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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think going on the piss with a new born in tow is just plain shitty parenting?

39 replies

MintyLizzy9 · 23/08/2015 10:52

i was just gobsmacked to see a family sat in the beer garden yesterday afternoon (mum, dad, 5/6 YO and a new born) and mum and dad drinking pitchers of cocktails. In the 40 min I was there they had two pitchers and showed no sign of slowing down. Am I being overly judgy here or is this just wrong?! I'm not yet a parent myself but can't imagine ever drinking like that with a 5 year old to look after let alone such a tiny baby

OP posts:

Bailey101 · 23/08/2015 10:54

Maybe they were virgin cocktails.

Original poster

MintyLizzy9 · 23/08/2015 10:56

Sadly not, I was actually stood by the bar when he ordered one there was enough booze to sink a ship in that jug!

OP posts:

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 23/08/2015 10:58

YABU. As long as they don't drink so much that they're incapable of looking after the kids. Life doesn't stop after a baby is born, you're still allowed to get drunk.

UrethraFranklin1 · 23/08/2015 11:04

Not your business

cariadlet · 23/08/2015 11:04

YNBU

Life doesn't stop after a baby is born, you're still allowed to get drunk.

Of course you are - but not in front of the kids. If you like to have more than just a couple of drinks then you either get a babysitter or take turns to go out.

SillyStuffBiting · 23/08/2015 11:08

There's usually only 4 measures in a pitcher

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 23/08/2015 11:09

YABU. It's not your business.

NotMyMonkey · 23/08/2015 11:10

Were they actually drunk though? Me and Dh could easily enjoy a few cocktails without being too drunk to look after the children. It's none of your business, so yes YABU.

stitchglitched · 23/08/2015 11:11

Enjoying a few cocktails in a beer garden is hardly 'going on the piss'. YABU.

MyNewBearTotoro · 23/08/2015 11:11

Were they still sober enough to safely attend to the needs of their baby and 5yo?

If yes YABU but obviously if they drunk enough that they couldn't properly care for the two DC that's a different matter. It's fine to have a drink or two after having DC and even when caring for DC if you stop before your ability to care for them is compromised.

Think YABU to judge when nothing you've said suggests they were too drunk to care for DC? If they had continued to drink pitcher after pitcher that would be awful but it sounds like you left before them? Maybe they were going to move on to soft drinks after the pitchers you saw or maybe they had a friend/relative coming to collect the DC. Always unreasonable to judge if you don't know the full circumstances.

Mermaidhair · 23/08/2015 11:12

Actually I think it is everyone's business if there is obvious shitty parenting. I wasn't there to know, if it was shitty parenting though.

SillyStuffBiting · 23/08/2015 11:15

And 2 in 40 minutes could mean anything. . They were finishing up the first just after you arrived so ordered another hardly sounds like a downing competition does it? They could have been nursing the first one for ages.

tabulahrasa · 23/08/2015 11:16

Being drunk in charge of a child under 7 in a public place is illegal...so um, no, actually it's not fine to be drunk with a newborn.

MummaV · 23/08/2015 11:18

We have had quite a few lovely sunny days over the summer and me and DH or DM have taken DD (now 4mo) to a beer garden and shared a bottle of wine or a few pitchers of cocktails. Never have any of us been too drunk to look after DD and would not allow ourselves to be.

Having a baby who is too young to do things such as soft play etc and is happy playing in pram with a soft toy or having cuddles means they come along with whatever you want to do. Be that a beer garden or otherwise.

It would be shitty parenting to be legless or to have the baby in a pub late at night but otherwise I don't see how a few drinks in the afternoon in a beer garden is shit parenting. YABU.

NotMyMonkey · 23/08/2015 11:18

OP hasn't actually said they were drunk though. Just that they were drinking.

Original poster

MintyLizzy9 · 23/08/2015 11:19

life doesn't stop for sure....however responsibilities change. Time and a place for everything.

www.closeronline.co.uk/2015/06/parents-arrested-after-taking-baby-on-all-day-binge-drinking-session

OP posts:

SillyStuffBiting · 23/08/2015 11:21

I'm 'gobsmacked' that you were child free in a beer garden on a sunny Saturday afternoon and had nothing better to do than take notes on the alcohol consumption of others.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 23/08/2015 11:21

If they were ok to drive they would be ok to take care of their DCs. I have a feeling though that a breathalyser test would get them into trouble so YANBU

Devilishpyjamas · 23/08/2015 11:23

What was in the cocktails? :misses point: Pitchers sounds like Pimms. Now there's an idea.

Providing they weren't driving I don't see an issue really.

When I lived in Japan I came across a young boy (under 8) at a sake festival trying to get his paralytic father to stand up & go home. I judged that, but not much else.

SillyStuffBiting · 23/08/2015 11:26

Drink driving limits and breathalysers have naff all to do with it! Unless they were driving...

Birdsgottafly · 23/08/2015 11:33

I can down a pitcher and not even feel that I've drank. I could and have drank two and other drinks, spaced out and been able to go home and parent my children, as a LP. So it depends on the overall alcohol drank.

The children could of been getting dropped off/picked up someone etc.

""Of course you are - but not in front of the kids.""

I'm a 70's (well 60's) child, it didn't do us any harm, my children have seen me tipsy and I was a CP SW.

The OP hasn't seen enough for us to make a judgement.

boovmoves · 23/08/2015 11:39

I don't see anything wrong with this. Some people don't have babysitters for 18 years and they were sitting in a beer garden, not ay a rave.

Original poster

MintyLizzy9 · 23/08/2015 11:49

It wasn't a family style pub, there were a number of stag/hen dos going on as well. Certainly not the nice local beer garden.

They came in after me and I only noticed the amount of booze going into the jug because I thought bloody hell I'd be on my back after one of those. It was only after I went outside again that I noticed it was the family that had come in minutes before. I don't think you can't drink at all when you have a child but I do think you have to be responsible.

It wasn't the usual couple of shots and loads of fruit juice, this bar clearly catered for the stag/hen do market and the cocktail jugs reflected this. I may be being overly sensitive here and if I am so be it but I have spent a lot of time with social services over the last year with lots of training on caring for 'looked after children' and the impact their parents lifestyle/own up bringing/parenting ability has had on them and the life long challenges and difficulties it can mean and yes excessive alcohol features heavily in why some children are removed from their parents care.

I'm not saying this couple regularly do this, I don't know them and I have no idea how much more they had after I left/before I saw them. I do think drinking that amount of spirits in a short space was irresponsible, it was far from a jug of Pimms!

I always thought I was fairly relaxed about booze loves nothing more than a booze up but after some responses may have to re think that!

OP posts:

boovmoves · 23/08/2015 11:51

Yeah, but just cause you would be on your back doesn't mean they would be.

boovmoves · 23/08/2015 11:52

LAC situations are totally different to a couple having 2 jugs in a beer garden

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