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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send a bill for the gas/elec/water/etc in return?

570 replies

Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 10:25

We live in a popular holiday area and had some friends staying with us for a couple of weeks. They went home on Sunday.

They've always been really good friends, and we've always got on really well, their kids are the same age as ours and get on well too. We've been on holiday with them before and it was fine, although this is the first time they've stayed with us for more than a weekend

Anyway, one evening they'd been out and they rang to see if we needed anything from the shop on their way home. I asked them to grab some milk and a loaf of bread.

When they came in I was given the receipt - for about £2.50. I didn't have any cash in the house so apologised and said I'd sort it out the next day. Then, I'll be honest, completely forgot about it. Nothing more was said until they left on Sunday when they reminded them I owed them the £2.50. I had about 70p in cash in the house so apologised and gave them that.

I got a text this morning to remind me that I still owe the remainder and giving their bank details so I could do a bank transfer.

I've transferred the money as I can't be arsed hearing any more about it, but I think they've got a thunderingly massive bloody cheek.

They've pretty much got a free holiday out of us. They've stayed in our house for free, used water, gas, electricity. They ate breakfast here every morning, we fed them about 50% of evening meals, they used the washing machine and tumble drier, they've had tea, coffee, cold drinks, snacks, etc, etc, so I'm somewhat miffed that they've quibbled about £2.50 and feel like sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of B&B.

We didn't actually invite them, they wanted to come here and asked if they could stay with us. We nearly always have people staying in the summer holidays, we don't mind in the slightest, we enjoy having guests and are happy to look after them, but I now feel like a mug

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 26/08/2015 15:07

When we stayed with friends we were in their local every night and I dont think they paid for a single drink while we were there, apart from the first round they insisted on getting as it was my birthday.

I cant believe they didnt even get a single round in for you!

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 26/08/2015 15:11

Unbelievable cheek! We've had a couple of instances of piss - taking guests, but yours take the biscuit! Dying to see how they try to explain themselves!

Hairballs · 26/08/2015 15:11

OP, you are more polite and calm than I would have been. How fucking ruuuuuuude of them!

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 15:17

Out of curiosity I've been looking at prices for accommodation round here.

The first week they stayed we had a huge local event (which they wanted to come for) and next years prices are £2750 for a 3 bed house for the week!!!

Fuck me, I'm renting my house out next year!

OP posts:
LongHardStare · 26/08/2015 15:18

YellowTulips
One way the frields could respond -

"I am so sorry, we truly didn't mean to upset you.

We have become so used to going through every receipt, accounting for every penny spent, that we sometimes forget that other people don't do this.

That is no excuse at all for not showing our gratitude properly for the fantastic holiday we had staying with you. To be honest, we wouldn't have been able to afford a hotel-type holiday this year, but your generosity in welcoming us into your home, should never have crossed over into being a financial expense to you. Thinking about it now, the food, heating, electricity and everything else of course cost you and it was extremely rude of us not to have considered this. I've transferred £x hundred into your account now and please forgive us for not offering to do so before.

I really hope you can forgive us our awful faux pas and that we can share your company for a meal or a drink soon (our treat!)

Flowers chosen by the kids winging their way to you now - we hope you like them x"

I hope they are composing a similar response right now. I think some people actually are crap with the social etiquette of money and sharing and need it spelling out to them. If they do struggle with it, that might be why they usually pay their own and don't get into rounds at the bar and taking it in turns to pay or stuff. Of course they could just be tight arseholes.

My ex-in laws used to ring up to work out why their accounts for the phone bill or whatever were x pence out and they weren't tight at all. They had got into the habit of obsessively making sure their expenditures added up and were accounted for to the penny and didn't realise that it was eccentric.

Gruntfuttock · 26/08/2015 15:19

"The first week they stayed we had a huge local event (which they wanted to come for) and next years prices are £2750 for a 3 bed house for the week!!!"

You should tell them that OP and point out that you provided food and drink too.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 26/08/2015 15:19

That's what I meant by mates rates - other people are renting out their houses for ?2750 for a week - so take 50% off that if they're planning on staying again and charge them that! They'll be quick enough to stop complaining about 2.50 then!!!

Delighted you sent the text to them. Can't wait to see what they have the nerve to reply with. Please keep us posted on this.

YellowTulips · 26/08/2015 15:23

I guess my thinking is that anyone with such poor social etiquette wouldn't be able to articulate a response that would favourable Grin.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 26/08/2015 15:27

Comedy gold. Obv only warching from sideways.

ArendelleQueen · 26/08/2015 15:27

I'm genuinely shocked at the sheer fucking cheek of some people. How do they walk around like that?!

Your text was perfectly worded. You are very generous, so when can I stay? Grin

Iwasbornin1993 · 26/08/2015 15:30

I had a couple of friends who were like this but while I was at uni so they were living on student loans. Though obviously the fact that I was too was clearly lost on them. I'd never expect people to be like this usually Shock. If we stay with friends or relatives then the least we do is contribute to groceries, pay for a meal out/takeaway and bring a thank you gift with us!

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 26/08/2015 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandomSocks · 26/08/2015 15:35

some people actually are crap with the social etiquette of money and sharing and need it spelling out to them

Even so, wanting to be reimbursed £2.50 for milk is odd.

whatlifestylechoice · 26/08/2015 15:41

I can't wait for the reply!

WorktoLive · 26/08/2015 15:43

Tinkle Don’t know if you were serious about renting your house out next year, but it would prevent your guests from imposing themselves upon you again if they were especially thick skinned. You could go on holiday elsewhere with the money.

I am probably more careful than most about money, but even I wouldn’t dream of asking for £2.50 back for groceries in the circumstances. We have friends in a couple of holiday places that we have stayed in and we have always taken them out for an all expenses paid meal, bought wine, groceries etc and mucked in with household chores and cooking when staying. Because that’s what people do.?

Gruntfuttock · 26/08/2015 15:46

OP, sned them a link to this thread. Then they can be in no doubt about the wrongosity of their behaviour.

Kreeshsheesh · 26/08/2015 15:46

How very odd! We have friends who stay with us and vice versa in a very similar set up to you, op. We wouldn't dream of being reimbursed for milk / bread and neither would they! Plus we/they always bring wine to the others' house. We usually go halfies on lunches out but we provide breakfasts and dinners as do they. They're really lovely friends! I can't wait to see the reply you receive - I hope it's grovelling!

Gruntfuttock · 26/08/2015 15:46

No! don't 'sned' them a link, that's going too far. Send them a link

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 26/08/2015 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOutOfPractice · 26/08/2015 15:52
Sidge · 26/08/2015 15:55

Mermaid I've got friends like that too - I love them dearly but was surprised the first time they came for dinner and arrived empty handed.

DP and I wouldn't dream of going to a dinner party without a bottle (or two) of wine, maybe some flowers and after-dinner mints.

If staying somewhere for a weekend or longer it's only polite to buy dinner out or a takeaway for your hosts as well as bringing some bread, milk, bacon, cookies for the children etc.

I can't wait to see how the OPs "friends" reply but TBH they've probably got skin thicker than a whale omelette and will be baffled as to what they've done wrong...

tiggytape · 26/08/2015 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaMary · 26/08/2015 16:00

OP, I actually laughed out loud, when reading your OP, I got to the bit about the bank transfer.

This really is beyond belief.

Well done you for pointing out that what they have done is unacceptable. To be honest, you sound like a nicer person than me - the weekends where they contributed nothing would have got my goat.

ChickenTikkaMassala · 26/08/2015 16:04

You've handled it far better than I would have done OP, they sound like cheeky fuckers.

RandomMess · 26/08/2015 16:07

I am just Shock staying with anyone for 2 weeks is a huge ask IMHO let alone not contributing to the cost of being hosted!!!!

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