To think that this is a cheek?

[Wellandtrulybaffled]

I'm keeping details vague in the hope not to out myself. There's a bit of a backstory about this relative and me finding her overbearing and interfering.

I've recently had a baby, we're talking weeks old. A close relatives dd has just found out that she's the same number of weeks pregnant.

We bought new baby things and my in laws bought a travel system for the baby. The babies things weren't overly expensive but not cheap (for us) in that we saved up for what we wanted but we could afford it iyswim.

Close relative has been very sneery about the baby things being new.

Close relative has phoned me and has apparently offered her dd our babies things including the travel system. Bearing in mind our baby won't even be one when theirs is born. She's told me she'd be willing to buy the travel system but that it would be nice if we gave it to them as a gift. She also said that if I clean up the Moses basket to give then they won't even know that it's not new. She then said something along the lines of she supposes there'll be other things we can pass on too.

Now of course we would be happy to pass some things on. But, our baby will still be using the travel system, the baby is still currently sleeping in the basket and although it won't be being used in 8 months time it feels really grabby besides the fact that we haven't even discussed whether we will be keeping things for any potential next baby.

When I pointed out to relative that our baby will still be using the travel system she got really arsey.

I literally don't know what to think.

Am I wrong to think that this is madness?

the sheer brass neck of some people!!

No of course not and I'd have told the 'close relative' that she has no right to go offering your belongings. Especially baby items, which can hold incredible sentimental value for some.

I would ring back and say actually no we're keeping all of the items.

Totally bizarre. Of course don't give them anything you don't want to! Just say you're still using it and will be keeping it in case you have another. That's very very rude and weird of your relative.

no is a complete sentence. End of.

I'd just say that I wasn't planning on getting rid of anything at the moment. But then our plans were to have two and I wouldn't have wanted to pass on anything until no2 had finished using it all.

The travel system will last a lot longer than a year, I assume, otherwise you'll have to buy another pushchair in due course. Seems mad to me.

Unbelievable cheek!
Just say no

YANBU, this is ridiculous! Congratulations on your new baby

Yes - I would simply say "Actually we're not sure what we'll be passing on to who yet."

It sounds like the person considers themselves to be entitled to your stuff! It's rude, grabby and completely inconsiderate x 1000

Definitely don't hand anything over that you are not totally happy to see go. With this sort of disgustingly entitled attitude, I would bet my bottom dollar you would never see it again if, for example, you were pregnant again with another child and requested the item back.

Pigeon - I would replace 'I wasn't planning on' with 'i'm not going to' or they will think there is wiggle room.

YANBU!
How cheeky!
I hope you tell them to bugger off

We had a similar situation. We bought an ERF car seat when DD was 9 months (much earlier than we needed to) because we were pressured to give the first stage car seat to the supposedly poor but have plenty of cash to spend on the things they want relatives. I wish we hadn't.

YADNBU - how incredibly rude and presumptuous! You'd be well within your rights to tell her to jog on.

Wow. That would be a no!

I am also willing to bet that if this close relative hadn't been so sneery before apparently taking ownership of your things and had asked you nicely, you would have happily leant some stuff to her dd.

'Good heavens, these aren't your things to offer to other people!'

Silly moo. (her obviously, not you)

I would absolutely tell the cheeky bitch to fuck off. Seriously, how dare she?! I know people like this, and I find the entitlement jawdropping.

It's none of her bloody business what you plan to do with YOUR DC's things.

For some people who have more money than sense it is the norm to pass things on, and they dont always understand that others may have different attitudes, different budgets, and/or dont understand how much things cost.

Just say of course we will get them a present when the baby arrives but we wont be lending or passing on our things. If pressed further you can say these things are not yours to give, and i dont wish to discuss it further.

Have you been given anything hideous that you pass on as a token?

I can understand her thinking that there might be a few clothes going, but to ask for the pushchair, that baby will still be in, I thought perhaps she just hadn't clicked on about the age gap but when I pointed it out she got really snippy.

'But we might have another? Sorry we are keeping everything for now. I've heard there are some amazing NCT sales though'.

Very rude of her.

You are in no way BU. She is barmy.

I actually think it's really important that you don't give this relative a thing, not so much as a vest. You are in a lose lose situation with someone this cheeky, if you give them something it will not be enough to them and they will just expect more "No Mary we are keeping all baby things for any future siblings" and stick to it. Cheeky mare

Don't get into discussions with her so that she has the opportunity to be snippy.

How rude!

Wonder what her daughter thinks of it?!