate well other times Im not sure I'd be too bothered. I mean it wouldn't be ideal but I'm not sure it's neglectful.

MaitlandGirl · 29/08/2015 00:54

My girls have to get the school bus at 7.30 so they go loaded with cereal bars and juice boxes to eat on the bus/when they get to school. I couldn't let them go without breakfast even through they're older than the OPs.

mikado1 · 29/08/2015 11:51

Will pm you GobShites

GlitzAndGigglesx · 29/08/2015 12:45

MrsTerry a later breakfast, but of course that's not possible during school hours. I was an early riser anyway so was ready for something small to eat on the way to school

dementedma · 29/08/2015 12:51

Some sympathy with OP as dc 3 has refused anything from breakfast since he was younger than 9. And yes, we have offered everything under the sun! He is now 13, doing fine and nearly 6 feet tall. Children can go a few hours without food. Now he is hungrier and will grab a pain au chocolat or some such to eat on the way, but it doesn't seem to have affected him any.

DisappointedOne · 29/08/2015 12:58

DD(4) stokes her boiler in the evenings - she's really not bothered with breakfast and only really picks at lunch. Excluding pregnancy I've never done breakfast. The thought of food for the first 2 hours of consciousness makes me feel sick. Her school is a bit obsessed with feeding them - they start at 9am, get toast at 10am and lunch at 11:45am - none of this is of any interest to DD. Then they get fruit in the afternoon at 2pm - she eats that and is usually hungry when I pick her up at 3:15!

I offer her breakfast every day and sometimes she'll have a tiny bit. I don't stress. She eats loads in the evening.

fairbalance · 29/08/2015 13:00

Milk or yoghurt drink, smoothie etc plus fruit and cereal bar to have on way to school or at break if she will not eat breakfast. I hated breakfast but was hungry by break.

fairbalance · 29/08/2015 13:02

I also loved an egg mayo sandwich at break. Even at 49 my stomach wakes up several hours after the rest of me. I still dislike breakfast!

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 29/08/2015 13:12

What a bizarre thread! I'm wondering what the point is?

Yes it's neglectful. My parents didn't do breakfast for me either (was a right struggle trying to get myself to eat breakfast with ds to start with!), they were both still in bed by the time I had to leave for school every morning. They were crap, but I've never sat and considered how they never got me up/got me breakfast Confused

hibbleddible · 29/08/2015 13:17

It is bad parenting I agree. I don't know whether on its own it would qualify as neglect (which to me would be based on a more global picture) but it is neglectful behaviour.

Lots of the schools around here have free breakfast clubs as so many children were coming into school hungry.

noeffingidea · 29/08/2015 14:38

It's unreasonable not to offer a 9 year old breakfast, or not to encourage them to eat it.
It obviously is unreasonable to attempt to force feed them it, which is what it would have taken for 2 out of my 3 children to eat breakfast. A preference which was clearly established by the time they were 9.
It makes me laugh when people come out with blanket statements like 'breakfast is the most important meal of the day'.
No it isn't for all of us. To me it's a light snack after being up for a few hours.
However , those children who turn up hungry in the morning clearly do need it, and their parents should make more of an effort to make sure they eat at least a light breakfast.

BathshebaDarkstone · 29/08/2015 14:42

Yes. We do anything that can be eaten cold, microwaved or shoved in the toaster. Smile

FindoGask · 29/08/2015 14:43

Relieved to see some posts here from people in similar situations to me - my five year old always has breakfast but often my eight year old just isn't hungry and my anxiety about neglecting her basic needs, sending her to school on an empty stomach etc, fuels a pointless battle - since I obviously wouldn't force her to eat. She does have a snack at morning break and thanks to this thread I think I'll be able to chill out about it now.

BathshebaDarkstone · 29/08/2015 14:51

DS1 has cf and quite often doesn't feel like breakfast in the morning. When he was still a child I used to make him Build Up instead, sometimes he wouldn't drink all of that either, but at least I was trying. Smile

BathshebaDarkstone · 29/08/2015 16:55

Having rtft, I still think that it's neglectful. They should have made you breakfast, then it would have been up to you whether you ate it or not. Smile

Orangeanddemons · 29/08/2015 17:12

My 9 year old dd refuses breakfast in the mornings. She's a real night owl, always has been, won't go to sleep at night, and difficult to wake in the mornings. I just don't think her stomach wakes up properly until about 10:00 am.

I run round offering her everything, she'll sometimes have a bite or so, and then leave it. I always send her to school with a cereal bar or similar.

RogerAndVal · 29/08/2015 17:45

Well, I think this is interesting, and can totally see the point of his thread. It's true, when everybody thinks that OP is the parent she is being vvu.
As soon as it emerges she was the child, oh! It was the seventies, it was normal, you didn't want breakfast anyway. .!
Something of a double standard. Fwiw, I never really got made breakfast from about 7 either. My mum never got up to see me off to school. I sorted my own cornflakes or toast. This was tbe 80 s. I don't think it's abusive, but neglectful?
Yes, a bit. Or careless anyway.

YeOldeTrout · 29/08/2015 17:47

DS who refused breakfast, sure he liked the nurture breakfast club sometimes, they had white bread (not often at home) & butter. But sometimes he refused that, too. Then he got lots of attention by refusing. Much better to drop the battle.

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