To not know what to do next

[tryharder100]

Really struggling to make ends meet.

My breaking point today was my daughters shoes rubbing and making her foot bleed due to being too small.

I have really decluttered in the last month and sold everything that is not essential to get us by but getting going back to school stuff has cleared me out again.

I need to come up with a plan for long term as can't go on like this but does anyone know if I could just walk into a clothes bank or something similar to get me by or if I would need to be referred and how do I do that?

Hate the thought of taking that help away from someone in more need than me but maybe need to shallow my pride a bit as clearly it's not helping my kids.

Could you try for a crisis loan? Tell them you can't afford shoes for your daughter. If they can't help they could point you in the right direction. Have you tried cheap shoe places like shoe zone? You can get wee canvas converse type shoes for £6 I think, or maybe primark? If you can't stretch to that, defo ask dhss for help, you're bound to be eligible for some sort of help. Did you get a uniform grant?

Like the poster above, if you tell us her shoe and clothes size perhaps people have stuff they would be able to donate?

Sorry should have been more specific the shoes are my younger daughter who is 2 and the school stuff was for my son.

My friend has offered me some shoes now. That will hopefully fit her. just so upset that I have allowed it to get this bad.

I'm not eligible for any loans or grants as I work but childcare costs are crippling me and just trying to get by week by week. my daughter will qualify for 15 hours free in November so hopefully things will get a bit easier then. I just feel like I have failed them both. I don't mind going without.

Thanks for offers but really couldn't take anything off anyone.

Don't let your pride be injured by this, getting kids ready for going back to school costs a small fortune, and uniform grant here is only £35, uniform (2x everything except coat, plus shoes and gutties) cost nearly £90! It's an awkward time of year money wise, if it's hitting you hard, do ask for help, that's why it's there.

I have sent you a pm.

Do you have a sports direct near to you? They have a lot of kids' shoes and clothes that are cheap. Canvas little girls shoes are £2 for example.

Do you have any thing that you could offer up for a swap on here? I've seen a fair few swap threads, it might be worth starting one.

I have a nearly 3yo girl, I've got a couple of pairs of shoes going if you want them? And a pair of wellies if you need them as well - DD2 has just grown out of them.

Would it benefit you to drop a few hours, and pay no childcare for those hours?

Freecycle can be a Godsend, give it a go.

Tryharder - when is your dd's birthday? Funding for nursery is from the term after a child's 2nd or 3rd birthday, so if her birthday is in November, she will not be eligible for any funding until January - sorry.

Could you speak to your children's centre and see what additional support is available for you?

Little fish she is 3 at the beginning of October so free place will start in November after October half term. should half childcare costs.

I have looked through. dropping hours but I wouldn't be able to put them back up once she was at nursery and school so will just have to struggle. I am trying to progress at work into management or higher roles though so I can earn more the way.

I will look at free cycle. not heard of that before.

Thanks everyone.

A foodbank may have access to a clothing bank.
Have you checked you are claiming everything you are entitled to?
What about free nursery places for 2 year olds do you qualify for that?
If you can chat to the CAB they may be able to help
As might Jobcenter plus in making sure you have everything you are entitled to and can access any grants they know of locally.
For instance in the town where I live, I know of at least two grants you could access and I am sure every town has other philanthropic or LA schemes

Our local church has a clothes bank. I don't think you need referrals. There may be some in your area doing the same. Best of luck, and try not to beat yourself up over this.

Yy to freecycle also freegle.org. I often got whole bags full of clothes and shoes for my dts. People are only too glad to declutter espevially with clothes for 2-3 as thry grow so fast. Also our school has donated uniforms cheaply. I have no shame buying these things as mine go through clothes like nothing and are both the same size. (And all the uniform trousers barr 2 pairs I bought are too big!!)

I assume you get all your tax credits towards childcare costs calculated correctly? Might be worth checking the benefit checker to make sure you get everything and also check you cannot save anything by switching energy, broadband or phone provider.

I'm really really sorry, but unless you council is very unusual, she won't be funded until January. If you've had confirmation from the school that she is funded from November, please ignore that - I've experience of a few councils but they are all the same. January funding for an Ocober birthday. My DD is also 3 this term and won't be funded until January. I have a spare winter coat knocking about if that is something you need - she has had handme downs from her sister and cousins so we have a few duplicates.

I'm sorry but SocksRock is correct AFAIK

Mumsnet has both a clothes bank thread and school uniform bank thread (both in the credit crunch section in Money) so please post what you need and if anyone has it they will post to you

socks rock I have spoken to the school who have offered her a place in November thankfully so that's good.I have a winter coat saved that a friend gave me but thank you for kind offer.

Most of the problem comes from tax credits overpaying me for years and now claiming it back. I do still get a little from them bit will be happier getting a promotion at work so I don't rely on that anymore.

I will definitely look into clothes banks and food banks.

Try harder - I'm really sorry but I agree with SocksRock. I work in a nursery and none of the local authorities I know of offer a half term start for funding. Please give the local authority NEF funding team a ring to check though.

While you're talking to them, see if you are eligible for 2 year old funding in the meantime.

Sorry - cross posted with you. That's great news about being able to access funding through the school. That will really help.

That's great of the school

I agree with pp about the Jan start date for free hours. Not to knock you down further but to help you plan accordingly. Please check - I'd hate to think you got to Nov to find out esp with Xmas just around the corner then!!

I'd also suggest looking into your current work situation and see if working more or less hours leaves you any better off when coupled with tax credits and childcare payments!! Make sure you're doing things the way you come out best off.

Sorry I can't be more help offering you things. You'd be welcome to anything do has outgrown but given I have a boy the same age as your dd, i doubt it'd be much good to you.