To think going on the piss with a new born in tow is just plain shitty parenting?

[MintyLizzy9]

i was just gobsmacked to see a family sat in the beer garden yesterday afternoon (mum, dad, 5/6 YO and a new born) and mum and dad drinking pitchers of cocktails. In the 40 min I was there they had two pitchers and showed no sign of slowing down. Am I being overly judgy here or is this just wrong?! I'm not yet a parent myself but can't imagine ever drinking like that with a 5 year old to look after let alone such a tiny baby

[Runningupthathill82]

YABU, for all the reasons already pointed out.

[LockedOutOfMN]

Personally, I would not judge another parent without knowing the circumstances and even then I would try hard not to be judgemental.

[cariadlet]

"Of course you are - but not in front of the kids

Laughing really hard at this."


I posted the first comment and stand by it. I didn't say that you shouldn't have a couple of drinks in front of the kids; I said that you shouldn't get drunk in front of the kids.
There isn't enough info in the OP to say whether this is what was happening or not, but I do think that getting pissed in front of your children is wrong.

[Iflyaway]

Maybe she had a shitty pregnancy and was celebrating now?

Easy to judge superficially but you never know the back story.

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

Depends how drunk they were. Wee they rowdy/slurring their words/causing trouble? My DH could easily sink a pitcher and would barely feel it. Maybe one of them was drinking most of it and the other was just having a glass or 2? Impossible to know whether it was worth judging without knowing more.

[EatDessertFirst]

YABU but I do see where you are coming from. A minority of parents in the pub I work in allow their kids to run riot so they can get pissed. I've seen very distressed babies strapped into pushchairs while their parents drink copious amounts. Its a shame there is no protection for staff who should eventually be able to refuse them service.

One of my first shifts at a pub involved a long arguement with woman who wanted to bring her tiny newborn into the very very noisy pub at 11.30pm on Friday night so 'she could get a bit gattered (her own words)'. That is the kind of parent that should be judged.

[OTheHugeManatee]

I thought you meant someone had stuck their 3-day-old baby in a sling and gone out in her stripper heels for Friday 2 for 1s at the Slug and Lettuce

Afternoon in a beer garden and a couple of pitchers? Meh.

[Tyrannosaurus]

Were the parents actually doing anything that caused you concern, other than what they were drinking? I think YABU. If they were slurring, falling over, and neglecting the DC then that is a problem. If they were just drinking more than you deem acceptable, but still looking after their DC properly, then it is their business, and no one elses. Also if there were children there, then presumably the pub has a license that allows children, and is therefore aimed at families as much as everyone else?

[YesIleftthebastard]

I was under the impression that stag/hen do's are not usual for a Sat afternoon, that's for the wedding
Basically mind your own business

[Hairballs]

WTF has this got to do with looked after children? Was the adult behaviour that bad that it caused you genuine concern?

What other evidence of shitty parenting did you observe, other than alcohol consumption?

[MumOfTheMoment]

OP YANBU

I would have judged too.

[LoveChickens]

Of course you are - but not in front of the kids

Laughing really hard at this.

[rainingfrogs]

I find scenarios like that really uncomfortable because I am the child of an alcoholic and I spent much of my childhood frightened of the behaviour of my drunk parent.

That does not mean that parents in a sunny beer garden having a few drinks are irresponsible.

[MintyLizzy9]

Fair enough I shall remove my judgy pants and get on with the ironing!

Have a lovely Sunday everyone.

[boovmoves]

LAC situations are totally different to a couple having 2 jugs in a beer garden

[boovmoves]

Yeah, but just cause you would be on your back doesn't mean they would be.

[MintyLizzy9]

It wasn't a family style pub, there were a number of stag/hen dos going on as well. Certainly not the nice local beer garden.

They came in after me and I only noticed the amount of booze going into the jug because I thought bloody hell I'd be on my back after one of those. It was only after I went outside again that I noticed it was the family that had come in minutes before. I don't think you can't drink at all when you have a child but I do think you have to be responsible.

It wasn't the usual couple of shots and loads of fruit juice, this bar clearly catered for the stag/hen do market and the cocktail jugs reflected this. I may be being overly sensitive here and if I am so be it but I have spent a lot of time with social services over the last year with lots of training on caring for 'looked after children' and the impact their parents lifestyle/own up bringing/parenting ability has had on them and the life long challenges and difficulties it can mean and yes excessive alcohol features heavily in why some children are removed from their parents care.

I'm not saying this couple regularly do this, I don't know them and I have no idea how much more they had after I left/before I saw them. I do think drinking that amount of spirits in a short space was irresponsible, it was far from a jug of Pimms!

I always thought I was fairly relaxed about booze loves nothing more than a booze up but after some responses may have to re think that!

[boovmoves]

I don't see anything wrong with this. Some people don't have babysitters for 18 years and they were sitting in a beer garden, not ay a rave.

[Birdsgottafly]

I can down a pitcher and not even feel that I've drank. I could and have drank two and other drinks, spaced out and been able to go home and parent my children, as a LP. So it depends on the overall alcohol drank.

The children could of been getting dropped off/picked up someone etc.

""Of course you are - but not in front of the kids.""

I'm a 70's (well 60's) child, it didn't do us any harm, my children have seen me tipsy and I was a CP SW.

The OP hasn't seen enough for us to make a judgement.

[SillyStuffBiting]

Drink driving limits and breathalysers have naff all to do with it! Unless they were driving...

[Devilishpyjamas]

What was in the cocktails? :misses point: Pitchers sounds like Pimms. Now there's an idea.

Providing they weren't driving I don't see an issue really.

When I lived in Japan I came across a young boy (under 8) at a sake festival trying to get his paralytic father to stand up & go home. I judged that, but not much else.

[AnotherTimeMaybe]

If they were ok to drive they would be ok to take care of their DCs. I have a feeling though that a breathalyser test would get them into trouble so YANBU

[SillyStuffBiting]

I'm 'gobsmacked' that you were child free in a beer garden on a sunny Saturday afternoon and had nothing better to do than take notes on the alcohol consumption of others.

[MintyLizzy9]

life doesn't stop for sure....however responsibilities change. Time and a place for everything.

www.closeronline.co.uk/2015/06/parents-arrested-after-taking-baby-on-all-day-binge-drinking-session

[NotMyMonkey]

OP hasn't actually said they were drunk though. Just that they were drinking.