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Original poster

To think that the whole 'naughty step' concept is tosh

112 replies

mrsruffallo · 18/08/2015 20:46

It is isn't it? Does anyone even keep it up? Naughty step, naughty corner, the whole concept seems wrong somehow. Yet it is always the first thing advised by many self proclaimed parenting experts. Don't you think it's time we called them on it?

OP posts:
FoulsomeAndMaggotwise · 18/08/2015 20:50

I don't like it. It feels a bit too shameful, like being made to wear a dunce hat. I'm sure it works but I wouldn't use the technique on my children.

AlphabetStew · 18/08/2015 20:51

I agree. I've never been a fan. I don't like any 'banishment' forms of punishment.

jeronimoh · 18/08/2015 20:52

It only works with children who would have complied anyway.

CharleyDavidson · 18/08/2015 20:54

We used the bottom step of the stairs as the 'step' for years. But instead of a punishment, it was a quiet place to calm down. Once the girls were old enough to understand 'you can come back when you have calmed down' then we stopped any set time limit.

Temper tantrums, arguments or plain stroppy behavious all meant they went to sit on the step to calm down.

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 18/08/2015 20:54

Absolutely Foulsome. I am sure some families are happy with it but I am not sure what it teaches young children.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsruffallo · 18/08/2015 20:56

jeronmiah- that's exactly what I have observed!

OP posts:
cansu · 18/08/2015 20:56

I found it quite useful with dd when she was around 3 or 4. It was a way of showing her that her behaviour was not acceptable and also gave me space to breathe and not over react. I remember using it outside a shop once and it worked like a charm. It may not of course work with all children, but it certainly beats shouting, empty threats and over reactions. I read on here parents who have taken their children's toys, stopped them attending days out and all sorts. Maybe they are pushed into this as their children have pushed them over the edge. I think like all parenting stuff, it depends on the child and the parent. It may not suit you OP but that doesn't mean it's terrible.

morelikeguidelines · 18/08/2015 20:57

I don't agree with it at all. It comes from the same concept "family" as smacking in my book.

SpendSpendSpend · 18/08/2015 20:57

I use the naughty step.

I think whether it works depends on mant factors. The naughty step doesnt work if...

You start the naughty step too late
You threaten it, but only carry the threat out occasionally
You allow your child to get off the naughty step before the time is up
You use the naughty step for every little thing

Original poster
mrsruffallo · 18/08/2015 20:59

How do you keep them on the naughty step when they keep getting up?

OP posts:
alicemalice · 18/08/2015 21:00

Mine would never sit on it - just used to get up, no matter how many times I put her on it.

rollmeover · 18/08/2015 21:04

The naughty step is nothing like smacking and how offensive to suggest it does.

Fair enough dont use it if you dont like it.

I know lots (most?) parents who give their child an option of going somewhere quiet to calm down and think about what they have done. When my DD was 3 she could have some fairly awesome tantrums and to get her to sit somewhere else would give us BOTH a chance to calm down.

Its not the only behaviour technique I use, but I find it very effective.

TheFormidableMrsC · 18/08/2015 21:05

It works for me....

redexpat · 18/08/2015 21:05

Works a treat with DS aged 3. We call it the time out chair though. He gets a clear warning, and have only had to do it about 5 times. He kept getting back up at the start, so I put him back on, and on and on and on for about 15 minutes before he gave up and stayed there.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 18/08/2015 21:07

My son would never stay on the naughty step. I would send him back and back and back until the two minutes had been done, but it was exhausting.

The same child as a teenager was sent to his room and the next thing was shimmying down the drainpipe!

cosmicglittergirl · 18/08/2015 21:07

Not a fan, agree it's like shaming, I can't imagine children always understand why they are on it. I know some people swear by it, but I would never employ it.

rollmeover · 18/08/2015 21:08

You keep taking them back over and over until they stay. It might take 20, 30 times. The next time it might be 10, the next time 5.

For some children it might not work but I think if you work at it, with most it will.

BackInTheRealWorld · 18/08/2015 21:09

Worked great with my youngest. If she got in a grump she would stomp off and take herself there. She used to like sitting there for a few minutes all arms folded and scowling then she would come back happy as Larry!

DeandraReynolds · 18/08/2015 21:10

Didn't call it the "naughty" step but we did use the step very successfully when DS was 2-3.

It's just an easy immediate sanction, isn't it? Alternatively people might remove a toy or a treat, no ice cream or whatever. Ideally I'd always go for a logical/natural consequence but sometimes you just need to say "if you do that again you will have to go and sit on the step".

FreudiansSlipper · 18/08/2015 21:10

Not something I used and a nursery that I at first really likes I choose not to send ds there as they used the naughty step

Agree it feels shaming. I am not keen on many things supernanny has promoted and dislike the way she has shamed families on TV gone off topic a little

RJnomaaaaaargh · 18/08/2015 21:12

It's got good solid principles in child psychology but it's often misused - not a "naughty" step! It's a time out area - the idea is about letting the child have space without stimulation to control their own reactions, it's not supposed to be a punishment, you don't look for apologies or dwell on what they did wrong, you offer a chance to get it right immediately after so that you can tell them something positive, etc etc. it makes me weep when it's used as a pumishment.

And like anything else, one solution will not work for every child.

RJnomaaaaaargh · 18/08/2015 21:13

Yes back!

UngratefulMoo · 18/08/2015 21:15

I think it's not about the step/ corner per se but more about acknowledging a consequence for bad behaviour and, as PPs have said, allowing the child some space to calm down. If you have another technique that works then fantastic. I don't think it's supposed to be a catch all but perhaps is sometimes presented as that.

hufflebottom · 18/08/2015 21:17

Rather than it being a naughty step its a time out step. Now the time out spot as we moved into a flat and have no step.

Dd sits there to calm down. I give her a pillow she can do as she wishes with. She used to chuck it at the front door, she now just lies down on the spot and cuddles it, telling it how mean mummy is.

CustardOmlet · 18/08/2015 21:26

Working a treat for us so far, but rather than it being "naughty step" it's more like time out, where DS goes to remove him from what ever stimulus has wound him up. He's too young for the 2minute thing, he just needs to calm down, we explain why he's there, kiss and cuddle then move on.

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