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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send a bill for the gas/elec/water/etc in return?

570 replies

Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 10:25

We live in a popular holiday area and had some friends staying with us for a couple of weeks. They went home on Sunday.

They've always been really good friends, and we've always got on really well, their kids are the same age as ours and get on well too. We've been on holiday with them before and it was fine, although this is the first time they've stayed with us for more than a weekend

Anyway, one evening they'd been out and they rang to see if we needed anything from the shop on their way home. I asked them to grab some milk and a loaf of bread.

When they came in I was given the receipt - for about £2.50. I didn't have any cash in the house so apologised and said I'd sort it out the next day. Then, I'll be honest, completely forgot about it. Nothing more was said until they left on Sunday when they reminded them I owed them the £2.50. I had about 70p in cash in the house so apologised and gave them that.

I got a text this morning to remind me that I still owe the remainder and giving their bank details so I could do a bank transfer.

I've transferred the money as I can't be arsed hearing any more about it, but I think they've got a thunderingly massive bloody cheek.

They've pretty much got a free holiday out of us. They've stayed in our house for free, used water, gas, electricity. They ate breakfast here every morning, we fed them about 50% of evening meals, they used the washing machine and tumble drier, they've had tea, coffee, cold drinks, snacks, etc, etc, so I'm somewhat miffed that they've quibbled about £2.50 and feel like sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of B&B.

We didn't actually invite them, they wanted to come here and asked if they could stay with us. We nearly always have people staying in the summer holidays, we don't mind in the slightest, we enjoy having guests and are happy to look after them, but I now feel like a mug

OP posts:
MrsBertMacklin · 26/08/2015 18:08

No, I texted back that she was disgusting, or 'you disgust me' something on those lines.

We were part of a group at work who socialised, I told the rest of them when I returned that I couldn't be friends with her any more and why, all got a bit awkward, moreso because she refused to apologise or recognise that her behaviour was fucking weird.

My mum would have been gutted to have missed the opportunity to have been outraged by it all.

SistersOfPercy · 26/08/2015 18:08

MrsBert, nowhere near close to your loss but when my Mum's elderly dog collapsed in the garden and I was at work her neighbour offered to run her to the vets as a matter of urgency. The dog was in pain and sadly put to sleep. On bringing her home the neighbour requested £20 from a 75 year old distraught widow who'd just lost her only companion as 'thats what a taxi would have cost'.

Mum wouldn't let me go and tear a strip off him for the sake of 'neighbourly relations' but after that nothing surprises me.

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/08/2015 18:08

I have to go to work in a couple of hours. Could you let the tightwads know that they should reply by then. Thanks Flowers which is the least they should have done

CrohnicallyAspie · 26/08/2015 18:09

If your iMessage had been read it usually says 'read' and the time, not just 'delivered'.

By the way, I have Asperger's, but when I stayed at a relative's for a week (invited, but also a popular holiday destination) I didn't take the piss! Ie refused offers to have baths and do washing (I know their water bill is very high because they told me), we bought and shared our own snacks and alcohol, bought shopping when they needed a midweek top up, cooked a meal for them (with ingredients we bought), and gave them small keepsake gifts and more alcohol when we left. We did offer a takeaway too on our final night but they had other plans.

BitOutOfPractice · 26/08/2015 18:09

I was very senior in the last company I worked for. I'd been there years and brought in many many tens of thousands for the firm. It was a small company (10 people) and the owner / MD (who I considered a friend) docked my money for the day of my father's funeral. I left very soon after. Some people know the price of everything and the value of nothing

bugslife · 26/08/2015 18:31

Like everybody else, am appalled at this behaviour. I also think that you will get the 'sorry you begrudged it' response back.

Anonymous4321 · 26/08/2015 18:33

They're not tight in so far as they expect us to pay for their meals out/drinks in the pub for instance. We usually order separately and pay our own bills.

That does in fact seem tight to me. If I were getting a free B&B off my friends, I would expect to pay for their drinks if we went out to a pub, and I would certainly insist on taking them out for at least one really good meal.

Yellowbird54321 · 26/08/2015 18:41

Am just aghast at the tightness of some people Shock

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 26/08/2015 18:46

no reply yet?

lljkk · 26/08/2015 18:47

You are handling this in way too a mature manner, OP.
Still, thanks for the thread. I love a "Crazy things people do" thread.

ElderlyKoreanLady · 26/08/2015 18:47

I need to know what they respond. It feels exactly the same as a pregnancy craving.

Hurry up and respond freeloaders!!!!

nicestrongtea · 26/08/2015 18:50

My Bil in law is like this.
He is so obsessed with money that he doesn't consider other people.
Some of the things he has done to save a few pence are utterly cringe worthy and actually make my stomach go into knots of embarrassment and would out me

laffymeal · 26/08/2015 18:51

You can get stiffed as the guest sometimes as well, my brother and his wife used to live in a huge house in York and invited me and dh down frequently. We always took nice stuff with us, forked out for groceries and paid for meals out but began to notice the suggestions for what we could bring with us were getting more specific and expensive (think artisan cheeses and olive oil) and they'd want to go out to wanky gastropubs because we were paying for their meal. We got wise to it and stopped visiting. I have very little to do with them now.

overreactionemoticon · 26/08/2015 18:51

Nothing compared to the op but when I last moved house I was selling a few appliances and some furniture. Friend asked how much I was selling the dishwasher for and said she'd have it. I delivered it to her house and figured she'd pay me later. A few weeks later she followed me into the toilets at work and demanded the £5 I owed her for another colleagues present. I was too gobsmacked to mention the dishwasher!

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 18:54

Sorry, still nothing. And the 'delivered' has now gone from under the iMessage. There's nothing under it now. Does that mean they've read it?

OP posts:
Hissy · 26/08/2015 18:54

You absolutely did the right thing in calling their attention to this revolting behaviour!

ChickenTikkaMassala · 26/08/2015 18:55

If it was sent via iMessage it won't say 'read' unless the receiver has enabled that feature.

Jux · 26/08/2015 18:56

They may think that if they don't reply it'll all blow over and be forgotten and then they can stay with you again.

If they ever ask, tell you'd be delighted to have them. Get the dates and everything arranged and last thing "oh, we charge £2750 for that, and we'll need a 50% deposit by Friday. Do you have a pen to take my bank details for BACS?". That may be too nasty though. Wink

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 26/08/2015 18:56

Bloody hell! I'm betting the cheeky sods will just not reply. Or will casually leave it a few weeks & try to brush it under the carpet. They know their attitude is indefensible & they're embarrassed to be called on it.

YellowTulips · 26/08/2015 18:57

My prediction is that they won't reply and moan to each other about how they did you a favour getting the shopping and grace you with their presence - they have to justify their rudeness and know realistically they can only do that to each other....

MrsB - that's just AWFULConfused

leghoul · 26/08/2015 18:57

OP I think you did the right thing. There's probably a rational explanation... maybe.. like, one of them has an accounting obsession and must tally in and out or something for their spreadsheets not that this is rational but well done
are they on mumsnet? Grin Confused

GoooRooo · 26/08/2015 18:58

I don't think they'll reply either and not because they are hideously embarrassed (although they should be) but because they'll think they did nothing wrong and you're being dramatic (which you absolutely are not!)

Arseholes.

selsigfach · 26/08/2015 19:00

Back on the agog bench!

carabos · 26/08/2015 19:07

Hideous. I've just ended a long business, slightly social relationship having been sent an invoice for £23.80 worth of printing when not 6 weeks ago I gave her FOC a £500 training course that I've spent two years developing. I ignored the invoice when it first came, thinking "surely not", but paid it in the end having had two chasing emails, one of them pretty snarky. I did make my feelings clear however and got no response.

hibbleddible · 26/08/2015 19:09

I'm also waiting for their reply!