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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to send a bill for the gas/elec/water/etc in return?

570 replies

Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 10:25

We live in a popular holiday area and had some friends staying with us for a couple of weeks. They went home on Sunday.

They've always been really good friends, and we've always got on really well, their kids are the same age as ours and get on well too. We've been on holiday with them before and it was fine, although this is the first time they've stayed with us for more than a weekend

Anyway, one evening they'd been out and they rang to see if we needed anything from the shop on their way home. I asked them to grab some milk and a loaf of bread.

When they came in I was given the receipt - for about £2.50. I didn't have any cash in the house so apologised and said I'd sort it out the next day. Then, I'll be honest, completely forgot about it. Nothing more was said until they left on Sunday when they reminded them I owed them the £2.50. I had about 70p in cash in the house so apologised and gave them that.

I got a text this morning to remind me that I still owe the remainder and giving their bank details so I could do a bank transfer.

I've transferred the money as I can't be arsed hearing any more about it, but I think they've got a thunderingly massive bloody cheek.

They've pretty much got a free holiday out of us. They've stayed in our house for free, used water, gas, electricity. They ate breakfast here every morning, we fed them about 50% of evening meals, they used the washing machine and tumble drier, they've had tea, coffee, cold drinks, snacks, etc, etc, so I'm somewhat miffed that they've quibbled about £2.50 and feel like sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of B&B.

We didn't actually invite them, they wanted to come here and asked if they could stay with us. We nearly always have people staying in the summer holidays, we don't mind in the slightest, we enjoy having guests and are happy to look after them, but I now feel like a mug

OP posts:
queenofthishouse · 26/08/2015 14:34

Oooooh a twatty friend thread!

Gruntfuttock · 26/08/2015 14:35

fuzzywuzzy "We're going to go stay with IL's for a couple of nights and I am already thinking of thank you gits etc"

I think saying "Thank you gits" won't go down too well with your ILs.

Sorry to pick up on a typo Blush, but it was a funny one. Grin

LongHardStare · 26/08/2015 14:36

I think that is a really good text. The problem with being arsey about it or just cutting them off is they are your friends, presumably you like them and enjoy spending time with them. Much better to honestly say you are hurt and let them know how they've messed up. If no-one ever directly tells them, they could go on being oblivious at how inappropriate chasing you for this small amount was. They now have a chance to apologise, make amends and the friendship to survive. Alternatively they don't take that opportunity and you can let the friendship go without feeling you didn't give them a chance.

Reubs15 · 26/08/2015 14:36

Just seen you text them. I hope they're ashamed of themselves!

queenofthishouse · 26/08/2015 14:39

Indeed grunt Grin

Gruntfuttock · 26/08/2015 14:40

I think you should put Minty's text on Facebook for mutual friends to see and also make it clear that these people invited themselves to stay with you!
It's so appalling that they really need to be made to understand how bad it is.

Heathcliff27 · 26/08/2015 14:41

So glad you sent the text. Sheer bloody cheek of them.

VeganCow · 26/08/2015 14:41

OP what did you mean when you said they didnt even stand a round in the pub? Are you saying you paid for all their drinks too, or that you each paid your own?

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 26/08/2015 14:44

That amount of money between good friends is nothing, its give and take a few quid here and there either way, "I'll get these, you get the next one" etc. Another one here shocked at the cheek!

missnevermind · 26/08/2015 14:44

If I pop round a friends for lunch with the kids I take a bottle of milk a loaf of bread and something like a bag of bananas or snack cakes.
It's just what you do !

givemushypeasachance · 26/08/2015 14:46

Are they completely socially oblivious or do they just have a very weird view on things to do with money. Bizarre. Hope you get a decent response showing they've thought again and might take on board how rude they were.

Ihateigglepiggle · 26/08/2015 14:48

Well done for calling them on it. Really hope they think about their actions and send you a big apology.

CoraPirbright · 26/08/2015 14:49

Just to put this into context, we had friends staying recently. They arrived with wine, flowers and chocolates, pitched in with help making dinner etc, bought drinks in the pub and then, when I had run out of a few things, took themselves off to the supermarket and bought what must have amounted to £30 or so worth of stuff. They wouldn't have dreamt of asking for a refund!! How long were they staying? Two nights!! These "friends" of yours are utter bastards! Well done for calling them on it but sadly I doubt the friendship will survive (well, I say sadly but frankly you are better off without such appalling freeloaders!)

yoshipoppet · 26/08/2015 14:50

I have a little poem which you could write out on a pretty card for your cheeky friends. It's not very good but it's the best I can manage.

I'm cross that you chased me
For one pound and eighty pee
You would not pay for milk and bread *
So now I'm going to cut you dead.

  • should have been 'anything' but I couldn't think of a rhyme for that.
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 26/08/2015 14:52

Grabs popcorn and waits to hear the reply...

JeffsanArsehole · 26/08/2015 14:53

I'd bet money you will get a response like this

"Sorry, I thought you wanted to pay back the money. And I also thought you wanted our company for two weeks. I'm hurt that you begrudge us staying with you"

Passive aggressive, denial, projection, blaming you for not being generous enough. Etc etc

These fuckers get away with shit.

Really unlikely unless they have 'ishoos' that they don't know they're cheeky cunts. And the only response cheeky cunts know is to blame others for their behaviour and to go on the defensive.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 26/08/2015 14:54

Cool poem!

BitchBags · 26/08/2015 14:54

Wow what cheeky feckers!

PurpleWithRed · 26/08/2015 14:55

Can you still do that thing I'd never heard of and highlight the OP's reply?

Ewock · 26/08/2015 14:56

Wow that is beyond cheeky. My family were lucky enough to be offered a friends house for a week in a very popular holiday destination last summer. We were extremely grateful, we made sure the house was spotless when we left. Then when we got home we sent them a gift hamper from Harrods. I wouldn't normally give such an expensive gift but as they let my whole family (5 adults and 1 baby) stay for free, we felt it was the least we could do, as paying for the equivalent would have been around 1500-2k.
Very, very rude and cheeky friends to 1) ask for such a silly amount back and 2) not even at least give you a bottle of wine for thanks! Also in the past I have stayed with friends in a different country for 2 weeks, it was my pleasure to take them out for a couple if meals and treat their son as well. Some people shock the life out if me!

SheHasAWildHeart · 26/08/2015 14:59

Wonder if they then went to the bank and asked to withdraw £2.50?

maxxytoe · 26/08/2015 14:59

I've only ever heard of people doing this on mumsnet

Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 15:01

OP what did you mean when you said they didnt even stand a round in the pub? Are you saying you paid for all their drinks too, or that you each paid your own?

Oh, no, they paid for their own drinks. Sorry, that sounded like we'd paid for all their drinks too. They bought theirs, we bought ours.

No reply yet. iMessage says it been delivered, but I don't know if that means it's been read

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 26/08/2015 15:05

Grunt I noticed my typo after I hit post and couldn't stop laughing. For what it's worth my IL's are really sweet.

slanleat · 26/08/2015 15:06

Astounding (marks place!).

My mum and her sisters each pay the other back for what I think of as silly amounts - like 2.50 - but this beats even anything they do.