To find the school hols REALLY hard?

[Shoegal0305]

7 weeks of desperately trying to find free things to do is far too much! Skint 100% of the time. Lone parent. Only family I have live 40 miles away and my car is 16 years old so don't take it out of the town I live in for fear of it breaking down! My DS does a lot of sporting stuff early morning and later evening but during the day it's so hard to find stuff to do and it seems everyone and their dog are off on 'family' days and/or abroad!!!

[MrsToddsShortcut]

The thing with lots of people being around, is that often, as a lone parent, you can kind of get overlooked.

If you have a partner/DH whatever, it can sometimes matter less if you don't see people that often, as you have instant company at home. So if you and your kids go out for the day, (assuming it's not special family time) it probably wouldn't occur to you to invite your lone parent mate and their kids.

Not because you don't care, but because it just doesn't cross your mind. When most people make those sort of plans, they don't always do a mental scan to see who else they can invite - why would they really? My friends are lovely people who love me and my kids, and are happy to spend time with me and the kids, but they don't always think of us iyswim.

I have a lovely friend who I see pretty regularly, but it tends to be when her DH is working as that is when she is on her own with the kids, and wants/needs some company. I do understand that, but it doesn't seem to occur to her that for single parents, it's like that all the bloody time!

Would you be able to ring round a few good friends and explain how you feel? Say that you and DS are going stir crazy and can you meet up for the day? (although I do realise that after the 3rd time someone says "sorry, we're doing family stuff" you lose the impetus to phone)

[MrsToddsShortcut]

Sorry, just read that back and it sounded quite whiney! Wasn't really meant too..

[Shoegal0305]

MrsTodds don't be silly it doesn't sound whiney at all it describes the situation perfectly. I do lose the urge to call/text after a series of knock backs it does become harder. I would say I have a small handful of really close friends, lots of acquaintances but only a few 'true' friends. Of those, ones DS is at uni so although she welcomes my DS it's not an option to do 'teen' things with her. My other close friend is a single parent but she has family nearby, plus she has a lot of other friends who's circle I'm not in. Plus (this is gonna sound awful and don't mean it as it probably reads!!!) she is on a lower income than me so gets quite a lot of help (quite rightly that isn't my point lol!) so we actually sat down once and worked it out she is much better off than me! Hence she is planning a holiday next year with another friend but I wasn't invited (probably as she knows o couldn't afford it?). Another of my friends lives 50 miles away and she on a family holiday abroad. They, again, are quite comfortable financially, two new cars, detached house, regular hols etc so again I'm not included in a lot of things.

We are going to give the geocaching another go wish us luck lol xx

[Shoegal0305]

Well........ Geocaching was a disaster!!! Lol I'm Laughing now but was nearly crying earlier!!! Tips for a newbie????

Found the right spot. Not sure how to read the compass correctly or the app compass so spent half an hour in a bramble bush sifting through rubbish! Gave up and came home but now feel I don't want to be defeated!! Tips very welcome!!! X

[Benllech]

I don't know if you have seen this website but there's lots of ideas on there that maybe helpful to you.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/school-holiday-deals

Can his dad not pay for a week or two at a holiday camp for him? Worth asking and also question why he treated himself to a holiday and not his son? I think you need to question people every time they treat you badly, it might make them think twice about letting you down next time.

Are you receiving everything you are entitled to benefits wise? Working/ Child tax credit etc?

[Shoegal0305]

Hi Ben yes I've triple checked my entitlements I don't qualify for working tax credit! Even tho I earn under £18k which I don't think is a high household income! I get tax credits which help but some of my friends seem to get weekly what I get monthly?!

His dad often goes away without DS. He is very selfish and I've given up battling with him after 9 years it's not worth it. If I questioned him the only person it would bother would be me unfortunately as he really doesn't bother. He pays maintenance so I know I'm luckier than a lot of folk. I'm hoping he is going to have DS for a while towards the end of the hols. X