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AIBU?

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Original poster

No screen use during car journeys, am I being old fashioned?

325 replies

midnightvelvetPart2 · 15/08/2015 09:35

I do not let our DC's (9 & 6) play on screens during car journeys but I'm wondering whether I'm being a little outdated? :) they have regular screen time at home & if we are stationary in traffic jams then they can use them, but if we are just driving along then they are not allowed. I'm talking tablets/DS/handheld gaming things.

I used to get carsick to the point of vomiting if I ever tried to read a book in a car, so I wasn't allowed & this may be influencing it. DS1 used to get carsick but he hasn't been in 4 years.

I'm doubting myself now as we drove back from holiday yesterday & it was a journey of 4 hours. My dad phoned, the kids complained about the journey & that they were bored & he said well they can play on their tablets etc but when I said they weren't allowed to he was a bit taken aback. We play I Spy & Sausage etc & have music & audiobooks on so its not a silent car, DS2 usually sleeps at some point.

What does everyone do?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 15/08/2015 14:11

I'd treat a long car or train journey the same as I would a flight.

On a flight we watch films, play games, listen to music, watch TV programmes. We don't generally make children sit inactive getting bored.

Why is a longer car or train journey any different?

Or would you ban screen use on a plane too?

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 15/08/2015 14:16

We've had some really bonding times as a family on long car journeys - even with big traffic jams etc, there's a feeling we got through it together.

this

we always get lost, wherever we go. There's always at least one MASSIVE row. But there are usually some lolz to be had. Plus you generally find out something about someone- good or shit

we do really looooong journeys as well- London- middle of France, Germany

music helps (tho son normally listens to his ipod. And who can blame him)

Andrewofgg · 15/08/2015 14:17

Or would you ban screen use on a plane too?

Unless on silent - I sure would. But that's for the protection of other passengers. In a car it's different, it's whatever does not distract the driver and keeps the DCs happy.

FindoGask · 15/08/2015 14:19

Funnily enough, I was thinking that on planes we have loaded up films on the laptop for the children (8 and 5). Partly because travel sickness isn't so much of an issue, and partly because planes feel more cramped and restricted - I worry about disturbing nearby passengers so I try to ensure the children are as mute and compliant as possible by feeding them a constant stream of digital entertainment and all manner of unsuitable snacks :parent of the year:

starlight2007 · 15/08/2015 14:21

Oh if my DS is banned from his DS..I make sure it is reinstated before a long journey..

He knows if he feels sick it needs to go off.

It stops hours of are we nearly there yet.

fearandloathinginambridge · 15/08/2015 14:21

On a long car journey a tablet or other device is one item in the arsenal. It doesn't rule out all other options including sitting quietly and staring out the window for a couple of hours. Just because you put a screen in the hands of a child doesn't mean they are going to be glued to it the entire time. Screens don't rip open your head and suck out all the intelligence.

SoupDragon · 15/08/2015 14:23

Unless on silent - I sure would

I wouldn't. I would buy headphones.

Andrewofgg · 15/08/2015 14:29

SoupDragon Even the most expensive noise-cancelling headphones are not completely effective - not as effective as putting the bloody toy on silent. Of course, the parents of the toy-owner may then have to give the child some of their attention and on a plane that's the key. You just have to give up any hope of reading, resting, or sleeping unless the DCs are asleep. And yes, I write form (long-past) experience.

SoupDragon · 15/08/2015 14:32

How odd that I can not hear what my 3 DC are listening to with their bog standard headphones then.

NarrativeArc · 15/08/2015 14:33

On planes we watch the telly on the headrest in front of us.

Andrewofgg · 15/08/2015 14:34

Oh, sorry, SoupDragon - you meant the child should have earphones. I thought you meant the other passengers should!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/08/2015 14:34

There is a difference with planes though, there is no real external stimulation to be had on a plane, as once you're up in the air, all you can usually see is cloud and sky; or nothing, if it's dark.

Cars - usually something to see, mostly changing all the time, and mine are still of an age where they sleep if it's dark.

susannahmoodie · 15/08/2015 14:40

Also at Easter we drove to Skye (10 hours in opposite direction-we must be gluttons for punishment!) and ds1, 4, watched the iPad sometimes but did spend a lot of time chatting and staring out of the window, especially when we're were going through glen Coe and past Ben Nevis etc. letting them have screens doesn't mean they will be on them all the time, does it? everything in moderation surely.

Feline9 · 15/08/2015 14:48

Am I missing something? I really don't get why people get so wound up by screens, or feel it's "character building" to be bored. We have technology, no need to refuse to use it just to be difficult

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 15/08/2015 14:53

It can be "character building" (though I wouldn't use that term - but beneficial) to be bored at home without the easy option of a screen every time because it encourages kids (and adults) to do something else - pick up a book, go outside and kick a ball or make a mud pie, ring or call for a friend, bake a cake, draw a picture, start a project...

Most of those are not an option in the car though - or they pass some of the journey, but if its a very long journey there is time for a few hours reading, a few hours chatting, a few hours staring out the window, a few hours playing stupid tedious in car games, to fight with your sister and beat up your brother and to watch a couple of films...

Squitten · 15/08/2015 15:01

We don't have any devices for the kids so we manage without. Ours are 6, 4 and 1 and I think the longest journey we have done with them so far was 8hrs down to Cornwall this year. The baby slept most of it and the other two just got on with it. There was a bit of whinging but they coped. They had books, a few toys etc.

So no, we don't use screens on journeys. However, I don't think it's the end if the world either - whatever gets you through!

Hulababy · 15/08/2015 15:25

Everyone I know uses headphones on a plane. For the most part they are perfectly fine. Dh has noise cancelling Bose ones which certainly makes a difference but me and dd don't. And we manage perfectly fine too.

I don't know anyone who only watched an airplane screen only on silent!

Pilgit · 15/08/2015 15:45

Children need to learn how to be bored without complaining about it. It's a life skill - helps build imagination. But that's why catholic church is a good idea - being bored and whiny there negatively impacts on lots of other people. But in the car bored and whiny children are dangerous.

I am currently on such a journey. DH driving listening to an a audio book. DD1 is making a film on her tablet (god knows of what as we're in a traffic jam) and dd2 is currently doing something on the cbeebies app. Invaluable!

Bambambini · 15/08/2015 15:46

Yanbu - i had awful travel sickness as a child. I also loved reading but couldn't or it made the nausia much worse. My kids don't seem to suffer much like i did. They also love reading but if i couldn't read then neither can they. They can suffer the boredom just like did.

LikeABadSethRogenMovie · 15/08/2015 15:53

Crickey! What a fuss about nothing! We do big road trips all the time and there is literally nothing character building at all sitting bored when you don't need to.

Our car has an in built DVD player with 2 rows of screens. The kids watch movies, plug in their PS3, play on their iPads, the works! Its when we get there the electronics go away in our house.

Feline9 · 15/08/2015 15:55

Yanbu - i had awful travel sickness as a child. I also loved reading but couldn't or it made the nausia much worse. My kids don't seem to suffer much like i did. They also love reading but if i couldn't read then neither can they. They can suffer the boredom just like did.

I really hope that's a joke, rather than sadistically inflicting something on your own kids just because you had to...

DotForShort · 15/08/2015 15:57

I think there are tremendous differences between air travel and car travel. In a car, you have scenery to observe, you are in an enclosed space so you can play games and sing songs that might be just a tad annoying to your fellow passengers on a plane. And you can actually stop your car and take a break when you like.

We don't use screens in the car, though we take many long car journeys. But on a plane, there aren't as many other options for entertainment.

I do worry that we all have become over-reliant on screen entertainment in general. I'm sure I sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but we were recently on holiday in a beautiful place and the number of people (not just children or teens but many adults as well) who seemed to be surgically attached to their phones or iPads was rather mind-boggling.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 15/08/2015 16:22

I think people can get a bit precious and smug about 'screen time'. Nobody is saying DC should spend every free hour glued to Britains Got Talent or an Xbox game. But everything has a time and a place. DH and I agree that the best investment we ever made was the 2 screen in-car DVD player. It has seen us through many years of 3 days each way trips from NW England to the Costa Blanca. Got it when DC were 5 and 8 (now 12 and15).

Both DC get car sick so no DS / IPad / comics / games etc as they would need to look down to do that which IME triggers the nausea. DVD player attaches to back of headrest in front so heads are up and no sickness Kids have become word perfect in Friends, Doc Martin, Outnumbered etc.

The only shame was when they missed seeing the Ariane space rocket outside Toulouse and gorgeous Chateaux going through the Loire. Outweighed, however, by a calm journey and DC not killing each other! Plus there's only so much I spy and pub cricket anyone can play without going mad!

FindoGask · 15/08/2015 16:29

It was me who first used the term "character building", and I was being a bit self-mocking when I did it! There's a running joke in my family about things which are unpleasant being "character building". However, I could go on for quite some length about how I don't think boredom is the worst thing in the world and how a bit of mental downtime is good for you.

I don't "make a fuss" about screens, I just don't have them in the car. The only fuss here seems to be from people who seem to think this approach is some sort of implied dig at them. I don't care about how many videogames your children play - I'm just trying to muddle along raising my own family in a way that feels right to me, and part of that involves rationed time in front of a screen.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/08/2015 16:32

"I don't know anyone who only watched an airplane screen only on silent!"

My Ds1 used to - up until he was 4 he couldn't stand to wear the headphones, so would just watch the VOD films without sound. Then he got used to the headphones and is ok now. DS2 is a bit hit and miss with the headphones still, but then he's only 2 still.