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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think putting a baby boy in pink is a little odd?

313 replies

Reachout · 17/08/2015 11:09

Hi, this post isn't to point fingers, I just genuinely want to know if I'm the only one who thinks like this.

A friend of mine is putting her newborn baby boy in his sisters old sleepsuites etc and says it's just newborn clothing, why does it matter.
I'm sorry but I wouldn't even think of putting a boy in girls things, and I don't just mean 'pink', I mean properly girly.

AIBU? I can't see why you'd do it, and she isn't strapped for cash by any stretch of the imagination. It just doesn't sit right with me.

OP posts:
LavenderLeigh · 17/08/2015 21:34

Well, that is totally different from what you originally said, lighthouse, which was thT boys should wear blue and girls should wear pink.
Now you say boys should wear "boys" clothes and girls should wear "girls" clothes.
Okay.
So you think boy could wear blue dungarees, but not pink ones, but a girl could not wear either, because dungarees are boys clothes, right?
And a girl can wear a pink dress but not a blue one and a boy can't wear either. And a girl can't wear a pink snowsuit, because that's based on trousers too, which are boys clothing. And really, she shouldn't be in a sleepsuit either, no matter what colour, because it's another variant of trousers.

nope, that's all nonsense to me

prettybird · 17/08/2015 21:38

What about a pink kilt? Wink

Where does that fit? Confused

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 17/08/2015 21:40

Society whether we like it or not does determine what is masculine/feminine to wear

Thankfully, over years, 'Society' has learned its lessons.

prettybird · 17/08/2015 21:49

It would appear not enough , if some of the posts on here are anything to go by Sad

Allisgood1 · 17/08/2015 21:56

Is this for real or does school really need to hurry up and start??

I don't know where to start. YABU is probably enough as I'm sure any explanation will be swiftly ignored.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 17/08/2015 21:58

No, you're right, PrettyBird. I did have a long post prepared, but deleted it. All to do with the Suffrage movement, how far we've come along, being allowed to wear trousers and be permitted to vote, etc, etc.
But at the root of it all, the OP asked, was he/she unreasonable to ask if his/her friend was being silly to dress the infant boy in pink clothes.
And of course the resounding answer would have to be YES, OP, you are being unreasonable. The infant boy could not give a single shiny shit about what he is dressed in.

prettybird · 17/08/2015 22:03

I did mention wondering what the point of women's suffrage in an earlier post Wink

Motortrader · 17/08/2015 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Kennington · 17/08/2015 22:08

Eh what are girls and boys clothes exactly?
A dress fine but males where versions of a skirt in Scotland and in the Mid East etc. I almost without exception wear trousers and boots and shorts.
Crystals and pink are not girls only. They are just adornments to some peoples taste. This is madness and a Disney americanised view of males and females.

Kennington · 17/08/2015 22:09

wear- goes off embarrassed

23jumpstreet · 17/08/2015 22:18

Mabey she haven't got the money for new ones why does it matter if the baby's clean and warm.

prettybird · 17/08/2015 22:27

The OP's complaint was that the mother could afford to get new more gender appropriate Hmm clothes but chose not to Hmm

Most Some of the "YABU" posters have argued that the mother was right not to give in to the conspicuous consumption and gender categorisation of modern day society which makes you wonder what has happened to the Women's Liberation/Feminist Movement Wink

toddlerlife · 17/08/2015 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 17/08/2015 22:53

Then go the fuck back to 1923 where you belong

She doesn't belong in 1923. Back then most under 4/5's spent their days hanging around wearing frocks great big frilly annoying usually pale pink or white frocks. Boys as well as girls

loveareadingthanks · 18/08/2015 00:19

That's true. I have a photo of my Dad (who was born in 1929) wearing a lovely frilly white dress when he was 1. It was normal then.

brokenhearted55a · 18/08/2015 00:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coffee1234 · 18/08/2015 03:22

OP - I could have been your friend!

I have had a DS after 3 DDs with a small age gap between DC3 and DC4. We moved around a lot between DD2 and DD3 and there's quite a big age gap so I gave away most of my baby clothes before DD3. This meant that most of her clothes were new. So, when I was pregnant with DS my first reaction was that I was grateful not have to get loads of baby clothes on top of PT work, a nearly 1 year old and two older girls.

A few weeks before he was born I washed and sorted the old baby clothes into age and season related piles and bought anything I thought was still needed. The new stuff was in "boys' colours", the old a mixture although some was (OMG) pink and had 'girly' patterns.

After he was born I then dressed him in whatever was clean and comfortable and weather appropriate. He spewed a lot and did massive breastfed poos so a few outfits a day was the norm - sometimes his clothes were pink, sometimes not. I genuinely thought that being dressed in accordance to the weather and (mainly) clean was the important, I hadn't realised his masculinity was being threatened every time I put him in clothes that had flowers and hearts on them.

I didn't realise that this was "odd" behaviour. We could have afforded new clothes but it seemed daft to me to replace all of the perfectly good clothes I had with ones in another colour. Replacing clothes would have meant traipsing through shops with a wriggly 1 year old. Someone pointed out that supermarket clothes are cheap and convenient and maybe they're of better quality in the UK but here they're not as soft or comfortable as the clothes I already had.

Last time I checked he still had a penis and strangely has no recollection at all of spending his first 6 months in a range of different coloured clothing.

textfan · 18/08/2015 04:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maxxytoe · 18/08/2015 06:52

Obviously , it's none of your business what she dresses her kids in.
Though I've never seen a baby boy in a pink baby gro or typical girly clothes . I've only heard of this happen on mumsnet.

BooChunky · 18/08/2015 08:09

Wow Textfan, leave some exclamation marks for the rest of us.

I can't believe how bizarre this thread has become.

insanityscatching · 18/08/2015 09:19

I remember dd aged 5 being absolutely delighted that someone bought her a nightie because up to that point she had worn her brother's hand me down pyjamas and I had never thought about buying anything else new just because she was a girl.
Likewise ds wore pink sleepsuits and vests because I had them in although if planning to go out I'd generally make sure the sleepsuit was more gender neutral but occasionally he was spotted out and about in pink. Can't say anybody commented and it wouldn't have made any difference if they did tbh as in our family hand me downs got passed around and worn whatever sex the baby born.

Cherryblossomsinspring · 18/08/2015 09:52

Oh I use my ds's clothes for dd. Especially at home. She did get buckets of girls hand me downs and gifts too though so I'm not short of girls clothing. I've no problem with 'boys' and 'girls' clothes being used for either. I guess when out in about it helps not to confuse everyone about whether it's a boy or girl, but at the same time, does it really matter?

MitzyLeFrouf · 18/08/2015 10:35

I can't believe how bizarre this thread has become.

Become? The opening post seemed pretty bizarre to me.

00100001 · 18/08/2015 10:41

Do you think we've lost the OP? :(

IceBeing · 18/08/2015 12:21

This is very simple.

If it was all just harmless fun to have pink for girls and blue for boys and they were considered different but equal then I would have no problem with it.

But the equality is simply not there. The way you can tell that it isn't there, is that it is fine for girls to wear boy brand things and everything from not okay to humiliating, shameful, worrying, discomforting, exceptional, unusual for boys to wear girl brand things.

There was a primary aged boy who wore a skirt to school that made the national news recently mostly relating how very very BRAVE he was - not so much making the national news if a girl wears trousers to school. That's how mindblowingly unequal it is.

Being branded girl is very VERY clearly inferior to being branded boy.

This inequality will follow people through their early years where nursery workers, teachers and of course parents have different expectations of male and female children. These expectations become self-fulfilled prophecies with girls ending up primarily interested in caring and nurturing roles in life while boys are far more diverse in their primary interests (though of course definitely NOT nurturing or caring roles).

This harms everyone in society from the rare men that want to work in nursery care to the women in science and literally everyone in between.

So do bear in mind that every time you dress your baby girl in clothes you would never dress your baby boy in, that what you are basically saying is that you are perfectly okay with those children having their life choices limited by sexism.