Or should I be able to abuse my own cat if I want?

[Welshmaenad]

Standing g outside having a crafty fag. DCat weaving around my legs bellowing at me (note: he is a hand reared orphaned feral kitten and is genuinely adored, but we have the kind of casual relationship where we can be rude to each other).

Unaware of anyone else in the vicinity I reply to the whining with "shut up dickface".

Random woman appears from behind parked can and tells me I don't deserve pets if I'm going to be so cruel and maybe she should phone the RSPCA and report me. Then walks off, leaving me

Said cat is now in bed with me (under duvet and everything) and doesn't appear to be holding a grudge.

WIBU to call my cat a dickface when he was in fact being one?

YABU!
Look at that face,

Wizard cat is frequently referred to as Cowbag, biteyfucker and shitarse.

I've told her to fuck off several times today as she keeps standing by the back door and ordering me to open it, but its lamping it down outside and she doesn't actually want to go out.. she wants me to stand holding the door open so she can watch. She is retaliating by trying to eat my shoe!

Were she male, she would definitely be a Dickface today!

Meh...

They may pretend that the name calling to be beneath them...

But YOU know like that they know like any despotic leaders... a corpse in the bed at 2am is the most effective way of reminding you who is in charge..

I have been known to inform my cat that he's a psychotic ginger bastard. Daily. I have four cats, they're all verbally abused equally and with love.

My kids still regularly reminniss and laugh themselves silly about the time (about a year ago!) when I was trying to tell them all off for not getting ready and the cat kept meowing when I was trying to talk and I spun round and yelled "and you can SHUT UP as well Cat!". The kids all looked at me and burst out laughing, and then I did too and it diffused the situation nicely. Apart from poor little cat who was only a wee baby at the time and just wanted to be fed ...

I've called my cat far worse fat fucker trying to pull the curtains down

Our cat is simply called CrapFactory.
Because that's what she is.

Our cat is simply called CrapFactory.
Because that's what she is.

My DP and I were once out with the dog ( a very rotund Jack Russell), it was pouring with rain and she was faffing about looking for the exact blade of grass a unicorn had kissed on which to have a poo and DH said "oh come on you chubby little cow" and a woman had a right go at him. It turned out she thought he was talking to me.

Ah, another one who threatens slippers. When they were kittens I'd threaten to make the pair of them into a pair slippers, now either one of them would make a pair by himself. Or perhaps one of those big slippers. They'd make lovely slippers. So soft.

I am currently insulting my cats in a variety of foreign languages and would be most likely to be reported to the Spanish embassy for abuse of the language ('gato estupido' is most satisfying to say, but I don't think I pronounce it well).

OP Yabu - that lovely little furryfacey puss

You should have explained it's the only language these feral types understand

I have a semi feral cat camped out in the bathroom sink, his choice as he seems to think it was put their for him to sleep in, he often gets insulted as his favourite time to make noise is three in the morning, he makes a weird whistleing howl noise.

The only insult that seems to actually offend him is suggesting his breath is not the freshest after he eats fish based food. He will eat it then sit on your chest breathing fishy fumes over you - last time he did it he got comfy on me, pinning me to the bed with his furry tonnage and breathed on me. I got as far as 'bloody hell fatty, dog breath or what' then he belted me in the face (normal way of waking people) and stalked off to the bathroom sink.

Our cat is fairly affectionately known as CatBastard, following an incident when he pee'd on the lovely wooden chest dh made for me - and on some of the knitting yarn thereon too (an nigh unforgivable sin). He has cemented his position as Chief CatBastard by crapping on the dining room rug overnight - and still yelled at me to give him tuna - cheeky wee shite!

If my cat wants to stop me swearing at him, he can damn well return the favour.

He's a beautiful fluffy abandoned ginger long hair who moved in when his previous bastard owners moved away without him. He needs to be brushed every day, and the language on that cat. Nothing on this thread so far comes close.

Sure our cats have sworn themselves blue at us for getting a puppy.

If looks could kill we would be dead and the puppy too.

Dcat is usually referred to as Bitey Fucker, T-Bags, or just good old fashioned Little Shit.
She gets me back by chewing through any cable we stupidly leave accessible for her. Bitey little fucker that she is.

Haha - what a funny thread! I was more than a little concerned reading the title, but found myself actual 'lol'ing'! My husband has a habit of calling my male cat 'shit-head'; he's not quite a full set, bless him - (the cat, not my husband) and I usually have a go at him for it. That's mainly because I'm a crazy cat lady and a large part of me believes they understand every word we say. (Calling my husband a muggy cunt at times is completely deserved though ) I would say (as do many other posters) that's completely normal. Judging by that woman's reaction, it's like she's trying to make out you drop-kicked your cat across the parking lot! BTW your dickface cat is beautiful!

I once changed the food of my cats. They ignored the food for a full day. The day after a dead mouse was left by the bowl. I took this as a warning, changed the food back and kept my bedroom door firmly shut that night.

That dickface looks like it might have a smidge of Bengal in it. which would probably explain the dickishness.

My best friend's cat answers to a name that translates to Little Twunt. It's a nickname that was given early on, and stuck.

He's very cute OP! My Mum worries I'll give her terrier a complex by referring to her as Smelly...

I regularly threaten to feed my two bastards to a crocodile...
One if them has such a reputation for being a fat little fucker that he gets called 'space station' (as in 'that's no moon...') and now he responds to it.

I am currently perched on the seam of the sofa as grey cat has spread out in my seat...

Should have given her your details OP and then mine

Little AllBy is regularly called worse, when he doesn't stop barking i measure him up for a scarf and gloves and when's he really being naughty i tell im i going window shopping on dogstrust and im sure they'll let me do a trade in.

He still comes for his cuddle on the sofa everynight. Mind you im sure he calls me worse when dinner turns out to be rubbish ceasar instead of lovingly hand prepared steamed chicken.

After watching a recent episode of Man Down we discovered much to our hilarity that our lab x responds to 'piss'.