To think the parents should have been supervising this toddler

[Aeroflotgirl]

Today we went to a big open farm, we were in this enclosed play area with sand and tractors, quite a big play area with a gate that could easily be opened by the toddler, not really a deterrent. Myself and dd carer saw this young child on his own, about 18 months to 2 years max. We and another family were in the play area, we asked the fami,y if he was their son, they said no. No other adults near or around the play area so we waited about 10 mins to see if somebody would come to fetch him, nobody did, so my carer waited with my kids and the boy, whilst I fetched a member of staff who came.

Mum came running from round the corner and said he was her child. I then. I told her we were worried as he seemed on his own you can never be too careful etc. she then said he's ok her, and turned her back and went in the opposite direction towards the rock climbing, leaving her ds on his own in the play area. We hung round the play area for a bit more, the boy there with us too. She came back about 5 mins later, and walked off with her ds. I sent this a bit young for this kind of thing. Or am I being a bit cotton willing [cinfused]. He could have pushed the gate door and wondered off, or snatched.

Let's put it this way. If the child had been snatched or badly injured then 98% of Mumsnet readership would be baying for blood and asking where the fuck the Mother was?

If you had come on and said that .you had left your toddler unattended in a farm setting and were rather cross that another Mother had criticised you for it, you would have had a mass of Mumsnetters pile in and call you irresponsible and stupid for being so wreckless.

But because you have dared to suggest another Mother was exhibiting poor judgement and questioning her parenting the inference is that you are being unreasonable.

Go figure huh.

I wasn't comparing. Just pointing out that some people take less care of their more precious possessions.

It's quite a big permitter, not a small area with open fields near. Even so, a child that young should be closely supervised.

I agree, I would not leave a toddler unsupervised in a public area. Yes the chances of something happening are slim but that really isn't the point, surely as a parent you have a duty to mitigate any risk? He could have wandered off and like you say in a farm setting, that isn't safe.

Ego- do you advocate leaving toddlers to fend for themselves then?!

Hang on- by the sound of it, the child wasn't un attended. You said yourself she might have been able to see the play area from where she was. Just because she wasn't right next to him doesn't mean she wasn't looking after him. She obviously was looking after him as she noticed and rushed over when the staff member came over.

By the sounds of it, she had an older child who wanted to do rock climbing, so she let the toddler play in the enclosed play area which she could see from the rock climbing whilst she supervised the older child with a more risky activity. Seems normal and sensible to me.

When you have more than one child sometimes you have to make decisions like this.

Unfortunately Ego I don't think the fact it's highly unlikely is any consolation to the families that it has happened to.

YANBU - a child that age should not be left unsupervised.

The risk of your child being snatched is vanishing low. They are far, far, far more likely to fall over and graze their knee. I hate that feeling of my stomach falling because I've lost one (DS1 I'm looking at you) that I spend my time going from one child to the next or standing back and keeping all three in view. I had twins when DS1 was 3 so it's been difficult keeping an eye on the all but as a parent that means managing them and they can't always do what they want as I need to think of them all. I still wouldn't leave a 2 yo out of sight.

When I was young there was a lot more "fending for yourself", I think it makes children more robust to be honest. There is a balance of course - but for an example, when I was young playgrounds were exciting - high, really high, slides (and not just cos I was small by comparison), big roundabouts, witch's hats and so on. Now, the slides are all tiny, the roundabouts are mini and no where has a witch's hat. I read something that said this was making children unhealthy risk averse in development as play spaces are all so molly coddling.

I know that's not quite the point you were asking about - but generally there is too much cotton-wooling these days.

Climbing a tree was a standard activity in my day. Now it's all come down - too high!

something he was unattended in the play area. Even if she could see him, her view is restricted. I am sorry at that age you closely supervise your child.

I disagree Something. I have four. Supervising them all never necessitated leaving a two year old unsupervised.

Irritatingly, this, oh so free spirited, form of parenting only avoids disaster because people like the OP pick up the slack for these foolish people. There are a couple of "cool" families at our Primary school who airily let their adorable free range kiddies run about near the road. The rest of us are primed to avert a tragedy on a near daily basis.

selfloathing a toddler fending fir himself, start em young eh.

I just could not leave him once she walked off again, if we needed to leave I woukd have gone and found her now I knew what she looks like. Free range parenting, is that what it's called!

I don't think he was unattended. Otherwise his DM wouldn't have come running over when you got a staff member.

It sounds very much as though the DM was watching but because you didn't realise she was the mum, you thought the child was unattended. It also sounds as though she had an older child on the climbing wall so decided she needed to be in their immediate vicinity whilst keeping an eye on the toddler who was in an area where he was unlikely to be hurt. Did you actually speak to the child before involving staff? I'm guessing if you had, the mum would have approached sooner and he would have been able to tell you that was his mum watching from beside the climbing wall.

It takes a community to raise a child and all that.

aplace we asked all the parents in and around the vicinity, they were not, and on the path leading up to the play area they were not. How can she be fully supervising when she is helping her other DC. She might have glanced over from where she was, and saw the helper go towards the play area.

How can she be fully supervising . . .
I've no idea but it seems like too big a coincidence that she appeared when the staff member appeared. Hence why I would have assumed she could see what was happening even though you couldn't see her.

A big 6ft helper in bright colours is easy to notice than a mall toddler. How can she if she is helping her other child.

Mandy her son is good at staying put, ds woukd be like a bat out of hell and made a run for the Exit.

Didn't take long for someone to come on and polish their 'paedos practically don't exist' badge, did it?

OP Yanby.