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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know what to do next

108 replies

tryharder100 · 18/08/2015 21:48

Really struggling to make ends meet.

My breaking point today was my daughters shoes rubbing and making her foot bleed due to being too small.

I have really decluttered in the last month and sold everything that is not essential to get us by but getting going back to school stuff has cleared me out again.

I need to come up with a plan for long term as can't go on like this but does anyone know if I could just walk into a clothes bank or something similar to get me by or if I would need to be referred and how do I do that?

Hate the thought of taking that help away from someone in more need than me but maybe need to shallow my pride a bit as clearly it's not helping my kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
tryharder100 · 19/08/2015 22:04

Thanks so much hippychick and catthief I have sent you a pm .

my son wears a size 2 now xx

OP posts:
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 19/08/2015 22:12

Before I parcel up the brown ones, I have just uncovered the boots from the car. I was given the shoes today, in a box of goodies for ds. But they are too small. They are all a 7.
Let me know which you would like?
Both purple leather, from clarkes.
(Sorry, brown boots weren't clarkes, but they are really nice!)
As I said, the shoes are a bit scruffy, but wearable.
The boots are better condition. The fur is only a trim, not a lining. Nice winter boots.

To not know what to do next
To not know what to do next
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 19/08/2015 22:12

Goodie box for dd, not ds...

Original poster
tryharder100 · 19/08/2015 22:22

I have pm you thank you, my daughter will love the fur. she loves girly things xx

OP posts:
Original poster
tryharder100 · 20/08/2015 09:06

so on my list of things to do today I have ring energy company about warm home energy discount ,look on freecycle, find out about food banks. Thank you for everyone's ideas you have helped me more than you know.

OP posts:
RavioliOnToast · 20/08/2015 09:08

thinking of you today try harder Smile

RavioliOnToast · 20/08/2015 09:10

also, this may be worth a read if you haven't already, regarding warm home discount. AFAIK you don't need to apply for it, it's done automatically through the benefits you receive.

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/08/2015 09:12

I thin you have to contact them for it.

lavent · 20/08/2015 09:25

You do need to apply - it's pensioners that get it automatically Smile

Original poster
tryharder100 · 20/08/2015 13:41

I have rang energy company and I don't qualify for warm home discount.

I have booked an appointment with CAB to go through things and hopefully get referred to food bank. its not for a few weeks but I'm happy it's sorted.

I also got offered a training kit for football for me son on free cycle so he will be overjoyed.

OP posts:
lavent · 20/08/2015 13:55

If you're struggling for food now the GP can issue a foodbank voucher straight away - don't wait weeks!

sadwidow28 · 20/08/2015 14:28

tryharder

Have a look at this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2390780-to-wonder-what-the-fuck-to-do-now-Immediate-financial-problem?pg=21

The OP was in dire straits - no money for nappies - when she first started it, but with the help and advice from Mumsnetters she has started to crawl out from a bleak situation.

I regularly collated all the advice (tasks) that were suggested by Mumsnetters and she has started to steadily work through them. See Page 21 for the latest collation of suggestions and links to resolve the cash flow problem.

See page 22 for a collation of all the cheap meal suggestions.

Collating the advice quite regularly meant that the OP could look at a single post and work her way through (although she would respond to posters as well).

sadwidow28 · 20/08/2015 14:32

Here is the link for local food banks: www.trusselltrust.org/map

It will explain the referral system used in your locality.

Original poster
tryharder100 · 20/08/2015 14:43

Thank you for the link to that post will definitely have a look.

I have looked at the food bank page previously and my closest is about a 20 min bus journey so not too bad.

Thanks

OP posts:
sadwidow28 · 20/08/2015 15:07

Okay, another thing to do is to check that you are receiving all benefits. Use this link:

www.turn2us.org.uk/

The OP of the other thread was advised to use it and realised that she hasn't received any benefit for her 2yr old DD even though she gave a copy of the birth certificate to LA as soon as she registered the birth.

But that thread is built up of loads of MN advice - hence the need to collate into single posts to help others in the same position.

Original poster
tryharder100 · 20/08/2015 16:09

Thank you sadwidow that's really helpful. I have checked benefits on that link and am not entitled to anything else.

I will definitely be sending the template of bank charges to the bank though, I am still reading the thread on the link.

Thank you for taking the time to provide it x

OP posts:
Lurkedforever1 · 20/08/2015 16:13

Depending how far you are from aldi and places like b&m for cheap stuff, it can sometimes be cheaper to do a bulk shop of heavy stuff and get a taxi every month or so, then walk for fresh stuff weekly, than using a bus/walking every week to somewhere like asda.
I've not got any toddler stuff, but if you've got an older girl I've got stuff. Dd is 11 and tall, but lots of pjs/ pants are age 8 and worn as crops, and just grown out of a load of age 7 shorts.
Does your local church know your situation? Ours does collections of toys, clothes etc and dishes them out ( with advice from other community groups so not just congregation). And only organisers know who recipients are too.

Original poster
tryharder100 · 20/08/2015 16:21

Aldi is about 30 min walk, last time I went I wasn't very organised and didn't take carrier bags so this time will remember.

have a b and m close too, never thought about shopping there for food, will take a look.

I don't have an older girl just 8 year boy, thank you for your offer though I really appreciate it. I have checked with the church and they don't offer anything. xx

OP posts:
RavioliOnToast · 20/08/2015 17:26

I agree with aldi op, I've been today for my shop and spent £50 but compared it on moneysupermarket I think it is and it would have been £80-90 elsewhere. it's not usually that expensive but I ran out of all the 'big' stuff at once, nappies wipes and washing powder Sad

sadwidow28 · 20/08/2015 19:45

Definitely use Lidl or Aldi for shopping if you can. I am lucky in that I have an Aldi close to both my homes - and I also drive.

I did food shops for the OP on the other thread and even with myHermes postage it was 40% cheaper than if I had organised shopping on-line.

I can send 15kg via myHermes for £9.98 - far cheaper than Royal Mail.

So if anyone is thinking about posting to this OP, please look up www.myhermes.co.uk/ Once you are over 1kg it is cheaper than Royal Mail. You can have your parcel collected from your home (or a safe space) or you can use a myHermes drop-off shop. It is delivered to the recipient's door (or a near neighbour). It is insured up to £50 and fully trackable on line.

No- I don't work for myHermes Grin

I have used that courier for my eBay transactions for over 4 years.

Befuddled81 · 20/08/2015 19:49

Might be worth speaking to the school as where I live they have a second hand uniform store and if you are hard up they allow you to have them free or make a donation at a later date. Food banks are fantastic and you shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed, it sounds to me like you are making great choices financially you are just hindered by past problems you now have no control over x

velvetelvis · 20/08/2015 20:25

Hi tryharder
I have a few pairs of size 7 shoes if you are needing any more. I probably have clothes in 2-3 and 3-4 as well. If there's any particular things you need then please let me know, I'd be happy to help Smile

Original poster
tryharder100 · 20/08/2015 21:31

Thank you velvetelvis.

My son's school has recently stopped selling the uniform and now only available from a school shop, they are insisting on jumpers and pe kit with logos but so expensive he will just have to have plain. I hate doing it as I feel like he's the odd one out.

I am definitely going to try aldi this weekend. take the kids for a walk and go to the park on the way. xx

OP posts:
smink · 20/08/2015 23:34

Don't worry he won't be! My kids school.has logo.uniform and very few kids wear it.
Mine have one logo top for outings and the rest of the time just plain. He'll be fine and I am sure there will be other kids.

sadwidow28 · 21/08/2015 01:10

I learned a lot by working on the other thread with Margaritte....

There is a scheme run by Tesco to allow parents to take advantage of the back-to-school wear - even if the school requires a logo.

www.clothingattesco.com/icat/embschoolwear?utm_source=dotcom&utm_medium=hubpage&utm_campaign=bts2015

The school agrees for the logo to be copied and embroidered by Tesco and the school gets a donation for every item of clothing purchased.