No screen use during car journeys, am I being old fashioned?

[midnightvelvetPart2]

I do not let our DC's (9 & 6) play on screens during car journeys but I'm wondering whether I'm being a little outdated? :) they have regular screen time at home & if we are stationary in traffic jams then they can use them, but if we are just driving along then they are not allowed. I'm talking tablets/DS/handheld gaming things.

I used to get carsick to the point of vomiting if I ever tried to read a book in a car, so I wasn't allowed & this may be influencing it. DS1 used to get carsick but he hasn't been in 4 years.

I'm doubting myself now as we drove back from holiday yesterday & it was a journey of 4 hours. My dad phoned, the kids complained about the journey & that they were bored & he said well they can play on their tablets etc but when I said they weren't allowed to he was a bit taken aback. We play I Spy & Sausage etc & have music & audiobooks on so its not a silent car, DS2 usually sleeps at some point.

What does everyone do?

Medium to longer journeys we usually have them. Four hours, yes, we would have had them. There are definitely times we put them away, if we are driving through particularly scenic countryside or talking together for instance. Sometimes we take very long road trips, some of that driving is incredibly boring and for that electronics and books make it more interesting.

"you are in an enclosed space so you can play games and sing songs that might be just a tad annoying to your fellow passengers on a plane"

but thinking back to my own childhood car trips the most annoying, cringable,, uncomfortable, infuriating people to be stuck in a tin box with are your own siblings singing and trying to make you join in endless tedious car games when you'd rather be gazing out the window in golden silence...

and I know it holds true for my kids too - though they get on really pretty well as siblings go when not tied in to the back seat of a car for 4-10 hours 2cm from the next siblings, they need a bit of space from each other and the fastest way to escalate normal grumbling about space into full blown distracting to the driver argument/ row/ raised voices is for one of them to start singing!

Just an opinion Findo no need to get so irate about it. Every person on this thread has got one.

I'm not irate, I was just responding to your post. If you'd rather people didn't do that, maybe don't quote them while calling them "ridiculous" and "petty" because they do things differently to you.

Well I think it's massively precious. There's nothing character building about being bored to tears on a long journey just so that Mum can feel self congratulatory because her children didn't look at a screen for six hours. So what? It's just a choice you made and I disagree entirely that it will be having any improving affect on your kids, which I am allowed to do.

You posted. You got an opinion. You can't control those I am afraid. If you can't take disagreement, perhaps don't post?

lol. If you saw my family life, you would see how hilarious your slur really is! What's 'self-congratulatory' like: is it the feeling you get on days when everyone gets from waking up to bedtime without injury to themselves, their siblings, or property?

I don't insist on us all being 'bored to tears' for 6 hours, but I'm equally not bothered by the threat of boredom or the brief spells of it when it comes. But then I was a happy window-gazer as a kid and my two seem to be as well. It's a pretty meagre boast but I suppose if that's boasting then it's a fair cop.

I don't want to control anyone's opinion. I do reserve the right to call people out for getting pissy with me. There are lots of other interesting posts here that I've agreed with even if they're not what I do.

Yes to singing being the single thing most likely to produce all out war in the back seat of our car. DD goes to a drama group and has a full set of songs from a musical to learn at any given time, she loves singing along to them in the car and so do I. DS, needless to say detests songs from musicals and detests DD's singing. Luckily he has his Ipod and headphones to escape from it and DD and I can sing to our heart's content.

"Slur"?

It's not a slur, it's an opinion. You seem to be taking this very personally so I will leave it there, my intention was not to upset you. It's just very different to how I think and I expressed that as did everyone else on the thread,

Yeah, I know what an opinion is, thanks, even without your helpful italics. I'm taking your posts personally because they are personal - they're directed at me, making assumptions about the sort of parent I am ("self-congratulatory", "petty", "ridiculous" etc) based on the fact my children don't get to play their DSes in the car! I suppose that does piss me off, but also reminds me why I don't post much.

I don't allow screens or books in the car, I never have, it's not for limiting screen time, I have no problem with letting DD watch TV and play on her tablet at home but I want to avoid car sickness. I'm emetophobic, which stems back to my sister throwing up after reading in the car on most journeys and my brother getting sick from playing on the game boy. Never had an incident of car sickness from my DD and she has had some really log car journeys, she likes listening to music and never complains of being bored so we're all happy.

The only part that was directed at YOU personally was the question about "character building" the rest was the whole idea regarding screen time. But it doesn't surprise me that you're making it all about you given the tone of the rest of your posts. You sound very defensive and with that in mind I certainly don't want to keep giving you more to fasten on.

Alright then! Cheery-bye.

Oh and my later posts were of course directly to you, but only after your responses to me. I said one thing you didn't like and you've made a massive meal of it, get over yourself.

I always smile at the idea that time spent bored makes people creative.

I assume that this nonsense cones for people who have never created anything in their lives!

Oh

We don't have anything except the radio. Even on eight hour car journey. Sometimes They listen to stories or music on the iPod.

We don't have DVD players. I've never thought about it much TBH.

I grew up driving across Europe with parents who would only listen to classical music. I could cope talking and arguing with my family, playing games, trying to read through the travel sickness.

When my eldest was younger tablets were not really around, so he also grew up driving to places like Italy with music on the radio. Then later we got an ipod touch that he would use for film, music etc

These day they both have a Hudl loaded with tv programmes, spotify play lists and games. I don't have a problem with it they're never glued to them for an entire journey. This summer we are taking it relatively easy and have 25 hours of driving there and back, not including stops, done in 4 stints.

They will vary their time and doze, stare out the window listening to music, watch a program, read, listen to a comedy podcasts on the car stereo, play on an app. I do the same if I'm on a train or plane. My teenage son and younger both enjoy the long stints snuggled up and chilling.

I'd have thought that this was the perfect time for them to have them. I can't abide seeing kids in restaurants with them, but that's because for our family eating is a social thing.

I'm another person that doesn't get the issue with playing games or watching movies. The whole concept of 'screen time' seems slightly odd to me. Why the focus on the screen? Is reading a paper version of a book somehow superior to a kindle (still a screen)? Watching a film is different to reading or playing a game. Some activities that involve a screen are challenging and some are mindless, seems a bit odd to lump them all in together.

What's so good about being bored or daydreaming anyway? My main legacy of boring sermons sat through every week as a child is that I drift off really easily when people are making speeches and doing presentations. This is not a good thing!

My children get to bring whatever they wish by way of entertainment when we do long car journeys. My parents timed the majority of ours when we were asleep (we had a VW bus which went flat) for the same reason, long journeys are generally boring. Bored children in confined spaces tend to bicker, besides which I'd prefer my children to interact with me because they want to! We have played games, listened to stories, sang along to music, looked at the scenery and had great debates too.

"I always smile at the idea that time spent bored makes people creativegrin.

I assume that this nonsense cones for people who have never created anything in their lives!"

Can I ask why you think it's nonsense?

I should clarify (as I think I'm the only person that has talked about boredom and creative thinking) that I don't believe that being bored magically makes someone creative. I don't think my 5 and 8 year olds are going to become little Beethovens because I didn't give them each a handheld device for car journeys. But I do think that learning how to be comfortable with inactivity, and not having to be entertained for every second of the day, will hopefully lead to a sort of mental self-sufficiency. That's all I really mean, just being comfortable in your own head without constant input. I don't think that's such a nonsensical idea.

In the car we play loud rock music from car music system. Kids were brought up that way and love it, even now they are teens. ds2 might play a few games on his phone but noone has asked for portable DVD players.

Do use electronics on trains and planes though.

"Why the focus on the screen? Is reading a paper version of a book somehow superior to a kindle (still a screen)? Watching a film is different to reading or playing a game. Some activities that involve a screen are challenging and some are mindless, seems a bit odd to lump them all in together."

I do agree with you here actually. I've got a friend who doesn't understand computer games at all - she says, why would you spend ages playing something someone else has made? Why not make something yourself? But she is an avid reader, and that's surely the same thing: spending hours/days immersed in someone else's story, as most of us happily do and don't see a problem with.

I suppose I lump them all together because if I didn't ration "screen time" then at least one of my children would literally spend all day either watching back-to-back Next Step episodes or playing Toka Hairdresser, neither of which are particularly challenging. She has been like that since she was tiny. When she's watching telly or playing a game she's just totally transfixed - she won't hear you if you talk to her, won't get up to go to the toilet until she's bursting, etc. I don't think it's unreasonable to be concerned about that and want her to do other stuff too.

Having lots of time with your thoughts isn't necessarily a good thing though, you can as easily reflect on all the bad things that have happened, the frustrations and irritations in life etc as you can thinking happier thoughts.

findo but why is it a good thing to just be? There are so many things to experience! stories to delve into, games to play, puzzles to solve, music to listen to, things go learn. Why would you prefer just existing to actually discovering things?!

The only bit of technology I have ever regretted in the car was a toy car with automated wheels which DS (then aged about 4) got tangled in DD2's hair!

We have done many, many long journeys down to South of France, Spain etc. Technology all the way for us.

Also I agree with nooka if I am left alone to my own thoughts I rapidly become very pessimistic and unhappy. I have issues with depression though, however I don't think it's unique to me to do that!