to send a bill for the gas/elec/water/etc in return?

[Tinklewinkle]

We live in a popular holiday area and had some friends staying with us for a couple of weeks. They went home on Sunday.

They've always been really good friends, and we've always got on really well, their kids are the same age as ours and get on well too. We've been on holiday with them before and it was fine, although this is the first time they've stayed with us for more than a weekend

Anyway, one evening they'd been out and they rang to see if we needed anything from the shop on their way home. I asked them to grab some milk and a loaf of bread.

When they came in I was given the receipt - for about £2.50. I didn't have any cash in the house so apologised and said I'd sort it out the next day. Then, I'll be honest, completely forgot about it. Nothing more was said until they left on Sunday when they reminded them I owed them the £2.50. I had about 70p in cash in the house so apologised and gave them that.

I got a text this morning to remind me that I still owe the remainder and giving their bank details so I could do a bank transfer.

I've transferred the money as I can't be arsed hearing any more about it, but I think they've got a thunderingly massive bloody cheek.

They've pretty much got a free holiday out of us. They've stayed in our house for free, used water, gas, electricity. They ate breakfast here every morning, we fed them about 50% of evening meals, they used the washing machine and tumble drier, they've had tea, coffee, cold drinks, snacks, etc, etc, so I'm somewhat miffed that they've quibbled about £2.50 and feel like sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of B&B.

We didn't actually invite them, they wanted to come here and asked if they could stay with us. We nearly always have people staying in the summer holidays, we don't mind in the slightest, we enjoy having guests and are happy to look after them, but I now feel like a mug

[CalmYourselfTubbs]

i wouldn't get involved in any more correspondence with these freeloaders.
i wouldn't lower myself.
that would be it for me - no more contact whatsoever.
'friendship' over.

[DinosaursRoar]

OP - let it go. Don't text them, don't e-mail them, it won't change them, but it might make you seem like the difficult one.

Just cut them out. If they ask if they can visit again, just say no, although at that point, I'd say why.

[gabsdot45]

Do people like this really exist. I'm shocked. Recently we spent the weekend with my SIL and her husband. We had sort of invited ourselves although we're always welcome there.
I had wanted to bring some groceries with me but didn't get a chance to go shopping so I left £30 when we left. My family ate a lot of their food and used extra hot water etc.
I would have been mortified to not pay our way a bit.

I think you really need to say something, otherwise they'll just want to come back and it might be difficult for you to say no.

[ThomasRichard]

I like Mintyy's text.

[YellowTulips]

You can off course ignore them and take the moral high ground - but then I've always been a bit partial to this quote "the moral high ground - a great place to put your artillery"

[Tinklewinkle]

I think your mistake was saying you'd give them the money back later.

Yes, I agree. When they handed me the receipt I should have just said thanks, but it all got a bit awkward so I just did that polite thing of saying I'd pay them back later, but never really expecting to hear any more about it.

We never stay with them. We moved away a few years ago, but my parents still live there so we usually stay with my parents (we have a dog, my mum has a spare room, so it's a million times easier) and then just meet up for a takeaway (which we go halves for) or something.

We wouldn't expect gifts or anything really, most people who come and stay bring something with them, but I'm really not fussed if they don't.

The more I think about it, the more annoyed I am.

[WinterSnowfall]

How cheeky!

I would write to them and say you have paid the total amount of £2.50 into their bank account and as you respect their views on everyone paying for what is used, you have enclosed a bill for their stay and would be grateful if they could settle in full within 14 days although they are welcome to contact you for a payment plan if necessary. Then set out a full list of everything, right down to labour for loading/unloading the dishwasher, wear and tear on the cutlery, conversation etc. If they come back and say they stayed with you as friends and didn't expect to pay, you should reply and say you are my friends because that is not how friends treat each other!

[mrspremise]

YY to Mintyy, but don't text it; put it on their ShitBook instead as a cautionary for all their other potential victims 'friends'

[Lj8893]

I'm still really shocked that there are people like this. Although I had a similar thread a year ago regarding my sil living with us rent free (she had all food provided too) for a couple of months and then when we were skint and she bought a large food shop (of which she was eating too!) she then expected to be paid back the entire bill, even though she had eaten a 3rd of the food!!!

Me and my mum frequently stay at my auntys in London for a weekend etc. whilst there we always take her out for at least one meal, or buy ingredients for a meal and take her to see a show.

[WinterSnowfall]

*you are not friends because

[letsgotothebeach]

I cant believe they asked for the money, but also that you transfered the money - why?!

[Myfoofneedspruning]

That's shocking !!!

[DextersMistress]

So your really good friends, who you get on great with, asked to to do a bank transfer of £1.80? Really?

Something is amiss here. No reasonable sane person would do this.

Phone her up and straight up ask wtf she was thinking.

[SheHasAWildHeart]

I would drop them a message just saying that unfortunately you won't be able to host them again because you can't afford the expense and wait for them to figure it out.

[Mermaidhair]

Op, yabvu. They paid for YOUR bread and milk out of the goodness of their heart. I am amazed at the cheek of you to come on here whinging about having to pay them back. The poor buggers have now paid something towards their holiday when they obviously couldn't afford it. If I were them I would have charged you interest for every day you were late.

[WipsGlitter]

I agree with PP to send them a message along the lines of
I have sent you on your money but to be honest given we let you stay here for free, provided breakfast, fed you on XXXX nights and paid in the pub XXX times that you would actually ask us for this money.

[coconutpie]

OMG. I am gobsmacked. Do we need to bring out the agog bench again as I think there'd be a whole army of MNers wanting a seat on it.

You absolutely cannot let this go. They need to be pulled up on this. I am shocked that they stayed with you for 2 weeks and then chased you for £2.50! Seriously, I would put some time aside and do up an itemised list of the additional costs you incurred due to electricity, gas, water, refuse, food, etc and the price of a holiday cottage and send it to the miserable twats. And then I would drop that friendship. That is just unbelievable. You can't ignore this, at least I wouldn't anyway!

[coconutpie]

And I'm floored that they asked you to do a bank transfer of £1.80! That really is scraping the bottom of the barrel.

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Normally i may say just cut these freeloaders off... However, there is a chance they wont realise why...

So you need to tell them.... Please please please invoice them.... Then watch them squirm... We often host lovely giving pals... But its not cheap feeding and watering people for 2 weeks... And to not even leave a gift.... Incredible! It just sounds as if you've been utterly shafted... Horrid!

Go on, do it! You know it makes sense!...

[PavlovaPalaver]

Yes, I'd definitely say something too. Something like:

Dear friends,

It has been lovely to see you all and I hope you had an enjoyable time here. I have transferred the £1.80 that you asked for, but to be honest I am shocked that you asked for it in the first place. We have gladly hosted you for 2 weeks and have incurred many extra costs of food, drink, electricity, gas, etc. so I think that asking for money back for a minor purchase of basic groceries, when you have not contributed anything at all, is very rude.

I hope you will understand that unless there is a fair split of the costs in future then we will not be able to host you for this type of holiday again.

Best,
Tinkle

[BitOutOfPractice]

I would have to send a message saying.

"I have transferred the £1.80. I hope it makes up for the loss of a great friendship. Goodbye."

Cheeky cheeky brass-necked bastards

[noiwontstoptalking]

Actually in these circumstances I think I might need to say something.

I wouldn't be rude or aggressive but I think I would write a short note expressing my disappointment.

We now only have good guests. We've weeded out all the bad ones and have firm agreements about who gets a repeat invite to dinner or to stay.

We have friends coming for the Bank Holiday - they are our favourite guests and we are always so sad when they leave.

[Tinklewinkle]

I was floored when they took the 70p from me to be honest.

I thought I'd text

I've transferred the £1.80, however, I have to ask, is everything OK? Only, I'm surprised and actually, quite hurt, that you've asked for me to pay you back for bread and milk

[fuzzywuzzy]

add,

'..when you have spent two weeks holidaying free board and lodgings etc at my house.'

[EcclefechanTart]

Yes! you definitely need fuzzy's addendum on the end of that text