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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it unreasonable not to give a 9 year old breakfast?

143 replies

Towelsandcats · 28/08/2015 13:59

Just as it says above really - otherwise fairly healthy diet but breakfast causes rushing in the morning.

OP posts:
MuttsNutts · 28/08/2015 15:15

Well I can't speak for others but I never said or thought "terrible", just lazy.

You seem determined to be thought of as neglected and them as terrible. Any particular reason?

WhirlyTwos · 28/08/2015 15:15

"Yes, she prefers a lie in. I leave at the same time in the morning as she does (early!) and it's so rushed getting it sorted" YABU

"She can get something to take with her if she wants" YABU

"She always has a drink" YABU

"She's an overachiever in all areas." YABU

"Her dad gets her up." YABU

"Well, the 9 yo was me"

WhirlyTwos · 28/08/2015 15:16

Gah! Biscuit fail...

OddSocksHighHeels · 28/08/2015 15:19

It's just that you're talking about at least a decade ago, probably more. A lot of things have changed in that time so it's a little harder to judge. Plus nobody can go back and change it and you presumably haven't come to any long term harm?

I used to be left alone overnight from very young and I was in sole charge of a toddler for long periods from about 7 years old including cooking her dinner. That's not great and nobody would defend it but I don't think it used to be so unusual back when I was a child. Same with the breakfast thing IMO.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 28/08/2015 15:20

Havent we had this thread before and it went the same way?

Original poster
Towelsandcats · 28/08/2015 15:23

No, not at all.

Do you sometimes wonder stuff?

Or do you walk through the days never thinking about anything? Confused

Purple, if we did, it wasn't posted by me Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Towelsandcats · 28/08/2015 15:23

And you always repeat threads Hmm

OP posts:
TheUnwillingNarcheska · 28/08/2015 15:29

Looking back at my own childhood, today my parents would be done for neglect.

I was a latch key kid in year 4 with a sister in year 2. Got ourselves out of bed, washed, dressed, breakfast, made my own packed lunch as my Mother was too lazy to do it herself and took ourselves off to school, oh not before bringing the milk in off the doorstep Wink

Horrifying looking back. And sad too Sad

OP you had lazy parents who probably didn't want a fight with you. They should have put you to bed earlier and got you up earlier and made sure you had something to eat.

Dancergirl · 28/08/2015 15:30

Is it unreasonable to give a child chocolate digestive biscuits for breakfast??

Original poster
Towelsandcats · 28/08/2015 15:32

Never :)

OP posts:
Spartans · 28/08/2015 15:33

A child shouldn't be going to school without breakfast.

It's not right, imo.

However there are plenty of things my parents did or didn't do, that I disagree with now I am a parent myself. But I am an adult, happy responsible so don't think about it. These things didn't bother me at the time either.

That's why I think it's strange you are worrying about this now

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/08/2015 15:33

Interesting.

I've seen it was you.

I didn't eat breakfast from the age of probably 11 onwards; I also preferred a lie in, was a late night owl rather than a morning person. Like Justone, eating early in the morning made me feel physically ill, my stomach didn't seem to wake up until 10ish. I still don't eat breakfast on a regular basis.

At 7 I would say your parents were neglectful, but they probably couldn't be bothered with the daily grind of "get UP, come ON, you're going to be LATE!" - and perhaps they thought that you were intelligent enough to realise that you should be eating breakfast, so left you to it (not necessarily right on that, btw).

But how do you feel? Do you feel that it was neglectful, did you suffer from a lack of breakfast?

Original poster
Towelsandcats · 28/08/2015 15:35

I'm wondering not worrying

OP posts:
Original poster
Towelsandcats · 28/08/2015 15:36

But to be honest I do feel a bit exasperated with them I pretty much had to bring myself up as they couldn't be bothered. But then they would shout when I broke a rule I didn't know existed!

(I'm answering that because I was asked; I am not harbouring deep hidden resentment)

OP posts:
Spartans · 28/08/2015 15:38

But what good comes of it if everyone tells you they were neglectful in this one area?

Fairenuff · 28/08/2015 15:40

I don't think it's neglectful if you said you didn't want any breakfast. Unless you had an eating disorder it would ok for you to choose aged 9 whether you wanted a lie in or breakfast.

If they didn't give you the choice or allow you to eat when you were hungry then that would be neglectful.

Original poster
Towelsandcats · 28/08/2015 15:42

I was wondering Spartans.

Thinking.

Musing.

Contemplating.

OP posts:
Katedotness1963 · 28/08/2015 15:43

I think it's unreasonable if the 9 year old wants breakfast. I've always hated food first thing, ever since I was probably that age, if not younger. If you're not feeding you child because you just can't be arsed, I would say that's neglectful. I will out myself as a huge hypocrite though, as I nag my teenagers to eat something before school even though I refused at that age and they're probably old enough to make their own minds up about it.

Floggingmolly · 28/08/2015 15:47

Everything, from getting dressed to cleaning your teeth will "cause rushing" in the morning if you haven't allowed enough time Confused
Decide how much time you need to get everything done and work backwards. Letting breakfast be the thing that's dropped is not in for a 9 year old.

Spartans · 28/08/2015 15:50

So it's not just based on the lack of breakfast?

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/08/2015 15:51

TheHouse yogurt is one of the things I try; she refuses smoothies, toast, porridge, things she loves normally.

The only things she will eat are pancakes (homemade blueberry and I freeze small batches but they go soggy), eggy bread (with ketchup so sugar in the morning!) and fruit. Then I worry that she is eating because she wants those things rather than because she's hungry.

Being a parent is hard.

Towel people will get pissed with reverse threads because it looks like lying. However, you are allowed to have whatever feelings you have about your childhood. If those feelings become unhealthy, maybe talk to a counselor.

laffymeal · 28/08/2015 15:55

Never got breakfast until I left home at the age of nineteen, took great delight in making myself French toast and waffles cause it was such a marvellous novelty. My mum was really lazy and considered breakfast a pointless waste of time and food. It's made me overboard with my dcs Blush

Middleoftheroad · 28/08/2015 15:57

Is this a joke post deigned to make us bite? Excuse the pun.....
How long can it take to pour cereal into a bowl? Lay out the bowl and spoon next to cereal box the night before if it'that tight. My 9 year olds can do tgeir own cereal/toast if need be. It takes 5 mins to eat.

RJnomaaaaaargh · 28/08/2015 15:58

Interesting.

It's still neglectful. Just because it was little bit of neglect does not stop it bring neglect. Being a parent is hard and tiring sometimes but you have to step up.

Were they older parents by any chance? A bit flummoxed by how to suddenly accommodate and deal with a child when perhaps they had quite set routines of their own? Just expected you to fit into those?

Thelushinthepub · 28/08/2015 16:01

I don't think it was that unusual. I was born in the late 70s and I recall my mum trying to get something nutrious into us week after week then giving up and allowing rife crispies
I gave up breakfast but I can't remember what age- later than 9 I think. Times were quite different then and no one spoke about food for concentration etc.