Is he overreacting or am I being unreasonable

[Drankthemilk]

This evening I had a bowl of cereal as dp works late on Thursdays and when he came in there was only a small amount of milk left.

He's had a right go at me and said I am selfish and only think of myself

Do you think he's right or is he being harsh?

If theres no milk to have a cuppa, and you didn't think to text/call him to say to pick up milk on his way home, then I would be annoyed to get back and then have to go back out to get milk tbh.

Going on the info provided, Yanbu to have a bowl cereal and he is u to have a go at you.

However, can't someone buy some more milk?

Is it anyone's job to buy the milk, or could you have text him to pick some up on the way home if he is particularly partial to milk?

LTB!

Just kidding!

Would it be reasonable to assume he would want more milk than was left? If he is a regular tea drinker for example it would have been obvious you needed more milk.

Would it have been unreasonable to warn him of the problem and suggest he got some milk on the way home?

You can't save it just in case he wants it and you should be able to drink the milk if you want it but you could have made arrangements for more milk.

Draining the milk so there's next to nothing left would be considered a deal breaker in this house.

Couldn't you have sent him a text asking him to pick some up on hs way home so that there's enough for you in the morning?

It sounds like a 'straw that broke the camels back' issue.

Is he stressed/upset/pissed off at something else?
Do you have form for this?
Did you ask him to bring milk home?

I offered to go and get some as I just didn't really notice but he's got really standoffish and saying it doesn't matter but banging doors and muttering so clearly it does.

Well I think it's quite a small issue personally. I think I try to leave enough for dh to have s cup of tea in the evening, or text him asking to pick some up on way home. It has happened in the past that the dcs have finished the milk and we had to do without until next morning or sometimes I finish it and it's too late to get somemore. I don't think it's the end of the world but probably would mention before dh tried to make a cuppa and realise it's all gone at the last minute as that can be annoying.

He's only being reasonable if he relies on milk to stay alive

Otherwise he can piss off. Can't even imagine having a massive go and name calling for something so trivial.

Don't offer, just go and get more milk.

Based on your second post I'd say he's reacting, you offered to get more what more does he want!

I agree with PPs - if you could reasonably have been expected to know that he would want more milk than there was left in the house, the YABU to drink most of it and not let him know to pick some up on the way home or get some yourself. If he has decided that he needs milk for something that you had no way of knowing he would want, then YANBU and he needs to either get some more, take you up on your offer or STFU.

Is he having a bad day? He shouldn't be stomping about like a toddler, but there might be more behind it.

I need the car to do that and he's for the keys or I'd just go.

I'm struggling to believe you used most of the milk but 'didn't realise'. Why didn't either of you flag up the milk situation earlier today or you text/phone him to bring a pint on his way home?

I should have done this but I was talking on my phone at the time and just didn't really clock I'd used it all. But this is what he's saying - that I did realise but was lazy and couldn't be bothered getting more and I am not.

Keep a spare pint in the freezer in future

To answer your question: A little bit of both. I've had long days at work and all I want to do is come home, have a bit of comforting tea, a quick bite to eat before heading to the shower and bed. Sometimes, just thought of all that helps you get through a long, hard day. And, you come home and it goes all apeshit because someone ate all the food or or drank all the milk. Its the last straw and you focus on that incident because you are already tired and just want this last little thing to go well. So, it is an overreaction but understandable.

It would have been nice if you noticed the milk and texted to him to grab more.

It's a petty annoyance. You wouldn't want him to leave you without milk.

I'd be a bit narked that you didn't think on me and eat something else.

Cereal is a milk greedy product and that gasping for a brew feeling when you get home from work can make you all emotional....

You should do what we do, have the milk man deliver, so he'd have a fresh pint on the doorstep in the morning. But as you don't, just go and get the keys and get milk for the morning. Y were both BU

It's not just about tonight.

Think about tomorrow morning!

There will be no milk!

You will have to go to work with no tea!

Don't use it all unless you can get some more. Or leave a tinky bit and just fill it up with water never done that before oh no

Am I missing something? OK, drinking nearly all the milk without noticing is something to avoid and to apologise for, but in what world is it ok to slam doors and call someone selfish and lazy because of it? Lack of tea is not good (I am a tea addict so know that of which I speak!), but surely not worth being nasty to your partner about?

Hm well, personally I'd be annoyed if DP used all the milk one evening as we both have coffee with milk in and cereal for breakfast. Shouting is definitely U though - I'd assume he's tired and stressed but that doesn't make it ok.

pffft.
DH finished off all the milk this morning as he fancied it as a drink for a change. I didn't realise until I'd filled the children's bowls with cereal. They had toasted burger buns instead (all I could find). No big deal.
If I were you, I'd get in the car and buy the milk, then place it dramatically infront of him, telling him he can shut up now. But that's just me - I like to ramp it up a bit especially when someone's being so petty.