To think putting a baby boy in pink is a little odd?

[Reachout]

Hi, this post isn't to point fingers, I just genuinely want to know if I'm the only one who thinks like this.

A friend of mine is putting her newborn baby boy in his sisters old sleepsuites etc and says it's just newborn clothing, why does it matter.
I'm sorry but I wouldn't even think of putting a boy in girls things, and I don't just mean 'pink', I mean properly girly.

AIBU? I can't see why you'd do it, and she isn't strapped for cash by any stretch of the imagination. It just doesn't sit right with me.

yabu - can't see the problem.

Nope that's an opinion, ct.

Otherwise you'd be stomping on the LGBT movement with a great big boot.

Campaigner: "Damien invited a friend from work to his forthcoming wedding to Adam. A week later, he was called into the manager's office and fired. He was told his lifestyle was inappropriate. This was homophobic discrimination!"
Audience: oi, how dare you insult his ex-employer like that?!
Campaigner: because they are?

In this case, the OP is purporting to think boy babies in pink clothes are inappropriate. I hafta say here, these people never seem to turn up in support at the pride parades.

Which is why many MNers, myself included, think it's indicative of latent homophobia. It usually is.

It's the same vein as 'you can't be gay because people will be nasty to you* although it's a weak analogy but it's about society causing the harm by being uncomfortable about something inherently harmless and benign.

Are people actually suggesting that the OP is homophobic because she finds it a bit odd that rather than her friend buy new clothes for her baby DS, she dresses him in girly hand me downs?!

Really??

Well, I also think it's odd, and live a life with lots of friends and a brother who are gay, and could not be in more support of them.

What an absolutely ridiculous thing to say.

"I don't see any more genderisation now than when I was a baby/small child everyone still wore gender specific clothes, played with gender specific toys. "

Really? I wonder are you much younger than me (I'm 43 today, happy birthday to me :) ) or were there strong regional variations or something? The difference as far as I can see is really striking.

From memory/old photos, when I was very young I wore a lot of red, brown, navy, green, blue, wine, orange, and boys wore similar colours. Some of the clothes I wore were gender-specific (dresses, skirts, pinafores) but none of them were pink, a lot of the clothes were pretty generic (jeans, trousers, velour tops, jumpers, shorts, t-shirts), in some cases hand me downs from my male cousin. I played with some gender-specific toys (dolls) but most of my toys were things like Lego, board games, puzzles, none of which were gendered. I don't think I was particularly unusual, it was the same for the other kids on our road and at school.

Well, I'm actually MNing in between cleaning behind the back of the fridge, so if you want a fight, could we make it tomorrow?

At the moment, you feel I'm expressing the "wrong sort" of opinion, then? "Everyone's entitled to an opinion, except people who disagree with me", eh?

First photo I found on my computer from 1979ish, I am wearing a cream aran sweater and brown trousers, my sister is wearing an aran cardigan, a green jumper, and a kilt. I think only the kilt is kind of gendered and would not be if we were Scottish. :)

Leedy I have some old baby knitting patterns. You couldn't be further away from a modern Next in regard to the colours and styles shown as suitable for both sexes.

There is nothing wrong with boys in pink (my adult DS and my DH wear pink shirts regularly), but I am glad my DS never asked to go out dressed in a princess dress, it would not have sat comfortably with me. And I don't like boys with long girly hair. I know, I know, unreasonable, but I just don't like it!

I live on the border of 3 other European countries and in none of them the issue that strangers don't immediately know what genitals a baby has, has never come up. Old ladies in supermarkets have never made any assumptions about baby DD's sex. They always ask if it's a boy or girl, whether she's dressed in pink and frills, or blue with tractors.

And I often buy toddler DS girl clothes - he's skinny and girl clothes are cut slimmer. Now why would, according to manufacturers, a toddler girl need to show her figure in tighter clothing is another issue..

We have a lovely old photo of my late Grandad, he was born in 1912 and he was about 3 in the photo. He was most definitely wearing a dress as I believe all toddlers did back then.

BooChunky, exactly, utterly ludicrous.

My own uncle is gay and I support and love him to bits. Like usual, some Mumsnetters taking things too far

Oh and for the record, I'd think having a lesbian daughter would come as more of a shock than a gay son. That may be sexist, but it's my initial, truthful reaction.

Hmm, though then Itsmine you were a baby in the 60s, which may have been slightly different again.

I do also think that in my baby days it was less likely for girl babies to wear pink and frills (Itsmine's frilly childhood notwithstanding :) ), so the likelihood of a she-baby having super-pink hand-me-downs to pass on to a brother was a lot lower.

Also I can't imagine anywhere that the toy thing wasn't strikingly different to today. Yes, kids in the 60s/70s played with dolls/Action Man, but there wasn't special girl Lego, or separate pink girl versions of common toys like cash register/shop, activity centre, wendy house, blocks, etc. etc., all of which are available in toy shops now.

dotdot, we too have a lovely photo of my late Grandad in a frock. :)

Erm. "I can't be homophobic because my uncle is."

Shit argument. Where do you want to start with that one.

Besides, cross dressing is not really something that is common amongst gay men. Its more of a transgender thing. And you DO sound transphobic if you have a problem with gendered clothing being worn by the 'wrong' gender.

"I think in my baby days boys in pink and frills would have been as unusual as present day"

You're a little younger than me. And in my day it would have been just as unusual for a girl to be in pink and frills (except perhaps one party dress). Day to day clothes were usually far more unisex, and hand-me-downs ubiquitous.

I do remember the velour tops though. Ours (handed through DC of both sexes) were turquoise. I remember a lot of brown and red clothes.

I loved my velour tops! My sister and I had matching ones at one stage - mine was wine and beige, hers was forest green and beige.

Okay, then, one day, one gentleman spotted a toddler DS with a handbag, being like Mummy, and after telling me he shouldn't (and being told I thought it was fine), he said, ah well, he will fit in the Royal Navy later, then. What was his train of thought then?

It seemed a lot like he was following "boy using ladies things = effeminate" and "effeminate man=gay" to me. What do you think he was thinking then?

Also I'm sure before you could find out the sex at a scan there just weren't so many pink/blue divided clothes in shops.

All my baby clothes seem to have been brown/green/yellow.

RedToothbrush thank you, you saved me a job. I've been working on a post trying to gently explain that responding to a post mentioning LBGT by only focusing on the G doesn't prove one's ally-status.

OP, are you my MIL?!

My DD wore all her big brothers clothes.

My DS1 loved pink as a toddler and wore pink quite a lot.

DS1 also had a baby doll and a buggy for her.

DS2 wore pink a lot (DD's old things) and would only answer to the feminine version of his name for a while.

MIL clutched her pearls and reached for the smelling salts almost constantly. So far none of my dcs show signs of mental trauma or of being gay. Not that being gay would bother us as DH and I both have a gay brother it bothers my MIL though