To ask for advice on responding to stealth boasting?

[Drmum83]

I'll try to keep it brief..
Best friend, love her to bits, has been there for me majorly through shit.
She has always been a stealth boaster. Openly admits to competing with mutual friends, says she 'doesn't compete with me as we're so equal in most aspects of life there's no point'
She got married before me by a few weeks (and rushed to do this), had first baby before me etc etc
Current issue - she has decided to move house and I'm now being bombarded with texts 'oh god, already got 2 viewings and house only went online an hour ago' etc
Starting to get on my tits.
I know it shouldn't but it is.
I'm not in the least bit competitive, I'm very happy with my family and home etc.
I want to send a response which acknowledges her boasting but also gives a message that I'm not rising to the bait and, despite what she says, not open to a competition.
Help me compose please!! TIA

Apparently, grand ladies in the American South will say "Bless your heart!" to someone who is boasting. I think this is more if they know they are lying, but I think it would work as a catch-all come back.

I used to have a 'friend' like this too - she spend the entire time subtly and less subtly putting me down and letting me know how much better she had it. Even ridiculous things like how happy she has to have such thin lips and not full ones like mine
We had fun times as well, but she was no friend. Now I only have friends who are genuinely happy if I'm doing well, and vice versa.

I have an ex-friend like this -she was my bridesmaid and at one of my dress fittings she was asked by the lovely owner of the very small shop where she bought her dress as she had married 6 months before.

Her response, instead of just naming the place said 'oh I had a COUTURE dress'

Which she fucking didn't, the designer had a high street shop, my friend went in, said I like that one in the window and had it made up!!

I just fell she was trying to put down this woman with her modestly priced wedding dresses-where incidentally I picked a style I liked and had it made up...

COUTURE my arse

I think this is sharing happy exciting news.it doesn't sound like boasting to me.

It sounds very irritating and to be honest Drmum it would get on my saggy tits! I could not cope with a boasty friend really I couldn't.

If I were you, every time she does it to the extreme I would say "Life is not a competition, you know".

She sounds extremely insecure, only an insecure person could act like this - always having to be the best, feel she has the best, better than anyone - she needs to feel this for validation.

Nishky, long pause and a "bless your heart" to your old school friend would have filled the silence I bet!

Bless your heart does for a long list of faux pas I believe!

I have known a few people like this, they up sell every detail of their life even to their own friends. They're so focused on appearances they damage relationships (with old friends) just for appearances.

It's often school friends who won't let you evolve I think. The ones I'm still in touch with are all really sorted and don't need a few hours on a brown leather couch but I've distanced myself from one or two over the decades!

One, we were neck and neck academically but then after school she put on about 80 pounds (something traumatic did happen to her and I was supportive) but she tried to re-brand me as a bimbo, and herself as the intellectual. I though she couldn't handle being 'the fat one' so she kept saying things that branded me the stupid one.. Bringing up things I'd done when I was 13, as though they were proof I were dim. Then acting like the world's biggest intellectual. People I'd met two days were nice to me but a school friend I'd known since I was four was making me feel frustrated, indignant, guilty, angry....... When I tried to pull away, she said I had an issue where I was all over new friends and not showing loyalty to old ones.

Thanks all for your anecdotes and advice!
(For those interested, they have had offers exceeding the asking price today and I'm really happy for them)