To ask for advice on responding to stealth boasting?

[Drmum83]

I'll try to keep it brief..
Best friend, love her to bits, has been there for me majorly through shit.
She has always been a stealth boaster. Openly admits to competing with mutual friends, says she 'doesn't compete with me as we're so equal in most aspects of life there's no point'
She got married before me by a few weeks (and rushed to do this), had first baby before me etc etc
Current issue - she has decided to move house and I'm now being bombarded with texts 'oh god, already got 2 viewings and house only went online an hour ago' etc
Starting to get on my tits.
I know it shouldn't but it is.
I'm not in the least bit competitive, I'm very happy with my family and home etc.
I want to send a response which acknowledges her boasting but also gives a message that I'm not rising to the bait and, despite what she says, not open to a competition.
Help me compose please!! TIA

"Pleased all going well for you" ???

It can be annoying! But I think a simple "glad to hear it's going so well" would suffice. Succinct, civil and a bit of a shut down.

Oops, x-posted a bit with fatmomma

Errm...that doesn't really sound like stealth boasting on this occasion?

Selling/buying a house is a massive thing. If she's your best friend, then why wouldn't she want to share that with you?

WRT the rest of the stealth boasting, I'd just ignore it because you know exactly what she's like, so no point in stooping to that level and getting involved in a competition.

It sounds pretty tiresome.

Boasting? Have you got the wrong word there?

She sounds a bit over-excited and tiresome if there are lots of texts.

Why don't you reply "Let me know when you get an offer".

Sounds like she's a bit of a frenemy. Real friends don't feel the need to brag like that.

I had a very competitive friend. I let it slide because I knew she was insecure, but I eventually got sick of it. It felt like she actually had a bit of contempt for me. We're no longer friends.

I think stealth boasting is sometimes in the eye of the beholder. Are you sure you aren't in competition with her?

if it really is boasting, then you have to just think to yourself that they are never going to 'win' if you decide not to take part (i.e. don't compete back)

Plus, they must feel pretty insecure deep down to bother with competing with everyone. So it's all about them, nothing to do with you

If I had a friend who regularly irritated the hell out of me, for whatever reason, i'd limit my contact with them

How about 'well, that's a nice problem to have. Good luck'.

A plain smiley :) will show you've read and acknowledged her texts without you having to actually engage.

Doesn't sound like stealth boasting.

I remember our first viewings booked sent us to a slight panic as we needed to do a major sort and tidy so it was "oh no we now have a deadline of 3 days time to do a weeks worth of work".

But if you think it's stealth boasting then just a quick "brilliant news, pleased it's happening so quickly for you" is a good response.

it takes two to compete. So don't join in.

And it would never occur to me that people have baby races!

just ignore. All very trivial. Turn your phone off or block her texts.

oh god, already got 2 viewings and house only went online an hour ago

is absolutely a stealth boast, one of my pet hates. The sentence above is wording a boast (I have received viewings on my house so quickly, it is clearly a fantastic house) as a moan.

Saying: Guess what, I've got 2 viewings and house only went online an hour ago!* - that's what a non-steath boaster would say. I'd have np problem with that.

Making the tone a woe-is-me moan, that is the thing.

Maybe she's just a drama queen rather than a boaster

Just sounds like panic to me

yes

She's a boaster all right. I'd just go with 'Good', and then text about something you want to text about.

Better get tidying then! Good Luck.

I have a step Mum like this.
Last night she must have spent 10 minutes explaining why her house is in a higher council tax band than all her neighbours in the close.
What a palaver it is, to have a bigger garden.

UPDATE

'Been on market 7 hours and we've sold, can't believe it, made 20% on value in 3 years, this is too easy!'
(Received this before I'd even replied to original texts)
Followed by a phonecall which I couldn't really ignore telling me how wonderful the viewers thought her decor was and how amazing the intended new purchase is.

Aarggh!

If she's really your best friend, it should be nice to hear that it's going well?

If you find her annoying and her good news irritating, maybe the friendship has run its course and it's time to move on?

Well, the one she's bought will have gone up 20% too in all likelihood, so offer your sympathy at her being at the mercy of an overheated property market.

Hazlenutt

I agree. It doesn't really matter whether she's intending to boast or whether the OP is perceiving it that way, or whatever: it doesn't sound as if she's your best friend anymore

her best friend

I don't think that sounds like all that much of a stealth boast TBH, unless you were selling yours at the same time and had had no viewings?

If you really want to piss on her chips I suppose you could say "Oh that's really quick! I've never known anyone sell that fast. Are you sure the Estate Agent had it on at a high enough price?

But I think you're being a bit unfair.