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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not spend the time when DH is doing his hobbies doing housework?

72 replies

CathCurtains · 25/08/2015 18:27

DH and I both work full time. I do the vast majority of the household tasks, childcare, etc.

DH has a lot of hobbies and is often out all weekend or all evening doing his hobbies.

I have said that from now on I intend to spend the time that he is doing his hobbies relaxing and not doing housework as I am sick of it.

He thinks I am being unreasonable and unfair and that as I am home then I should be doing it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
trollkonor · 25/08/2015 18:29

He is a thick wanker.

MangoBiscuit · 25/08/2015 18:30

Equal leisure time. If he's out of the house because his commute is longer, or he works more hours, then fair enough. But surely he doesn't think it's fair to skip off to hobbies and use that as an excuse to not pull his weight at home? Cheeky bloody sod if so!

petalsandstars · 25/08/2015 18:35

So According To Him your hobby is cleaning! I'd be telling him to do one with that attitude.

Do whatever you want in his hobby time. Or clean but take the same amount of time for yourself another evening. Or are all the evenings/weekends taken up by his stuff?

Original poster
CathCurtains · 25/08/2015 18:37

Yep most evenings are taken up with his hobbies together with about 75% of weekend time so I can't do anything regularly really.

I think he does it all so he gets to opt out of family time and doing any childcare.

OP posts:
ProcrastinatorGeneral · 25/08/2015 18:38

Fuck. That. Shit.

You need equal time away, and it would appear that a cleaning rota is necessary too as your dickish husband missed the memo where partnership is explained in easy to understand bullet points.

googoodolly · 25/08/2015 18:40

He's taking the piss.

RaspberryOverload · 25/08/2015 18:41

He needs to pull his socks up, and most definitely to grow up.

You both work full time, so the fairest solution is equal amounts on chores, childcare, etc, and therefore equal down time for each of you.

GloGirl · 25/08/2015 18:43

I'd be damped of I had to parent my children and a husband. Think of how much less work there would be if he didn't live there.

No, really think about it.

SlatternLikesToRest · 25/08/2015 18:43

He is away 75% of the weekend and you have kids! I'd be having a word.

He needs to pull his weight.

JaniceJoplin · 25/08/2015 18:44

Stop doing his laundry for starters...

AnyFucker · 25/08/2015 18:44

and you have been tolerating this ? Confused

nailsathome · 25/08/2015 18:46

My ex-H had the same opinion. He still won't accept it is unreasonable behaviour

Fairenuff · 25/08/2015 18:46

What would happen if you took up a hobby that involved 50% of the weekend?

purplepandas · 25/08/2015 18:46

Unbelievable! Your DH is way out of line. Totally agree with you, you should have equal leisure time to your DH.

RandomMess · 25/08/2015 18:47

You'd have less housework and more leisure time if you split...

GloGirl · 25/08/2015 18:53

*I'd be damned if

TheRealAmyLee · 25/08/2015 18:54

I would be asking myself why my DH felt the need to be away so much. 75% of the weekend and most evenings? Do you ever actually spend time together? That needs to change now or you will just end up with buckets of frustration and resentment.

blibblobblub · 25/08/2015 18:57

Hah, fuck that. Tell him to jog on.

Inertia · 25/08/2015 18:57

He is taking the piss spending so much time on hobbies, before you even consider the housework angle.

scribblegirl · 25/08/2015 19:00

With the above.

DH and I both work full time, but I have a 25 min commute and his is regularly over an hour. I use the extra time in the mornings and evenings for housework so we can be together when we're both home.

If he suggested I should be cleaning while he is out getting pissed at the football I'd kick him in the scrotum. Wink

Rainuntilseptember15 · 25/08/2015 19:05

You would think he'd stay at home sometimes for his children, even if he doesn't care about you.

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 25/08/2015 19:05

YANBU!!!!!

This happens to me - DH works (I don't) but I'm expected to look after the kids / clean the house on a weekend 'because DH needs a break' and I'm like 'where's my break??' Take up a hobby you can do with the kids (or take up a hobby and hire a nanny if that's possible?)

Otherwise you will end up being the housekeeper rather than the wife.

peggyundercrackers · 25/08/2015 19:05

tell him he has to do 3nights a week in the house and you can do 4 because you want to take up a hobby, if he asks why ask him why his hobby is more important than yours.

Just because your in the house doesn't mean you are responsible for the work in it... He's crackers!

beardsrock · 25/08/2015 19:08

I agree with you.

If he is doing his hobbies you should chill out too. Same situation here, we both work full time etc. I do most of the chores around the house.

I have found that when I do less DH picks up the slack more. Long may it continue! Nagging doesn't work, but striking does!

Verbena37 · 25/08/2015 19:11

Blimey cathcurtains that sounds crap.

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