not to know if "brown sugar" is offensive.

[Charis1]

I am taking some gifts from work colleagues to a friend in hospital tomorrow. We had a collection, and one person bought the gifts from us all. We have some nice toiletries and things, but are in a toiletry bag with a picture of a teddy on it and the caption "brown sugar". I thought that term sometimes used in a racist context, so am reluctant to hand this over. but not sure if I am being paranoid and overly politically correct.

Please help!

I'd someone gave my kid a golliwog I'd go mad.

I personally don't find the word "Paki" offensive. Why would I? I'm not of Pakistani heritage, and I don't think it's a bad thing to be of Pakistani heritage.

If I were of Pakistani (or other Indian sub continent) heritage, I would find it offensive, because I would know that that was how it was intended.

So, even though it's not offensive to me personally I don't use that word, and I would explain to others why their choice of language might be misconstrued, if they chose, in all innocence, to use it.

I'm having a bit of trouble finding an "I ? chocolate" mug offensive. It's a commonplace remark pertaining to a much-loved food product.

And I am not responsible for that awful oppression and abuse! I have never, EVER abused or oppressed anyone in my life. Yes, I am well aware of the awful, horrific past. Of course I am. But having a stuffed toy in my house without throwing it in the bin does not mean I'm a racist. If you honestly believe in sweeping statements like that then you are the bigot, not me.

What if I walked past one without saying anything in a toy shop? Would that make me a racist? What if my Gran owned one and I didn't insist she bin it? Does that make me a racist?

Well it's almost like you're intentionally missing the point. At least I hope you are, for your own sake.

yep, I'm just really thick. I am an evil, horrible, thick as shit person. I should probably go and throw myself off the nearest bridge so MN can have a massive celebration and crack open the champagne.

For those of you who don't think golliwogs are racist, I suggest an experiment. Introduce one into an African American community in the US South and gauge the reaction. You will have your answer.

Seemingly even MJ sings alternative versions of it now and wouldn't write it now.

I wouldn't give it, I wouldn't buy it; I actually might not have initially made the racial links, more it's a bear of the colour of brown sugar, it would be because at first gut reaction due to the shit design. And I hate teddy bears.

Molton Brown perhaps...

How do some people find it hard to accept that some things are offensive to some people, even if not to themselves, and therefore to act accordingly?

You may find those people who are taking offense 'stupid' or 'over the top' or whatever, but it is no more up to you to decide they should not take offense than it is for them to tell you that you should. And surely the person or group who are offended, for whatever reason, have the right to be respected?

Thus we do not call black people 'coloured', we do not call mixed race people 'half caste'. Yes, these terms were fine when I was growing up, now they are not - I have managed to learn that. I am not offended by them for myself nor on behalf of anyone else, but I am grown up enough and capable enough to understand that if other people, individuals or groups, are offended or consider them inappropriate then I have enough respect for other people to just accept that without arguing.

Same goes for golliwogs, swastickers (Godwins law anyone?), mugs with 'I [heart] Chocolate' on them, wash bags with 'brown sugar' on them and so on.

There is no defending these things with "well I don't find it offensive and nor does my black friend", just accept that other people do and be kind to people.

As an individual I don't like being called 'love' by men. I especially don't like it at work. I am not 'offended' but I don't like it. So when one did, continually, I asked him not to. He got all defensive and said "what, what, is it like sexist then, it is non-PC....?". Why does it have to be those things? I said "no, I just don't like it so am asking you not to call me it. How would you like it if I called you PigFace?".

He stopped.

It's just general respect and kindness isn't it?

Wow we even just got "you're the REAL bigots, not me!"

Gollies are disgusting. You're aware of the racism black people (and other ethnic minorities, but in this case black people) have faced and continue to face, you're aware of the continuing portrayal. No one is saying "and that was all caused by you, horsey" but rather - gollies are a product of that. They're not just a cuddly toy, but they have huge amounts of racist context. It's like you're deliberately not seeing it, you just stick your fingers in your ear and keep chanting "I'm not racist, they're just a toy" instead of listening. If people did more listening I dare say we'd have made more progress with race relations than we have.

With that in mind, the op was not BU to double check if it was or not.

It's a 'walk a mile in my shoes' situation; we cannot fully imagine how things hurt until we have experienced it ourselves.

Seriously, an "I love chocolate" mug is racist? I really don't get that one. Why would someone assume it was racist rather than just a mug for someone who really liked eating chocolate? If I say "I love chocolate" is it offensive? (because I do!)

I would not give that as a gift either OP. You can argue offensive or not but even if someone took it to be a compliment rather than an insult (think beautiful rather than prostitute) it is still like giving a colleague a mug with "Sexy Lady" on it... you just wouldn't.

The Golliwogg was based on a Black minstrel doll that Upton had played with as a small child in New York. The then-nameless "Negro minstrel doll" was treated roughly by the Upton children. Upton reminiscenced: "Seated upon a flowerpot in the garden, his kindly face was a target for rubber balls..., the game being to knock him over backwards. It pains me now to think of those little rag legs flying ignominiously over his head, yet that was a long time ago, and before he had become a personality.... We knew he was ugly!" (Johnson).

The Upton Golliwogg was adventurous and sometimes silly, but, in the main, gallant and "lovable," albeit, unsightly. Later Golliwogs were often unkind, mean-spirited, and even more visually hideous.

Way before Blyton.
Can you see what's wrong with your reasoning yet Horsey?

The Golliwog was created during a racist era. He was drawn as a caricature of a minstrel which itself represented a demeaning image of blacks. There is racial stereotyping of black people in Florence Upton's books, including The Adventures of Two Dutch Dolls such as the black minstrel playing a banjo on page 45. It appears that the Golliwog was another expression of Upton's racial insensitivity. Certainly later Golliwogs often reflected negative beliefs about blacks thieves, miscreants, incompetents. There is little doubt that the words associated with Golliwog Golly, Golli, Wog, and Golliwog, itself -- are often used as racial slurs. Finally, the resurgence of interest in the Golliwog is not found primarily among children, but instead is found among adults, some nostalgic, others with financial interests.

Bumble et al.
An 'I love chocolate' mug is fine at home. Not in an office situation however. Being aware of how others feel and the interpretations of some messages is just polite, kind, thoughtful.

Dawn, I think some of us are just wondering why it would be interpreted that way at all rather than just in the way it is intended.

Because people use the term to intimidate black people, often black women, but sometimes men too. It's all about context and that makes the office inappropriate.

Chocolate? So using the word 'chocolate' in an office environment is inappropriate now. Is it just me that thinks this is a bit ?

Again, bumbley it's context, the way it's used and sometimes it's used offensively. My dd had it the other day, she's 19, she's just come back from france, we're of Spanish descent so olive skinned. A chap in a cafe, my age siddled past stating he'd love a bit of chocolate, whilst leering at her tits. How do you think she felt? How would that go down in an office situation.
No, I didn't punch his lights out, but he won't get a holiday booking in that particular seaside town again, that's the advantage of being local.

I've never liked The Stones and even in the far less enlightened times of the early 70s when I was just a teenager the lyrics of Brown Sugar were unacceptable to me.

I don't have and never have had a mug with "I heart chocolate" or any slogan mug for that matter as they are all a bit naff. But honestly to interpret a mug saying "I love chocolate" as being anything more than literally "I love the processed product of the cocoa bean" seems a bit extreme.