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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or should I be able to abuse my own cat if I want?

116 replies

Welshmaenad · 14/08/2015 00:02

Standing g outside having a crafty fag. DCat weaving around my legs bellowing at me (note: he is a hand reared orphaned feral kitten and is genuinely adored, but we have the kind of casual relationship where we can be rude to each other).

Unaware of anyone else in the vicinity I reply to the whining with "shut up dickface".

Random woman appears from behind parked can and tells me I don't deserve pets if I'm going to be so cruel and maybe she should phone the RSPCA and report me. Then walks off, leaving me Shock

Said cat is now in bed with me (under duvet and everything) and doesn't appear to be holding a grudge.

WIBU to call my cat a dickface when he was in fact being one?

OP posts:
IceBeing · 14/08/2015 00:23

OMG what an adorable dickface!

HoneyDragon · 14/08/2015 00:23

I called the dog a cockwomble yesterday (justified)

The builders next door did not report me to the RSPCA because they were too busy calling each other cockwombles and sniggering as I had inadvertently taught them a new swear

Your should go to your neighbour immediately with your personal details and apologise for the misunderstanding that you were calling you cat dick face.

Explain that you were talking to her, as her car lurking was disturbing your peace.

RealityCheque · 14/08/2015 00:24

Get it to shit on her lawn.

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2015 00:24

Oh see now that is such a cute dickface that I'm actually siding with the random insane woman.

YABU - like totes.

ShadowsCollideCantLogInToMN · 14/08/2015 00:25

Such a cute little dickface! I'd share a photo of my arse clawing little fucker if I could figure out how to post photos on here Grin

SabrinnaInUtopia · 14/08/2015 00:26

I used to called my dear departed labrador Fatso all the time. He didn't appear to mind. Grin He would be told the FTFO too - when the dc weren't around of course.

bettyberry · 14/08/2015 00:27

I totally called the neighbours cat an arsewark when she decided to nick an entire pork roast of the oven tray as it was resting. That thing was HOT!

I then called the RSPCA because that cat was so damn skinny, rib visible skinny. Cat was still an arsewank and I was porkless! Damn cat didn't even eat it all. the fucker!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 14/08/2015 00:27

I'm pretty sure my cat thinks stuff like "fuck off you annoying cunt stopping me sleeping right across the top stair" I in turn think " are you trying to kill me blue waffle wanker"

But he's far to polite to actually say it and I'm a little scared of his reaction so don't say it out loud.

Last time I swore at him out loud he dragged a pidgin/other creature live through a small window then killed it in the kitchen making a god awful mess every other day for two weeks.

SycamoreMum · 14/08/2015 00:27

She'd report me in a heart beat for the 'abuse' I chuck at my mums cat;

Furry Bastard
Little Shit
Cheekeh Munter
WhatsHisFeckinFace
Hair Ball
Flea Bag

But its all love. I say this things as I stroke him or feed him and loves me Grin

coffeeisnectar · 14/08/2015 00:28

Your cat is gorgeous! Looks very traumatised by your verbal abuse though.

I have told boy cat to fuck off on occasion, mainly the time at 2am when I was holding dd aged 9s hair up while she vomited and he was in between us shouting for food. He then proceeded to wrap his paws round my ankle to stop me leaving the kitchen. He also comes in the bathroom and bites me while I'm on the loo. I tell him to fuck off then too.

Girl cat is called pissy pants after the weeing in my bed episode. Little fuckers both of them. Adore them though.

HemanOrSheRa · 14/08/2015 00:29

Are you the MNetter who carried the kitten around down your top because he was so teeny? Anyway, the woman is clearly a loon. Rarely call our cat and dog by their real names. They'll answer to a range of names including bitchbag, little fucker, stinky minge and fart face.

Roobix04 · 14/08/2015 00:30

Look at his gorgeous dickface!

Original poster
Welshmaenad · 14/08/2015 00:31

Oh Betty, poor little arsewank cat Sad

I feed about three times as many cars as I have because all the local waifs and strays pop in for snacks and a fuss. I let them eat after I caught one trying to eat a teabag off my sink.

Dickface is very cute, but he's an absolute little shitbag. He only gets away with his nonsense because he's the baby, and Mummy's little prince.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 14/08/2015 00:32

My Jack Russell Terrier answers to Fat Fuck.

Original poster
Welshmaenad · 14/08/2015 00:32

Heman, yes, that's me, and that's the little cleavagefruit, all grown up.

Bloody hell you've got a good memory!

OP posts:
Ookmybanana · 14/08/2015 00:32

I'm now worried I may be reported for instructing my westie not to bark like a dick. He continued to bark like a dick, so obviously cares not for such insults. Never gave thought to what the neighbours might think (or random car park lurkers) may need to indulge in some more interesting insults...

HarrietSchulenberg · 14/08/2015 00:38

Mad woman would probably have had me flogged had she heard what I called Ddog when he chewed my phone up. I'm sure he thought I'd changed his name to Bastarding Fucking Hairy Arsewipe by the time I'd finished yelling.

SecretNutellaFix · 14/08/2015 00:39

Mine are often called names.

GirlCat was referred to as "asshole" on fb with her antics this week

No one batted an eyelid

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 14/08/2015 00:40

you should call cats whatever you want.

but tell me this. when you called yours a dickhead did he make a cat bum face?Grin

HemanOrSheRa · 14/08/2015 00:41

I've shocked myself with my memory skills Welsh! I think I remember you took him on a trip to the shops or somewhere like that with him tucked in your cleavage? He is a gorgeous little fucker. It's nice to see him all growed up Grin.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/08/2015 00:43

Haha! What a weirdo! I don't have cats anymore but I still refer to the last one to pass away as 'dumbass'. Lovely cat but he was genuinely a dumbass. My neighbour has a gorgeous massive ginger cat, I have heard him muttering 'You ginger cunt...' under his breath a couple of times when an unwanted gift had been brought home. Said cat gets groomers coming to the house every few months to prettify him. He literally lives a life of luxury.

Original poster
Welshmaenad · 14/08/2015 00:55

Oh yeah, he came to the shops, and the doctors, and work for a while.

It's amazing what you can get away with when people already have you pigeonholed as 'a bit eccentric'.

OP posts:
BigcatLittlecat · 14/08/2015 00:59

Our two cats are often called 'furry fuck'! As in here she is our little furry fuck!
They don't seem damaged and are both very vocal!

tomatodizzymum · 14/08/2015 01:03

Tell her right back at you for being a freaky creepy stalking looney!

JanineMelnitzGlasses · 14/08/2015 01:04

You should have said to the nosey bitch lady, "you didn't hear what he called me!"
Although I quite like making her phone the rspca in front of you.

He is a lovely dickface though. Our cat is called fucking-fleabag at the moment (after a recent flea episode) and is currently plotting to kill me. His favourite method is tripping me up on the stairs I think.