Or should I be able to abuse my own cat if I want?

[Welshmaenad]

Standing g outside having a crafty fag. DCat weaving around my legs bellowing at me (note: he is a hand reared orphaned feral kitten and is genuinely adored, but we have the kind of casual relationship where we can be rude to each other).

Unaware of anyone else in the vicinity I reply to the whining with "shut up dickface".

Random woman appears from behind parked can and tells me I don't deserve pets if I'm going to be so cruel and maybe she should phone the RSPCA and report me. Then walks off, leaving me

Said cat is now in bed with me (under duvet and everything) and doesn't appear to be holding a grudge.

WIBU to call my cat a dickface when he was in fact being one?

My two dogs (brothers) are variously referred to as "Fat-arse", "Fatty-boom-boom", "Idiot / Idjit / Eejit", "Arse-bandit", "Pervert", "Looney Tunes", "Cupcake", "Tart", "Oi!", and "Dogbreath".

In fact everything but their actual names

Dh calls ours "Furry Fuckwit" when the dc are in bed. He's especially irritated as he wants to go away in a couple of weeks and all the local catteries are full. It's all Furry Fuckwit's fault.

Oh manchestermummy how weird, DH calls our cat the exact same, I try to be more polite and call her "Furry Faced Fool" or just "furry face" in public

I've told this before on here but I was getting a Sainsburys shop delivered to the house some weeks ago. Dcat knows there is always treats for her in one of the bags so was winding round my feet as the delivery guy carried the bags in. I said to her in my talking to the cat voice "what have we got in here for a furry face?" I looked up and the delivery guy was staring aghast at me - he had a huge hipster beard and clearly thought I was addressing him

Our little trouble maker is regularly called Cooking Fat

Purple I'm laughing at that, partly because that's exactly the sort of foot in mouth moment I excel at!

I am in fine company, I'm so delighted.

I once called mine a gorgeous ginger bastard as very shy, male red haired neighbour came through the gate
Bloody ginger bastard cat legged it so it looked as if I was addressing the neighbour.

Rooster

that is just beautiful

I don't have much luck with said neighbour - on the day we moved in DH and I had a minor tiff about flat pack furniture - I heard DH out in the yard and shouted through the window (v tongue in cheek) "well I may not be able to assemble furniture but at least I'm great in bed"
Only it wasn't DH, it was the neighbour who had come to introduce himself

I've been known to shout 'shut up, you twat' if the dog starts barking. Same dog is referred to as 'poo face' (mostly in affection), my partner says I'm given the poor thing 'self esteem' issues, apparently.

I've never sworn at my cat, he's lovely. But I do call the dog a bastard, and when he's being really annoying I tell him that the next time RSPCA chuggers knock on the door, I'll donate him to them.

God only knows what the cat is saying about you when its meowing. Besides. Most of us have nicknames for friends and pets so the pop up lady should take a long walk of a short pier and mind yer own bees wax ;-)

Although you might expect me to be on Dick-Face's side, I would have been tempted to give Random Woman the reply which I remember was said to have been given by a homophobic MP accused of saying "Here comes that bugger again" to Leo Abse who sponsored the decriminalising Bill in 1967. Homophobic MP's response, quite unabashed, was "Oh, that's what I call all my friends!"

Someone call the RSPCA, I just laughed at DWhippet3 and called him a dick because he fell off the sofa........

Our Dcats both get referred to as "Noisy Old Trout" - if Dcat1 is making a racket, the general consencus is that she's just had a tricky poo, if Dcat2 is body slamming the door she's not allowed to go through, it's referred to as having a Hulk Hogan moment.. They routinely get called Cowbag, Furry Pain in the Arse, Stinkbag (especially after a particular variety of dry food - jesus wept!)...
We luffs them, in their own special way :) buggers the pair of them :)

When my dog falls off the sofa I usually say, 'Dog's Name, in this house we obey the laws of gravity'.

I never have to say that to the cat, the cat understands gravity.