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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I wrong?

100 replies

Ballpitintheway · 12/08/2015 22:00

Nc for this one sorry

Dh is at work, eldest dc at a campout tonight, and dts (18 months) tucked up in bed, fast asleep. Both dts sleep through, rarely wake, and are in separate cots, so safe and contained.

Realised about half an hour ago I'd run out of milk, so had to nip to the shop to grab some. Now, the shop is literally at the end of my drive. Out the back door, along the path (12 feet ish), through the gate, down the drive, and I'm at the shop. I can see part of the house from the shop door (but not the till). The shop is so close that the baby monitor still works with picture and sound at the back of the shop, and is definitely closer than my garden.

Babies asleep, so I grabbed money and baby monitor, ran to the shop, grabbed the milk, paid, and came back home. Was away less than 2 minutes, and could see and hear dts at all times via the monitor. Heard the phone ring too.

Came home, did 1471, called friend back. She asked where I'd been, I said I'd gone to the shop. She proceeded to give me a proper lecture over how dangerous, irresponsible, etc etc I'd been, and how lucky I was that nothing happened.

Wtf? Was I really being irresponsible? I need milk for dts for breakfast, and honestly can't see that I put dts in any danger at all - the only way into the house was past the shop, all other doors are locked, they're probably more likely to come to harm when I'm in the shower!

Friend has told me that she's too angry to explain anything, but I'm honestly confused. If I did wrong, I'll certainly not do it again, but did I?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ballpitintheway · 12/08/2015 22:25

Ok thanks, majority of you think ianbu Grin flameproof coat is on though!
No yale lock, all mortice locks, so I can't get locked out. Couldn't even get run over, as there's no road to cross! And if I'd had a heart attack, the whole village would have known before I hit the floor. Never thought about aliens, I must admit!
Don't need milk tonight, but if there's none at 6am, I'll have two very pissed off toddlers who will be looking for their porridge (and the shop isn't open till 8). Dh could get some on his way home, but it means him going 20 miles out of his way (adding 30ish miles to his journey home) to get to an open shop in the early hours, which seems a bit cruel.
Thanks though, I was very confused.

OP posts:
Samcro · 12/08/2015 22:25

yanbu

julesldn · 12/08/2015 22:26

Agree with DameMargaret - if you'd have gone to Tesco's and couldn't decide what to have for dinner so had a wonder round then obviously not good. Popping to your shop with a working monitor in under 2 mins doesn't sound bad, especially as the shop sounds so close it could be in your actual house! You clearly weren't eager to do it either. Actually, the fact that you knew what you were doing probably made you more aware/cautious than if you were say, watching tv quite loud downstairs or just having a quick shower.

Don't worry about your friend, some people love a drama.

IsItMeOrIsItHotInHere · 12/08/2015 22:26

I could have gone to the end of my own garden and been four times further away than you were, and no-one would bat an eyelid at that. I think it's one of those things where providing you are quick and take sensible precautions I see no harm in it, but some slightly hysterical people can't distinguish between nipping to a shop at the end of your driveway and getting a bus to Bingo and then going out on the lash until 2am.

FusionChefGeoff · 12/08/2015 22:30

I have parking restrictions outside my house and at times

marinacortina · 12/08/2015 22:30

I don't really understand why people have a problem with this. What are they afraid might happen?

As for the friend on the phone, it's got fuck all to do with her better to have said you were in the loo or the shower. You'll know next time.

FusionChefGeoff · 12/08/2015 22:31

...I have left mine alone and asleep in order to move my car. So I would probably have done it too.

ArgyMargy · 12/08/2015 22:34

Friend was being rather nosy wasn't she? You could have been in the toilet, watching TV, answering the door, seeing to one of the DCs etc etc etc. Strange that she demanded to know where you were...

DansonslaCapucine · 12/08/2015 22:34

I often can't be arsed to answer the phone. If I'm ever asked where I was I say I was in the shower/integral stage of dinner/putting the kids to bed/other such lies.

YANBU

MilkChocolateButtons · 12/08/2015 22:37

If you could hear them on your monitor and you can see your house from the shop and again the moniter reaches to the shop I would say It's not a big deal. Especially if your children constantly sleep and stay asleep once their down.

BitchBags · 12/08/2015 22:42

I can't see the problem. You made sure they were safe and had the monitor with you. It's no different from some people hanging out the washing at the end of the garden. Ignore your friend, she's being a nosy mare

Judydreamsofhorses · 12/08/2015 22:43

Surely hanging out a load of washing would take longer than this and I bet no-one would bat an eyelid at that.

avocadotoast · 12/08/2015 22:48

I don't know if I would have done it. Surely there's no situation so desperate for milk that can't wait till morning though Confused

teatowel · 12/08/2015 22:58

I babysit for people with such vast houses that I'm further away from their children than you would be in the shop.

Dontloookbackinanger · 12/08/2015 22:59

YANBU, if the monitor works and you can see your house they were not unattended.

That said, I have often wanted to pop to our corner shop whilst DS is in his cot, but have never actually done it.

The5DayChicken · 12/08/2015 23:05

I've been so extremely tempted to do similar in the past. My local shop is less than a minute's walk away but no clear line of sight (would be less than it is if the short row if houses between us moved). DD sleeps like a log. The only real reason I haven't done it is because it wouldn't be acceptable to pretty much anyone I know so if someone popped over, I'd be in for an earache. I'd ignore it from most people but there are a few who'd really upset me with it.

WorraLiberty · 12/08/2015 23:08

YANBU in this case

If you lived in a mansion it'd be all the same, wouldn't it?

Welshmaenad · 13/08/2015 01:42

I've done this, in the daytime when then-baby dd was napping. Frankly I'm further away when at the bottom of my washing line, but nobody gets apoplectic over me hanging my smalls out while she napped. Admitted to doing into another forum and it seemed akin to trying to sell my child into slavery or summat.

sausagepoo · 13/08/2015 01:58

Nothing wrong with that - I leave 18m asleep in cot to walk DD to brownies (5 mins) also have left her asleep when taking older one to school (4 mins).
Shock, horror and more shock probably! What could possibly happen to her? I also leave her unattended for 13 hours overnight whilst I sleep in a different room - without a monitor. Seems worse to me but apparently that is acceptable behaviour!

ChilliAndMint · 13/08/2015 02:08

I've done it lots of times.

Can get to the corner shop in about 1 1/2 mins max. Would take me longer than that to hang the washing out.

Garlick · 13/08/2015 02:09

No, you weren't! Totally reasonable - you were in contact at all times, and a 30-second sprint away.

God knows what people think parents did in the bad old days when they didn't even have home phones. (I come from the bad old days, I know what they did!) The fact that you could see & hear your children is bloody marvellous, and just the sort of thing this technology is meant to facilitate :)

TheHouseOnBellSt · 13/08/2015 02:10

Your monitor works there so how is it wrong? I lived in a house with an enormous garden...plus paddock....I often had to go to the bottom of the paddock when DD1 was a baby....it was a longer distance than that you've described.

Garlick · 13/08/2015 02:12

Haha, sausage, you're so right about sleeping at night Grin How very dare you.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 13/08/2015 02:17

teatowel I am intrigued!

OP no flaming from me - I would have done the same thing!

LaurieJuspeczyk · 13/08/2015 02:17

It's less time than being in the shower, and in the unlikely event that something had happened to you you'd be more easily noticed/accessible out in public than you would be locked in a bathroom. Sounds fine to me Smile