No screen use during car journeys, am I being old fashioned?

[midnightvelvetPart2]

I do not let our DC's (9 & 6) play on screens during car journeys but I'm wondering whether I'm being a little outdated? :) they have regular screen time at home & if we are stationary in traffic jams then they can use them, but if we are just driving along then they are not allowed. I'm talking tablets/DS/handheld gaming things.

I used to get carsick to the point of vomiting if I ever tried to read a book in a car, so I wasn't allowed & this may be influencing it. DS1 used to get carsick but he hasn't been in 4 years.

I'm doubting myself now as we drove back from holiday yesterday & it was a journey of 4 hours. My dad phoned, the kids complained about the journey & that they were bored & he said well they can play on their tablets etc but when I said they weren't allowed to he was a bit taken aback. We play I Spy & Sausage etc & have music & audiobooks on so its not a silent car, DS2 usually sleeps at some point.

What does everyone do?

No we don't have screens in the car either. We talk, we sing, we play car games, they sleep, they play with toys, but no screen time. Not much in the way of reading either, just in case - although so far neither of them have ever shown themselves to be susceptible to carsickness (which I am). Boys are 2 and 7.

They get enough screen time at home, they don't need it in the car. But when we fly back to the UK from Australia, they will quite happily sit most of the time watching the VOD, which helps!

Long day journeys drive me to distraction and I'm normally in the drivers seat!

My dses have their iPads in the car and ds1 has audiobooks. We did 7 and a half hours yesterday coming home for the Lake District, it was hellish and if I could have lost myself in an iPad I would have done.

I don't get why children have to suffer. No one likes long journeys, the technology is available now some use it Imo.

I was just saying to DH yesterday that with traffic on the roads increasing, journeys are getting longer and more challenging so anything that makes it more bearable for everyone should be embraced.

DD used to like listening to audio books on longer journeys. The Harry Potter ones read by Stephen Fry are fantastic.

However, she is older now and tens to listen to music, often played via her phone - and yes, she plays on her phone. It keeps her from getting bored!

Long journeys are unbelievably boring, especially on motorways. Our two have portable DVD players on the back of the front seats and they are a godsend. I can't get worked up about too much screen time when long journeys are so infrequent- it's not as if they spend that much time looking at screens on a normal day.

I think a lot of people who don't allow it don't actually have a good reason, more of a "it's not a good thing", or "we managed so why can't they". Well, we grew up managing without a lot of things but that doesn't make our parents morally superior, and doesn't mean we need to get martyrish about it.

DVD player was invaluable for long journeys when ds was young - 2-5ish but since she's been more able to hold s conversation I've been much less reliant on it-recently did 6 hours with 2 hours nap, 2 hours chat and 2 hour audiobook.

But they are a useful tool and I wouldn't restrict them in the car for the sake of it.

I bet you would be a bit miffed if you went on a flight with no option of a movie

I think screen use in cars is fine.Unless you are the driver of course
Give it a go.If they feel sick then you will all know that it isn;'t a good idea but I think it is being a bit precious not to even see what happens.I could never read in a cr but all 4 o0f my DC have played on DS etc with no ill effects, so it is obviouskly down to the individual

Good god, waht else are they going to do - play I Spy?

I used to have miserably boring car journeys as a kid as I couldn't read (vomit) and lets face it the same route to grandma's every time isn't exactly stimulating.

I'd have beaten you over the head with my vomit box to get a screen to watch. Sadly they had not been invented yet.

IMO they discourage mindfulness and deny children the experience of sitting through a long while of something without resorting to 'external' entertainment.

Oh, nonsense. They can get plenty of experience of that standing in queues waiting for buses, standing on crowded trains etc. Would you say the same thing about books?

"Learning how to deal with long stretches of inactivity is healthy and character building"

How exactly?

I was in the brownies, guides, armed forces. Pretty character building organisations, in fact thats their main appeal wouldn't you say? At no point did they advocate sitting around doing precisely nothing except look around.

I think it's ridiculous and petty to restrict screen time on a long car journey, just because, but then I think that about restricting screen time full stop. Most children self regulate, if allowed to.

Why would you be "proud" that your children have no interest in screens?
It's not some great feat of parenting that makes you somehow morally superior.
All things in moderation and just because your children don't use screens doesn't make it a better choice just a different one.

I always let DC on devices to minimize risk of arguments or messing about which can be very distracting for the driver. Plus, they get bored as hell otherwise. However, it depends how old your DC are. Mine are a little old for car games and audio stories.

Most children self regulate, if allowed to.

Yes, but lots don't and perhaps those of us that want to have restrictions is because we know how easy it can be for some children to just spend hours and hours on screen time.

If you are the parent of a child that happily 'self regulates' their screen time then it can be hard to appreciate how difficult it might be for other parents (a bit like I find it hard to understand what it is like to have a child that won't sleep when mine went to bed at 7pm on the dot from Day 1 and never disturbed me - but I try and empathise with those parents who had non-sleepers. ).

It doesn't have to be either "no screens ever in the car" or "screens all the time in the car".

We live rurally and drive a lot but screens are only set up in the car for drives likely to take more than about 2 hours. We do a 13 hour drive to the UK once a year (well twice - once there and once back) - its a bit cheaper than flying plus hire car for all 5 of us and we can take/ bring back more stuff etc. I'd hate to do that without screens!

But even on a 13 hour drive the kids (10, 8, 4) will usually only watch 2 films. They have to watch the same thing due to the tech available so its somewhat social... The older 2 will have free access to Nintendos but mainly use them to "chat" using the message function to each other (despite sitting next to each other ... )

We spend an awful lot of time together as a family (apparently some people must barely see each other all year) but being stuck in a car together isn't "precious" time together, its mostly a boring slog (though during some parts of the drive there are interesting things to look at) and anything that breaks the monotony and stops the kids bickering and misidentifying boredom as hunger or asking how much further it is every 2.5 seconds is welcome.

I love reading on long journeys - would hate to have been forbidden to do that though it must have been awful to get car sick and have to sacrifice the reading to avoid the vomiting - long journeys as a passenger crammed in with siblings are very dull and frustrating.

Self regulation is definitely something that needs to have been done right from the start. If you suddenly say aged 7 yes unlimited screen time then for a while it would be problematic. I do think though that it would pass after a time. It's just human nature to get bored with what's easily accessible and not forbidden.

Ds gets car sick which is made worse by screens, books, anything that means he's looking down rather than at the road so he isn't allowed them. However if he didn't get sick I'd let him use them

Never had screens in car as a rule -unless someone sneaks a ds in (can tell usually because one of them ends up greenish)

2 11yos, 17yo

Partly cos carsickness-partly just cos

Dont have screens on holiday either (same goes for adults too-no phones, twitter etc)-noone dies

We normally just fight instead

"Learning how to deal with long stretches of inactivity is healthy and character building"

How exactly? confused"

I think it encourages creative thinking and conversational/observational skills. We've had some really bonding times as a family on long car journeys - even with big traffic jams etc, there's a feeling we got through it together.

I'm not fussed what you do with your family though, so there's no need to be so snotty about how I bring up my children. "petty", "ridiculous" etc - have a word with yourself.

also - one of my children can self-regulate with screens, the other really can't, to a worrying degree, so screen time is pretty regulated at other times too. Again, this is just what we do, it's not a manifesto, so no-one else needs to get their knickers in a twist about it.

For journeys over an hour I've always allowed DVDs. Still do and they're almost 16.

Frankly on flights I always watch movies and on trains I often listen to a podcast or surf the net.

On small car journeys DC and I have always listened to audio books and we still do.

Good god yes! Long car journeys are the very reason such devices were invented (well, not quite but it should have been!).

Anything to keep the peace & allow the driver quiet to concentrate!

We don't use screens and do loads of long journeys. We all quite like being in the car together, and we so far haven't needed them. It's not a 'rule' - we just don't own them and the kids seems happy enough without them.

It's in the house I limit screen time.

Since it is only me and the children in the car, I would prefer to be focussing on the road rather than trying to have "family time". If I am trying to play pub cricket or I spy or the number plate game etc, I'm not focussing on driving.