Woman on train

[holidaysareoverated]

DH and I took our toddler on the train today. The train wasn't super busy but there were no free seats so we walked to the next carriage. A woman and her teenage daughter were sitting at a table for four. So we approached and asked them to move over so that we could sit in the two free seats.
The woman started sighing and eye rolling at her daughter as though we were being complete pains in the arse. I told her that she was rude and entitled and asked if she expected the train to herself. Her daughter then started saying " she only sighed, she is allowed to sigh". The woman herself remained silent and then said exasperatedly "there's so much space!", which there was in the aisles. There were no other free seats at all.
AIBU to have fantasised about spilling my coffee all over them? I can't believe she thought a pregnant woman with a toddler should stand up so that she and her daughter could have a table for four to themselves!

[Sansarya]

Admittedly I find it weird if I get on an empty bus and train carriage and someone comes and sits next to me, but that's a completely different situation!

[SumThucker]

Aww poor Emma.
4ft 8'' and 6st pissed wet through in 'real life', yet 6ft 12st on MN.

Bless your cotton socks.

[FrozenAteMyDaughter]

I agree with those who find it annoying when someone comes to sit next to you when there are double seats still available. Or, if you are sitting in the window seat in a row of three, sit on the middle ones right next to you instead of (as custom demands) in the aisle seat, so that the middle one is only used if the train fills up completely.

However, I am genuinely aghast at the people on here who have suggested that the OP was wrong to ask the woman to move (even though I don't think she actually did) or that the OP should have kept her toddler on her knee so that the woman had a free seat next to her - WTF?

I am all for toddlers on knees if there is an adult standing, but why shouldn't the child have a seat if one is free?

Mind you, I am a long-standing commuter and have very sharp elbows and views when it comes to getting a free seat.

And as for Emma - well, she wouldn't last long on South Eastern, that's for sure! I've had people sit on my bags when I took longer than a microsecond to gather them up and move them, and to be honest, I don't blame them.

[drudgetrudy]

I think most people would be annoyed if someone came and sat right next to them on a nearly empty train-I'd find it creepy. We are talking about a situation where the train is packed and there are no other seats.

[liquidrevolution]

Oh no my DDs name is Emma . I chose it because I had never met a horrible one and all the ones I know are super intelligent.

OP - YANBU

I aso take a grim satisfaction out of asking people to move bags so I can sit down. even if I am only going one stop.

[fastdaytears]

I really want to know where Emma lives and this sort of behaviour works (other than in her imagination/on the school bus).

Agree that it's weird to sit next to someone if there are other seats free. I think most of us would prefer to have a space next to us. I don't prefer it enough to pay for a second ticket though.

[MythicalKings]

I suspect Emma is the precious flower who was on a café thread saying she wouldn't share a table and no one could make her.

[Pneumometer]

I don't prefer it enough to pay for a second ticket though.

I was amused to note that on a transatlantic flight where I was sat next to a cello, the cellist quite properly asked for a second glass of wine with his dinner as he'd paid for it. I'd have asked for the second dinner as well.

OT, does anyone happen to know what the situation is for wine accompanying meals for 12 year olds who have to pay full fare on planes?

[FrozenAteMyDaughter]

Actually (and totally irrelevantly) I don't think buying a second ticket would actually guarantee you a second seat anyway on most trains. Yes, if you used it to reserve two specific seats on trains where you can do that. Not if you were on a commuter train where seats cannot be reserved. With south eastern, I think the ticket only gives you the right to travel on the train - not to have a seat on it. The national conditions of carriage say: "Unless you have a seat reservation, the Train Companies do not guarantee to provide a seat for your journey".

So, unless she has actually reserved it, Emma has no right to the seat next to her regardless of how many tickets she bought for the train and how many she might wave in the face of someone trying to sit down.

[kali110]

I doubt emma would move for me then! I'm one of those people who look young and healthy but have bad health problems i can't stand up for long. My legs just give wAy and my arms just about hold onto my bags!
I don't like people i don't know sitting next to me ( severe anxiety disorder) however i always move my bag when it's busy for anybody. It's my problem, not theres.
I still haven't worked up the courage to ask people for their seat or too sit next to them if there is an empty seat because of people like emma

[FrozenAteMyDaughter]

Seriously kali110? I have never met anyone who wouldn't move after a polite "Excuse me". You shouldn't need any courage. They might not be happy but they always move. They have no right to more than one seat and they know that. I have never met an Emma in all my many years of commuting.

This is another way in which MN and RL seem to exist in parallel worlds.

[IhateMagic]

But most importantly, is Doing an 'Emma' going to be the new Wendy??
I do hope so, them Emma gets to notorious.....as is probably her wish.

[SuperFlyHigh]

Emma should be lucky she doesn't have to deal with an ex best friend of mine Samantha and her sister (S) both from East London (that's well ard innit?!).

once someone pushed past or something Samantha a few years back at a train station and she marched up to them so she said and hit them. Yes, hit them... Before I knew her. I was shocked and said 'you could have been done for assault' (Sam was now silent). Her sister also regaled us with how one time she bawled out a 'rude girl' on a bus in East London. I remember thinking yes you probably did do that and how I'd have most likely shoved the sister really hard.

[MrsOs]

Some people are seriously rude on here. when a train is packed, you have every right to ask someone to move over and let you sit down. You have paid for a seat after all. you were not rude at all. I probably would have said something too if they were being nasty about it.

[SuperFlyHigh]

i agree that the woman who refused to move but then did move was rude but so was the comments about rude and entitled. that was unnecessary either way.

[Rovinja]

Spotted this thread just now and perhaps we should ask ourselves WWED? (What Would Emma Do?)

[kali110]

Frozen unfortunately i have encountered some rather unpleasant people on public transport lately! After being threatened twice for asking people to not shout in the the faces of a teenage girl and a couple with hidden disabilities i really havent the courage to ask people if they would give up their seat for me or move their bags.
As i look like there is nothing wrong with me i never know the response i will get in return!

[Mehitabel6]

I have never had anyone refuse when asked. They know they can't have two seats. They make it look inconvenient, they sigh, they move things slowly, but if you just stand there, silently waiting, they make room.

[FrozenAteMyDaughter]

Sorry to hear that kali. That is grim. And I can understand you finding it difficult to ask someone to actually give you their seat (I would too in your situation). But they really have no right at all to more than one seat and I hate to think you are standing rather than asking someone to move.

This is why I always sit at the window if I can. That way no one has to ask me to move to sit down. Sitting in the aisle with an empty window seat next to you always seems to me to be a slightly aggressive act calculated to put people off sitting there.

[MrsKoala]

I don't understand this pov about those of us who chose aisle seats. I do because i have had extensive knee surgery and am in severe pain if i can't stretch my legs straight at frequent intervals. I have 3 huge screws thru my shin bones which ache like buggery if i don't move my legs. i never sit against the window. But will happily move for someone.

I did once get into a row with a guy because his friend sat in the aisle seat opposite me and he wanted me to move up so they could chat. I said no. He was more than welcome to the seat against the window, but no, i would not be moving over. He stropped and then spent the whole journey making a PA point by leaning right over me to talk to his mate. I didn't care i plugged my pod in and shut my eyes and enjoyed stretching my legs out when necessary.

[YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar]

You know like Wendy became a term on here for cuckoo type friendships? (Where a new woman takes over her friends friendship group and pushes original woman out yadda yadda). Are we all going to refer to selfish twats on public transport as Emma now? For example...
Oh my god this woman just refused to let me sit on the empty seat next to her. She wouldn't move over!

You've been Emma'd.

Emma what in a who now?

Read this thread. (Links to this thread)

Ah yes. Emma's are rife round here.

I'd never let anyone Emma me.

I'm Emma proof.

:o

[FrozenAteMyDaughter]

I am sure people do have genuine reasons for choosing the aisle seat like you MrsKoala. And thinking about it, it is usually men who do it, which suggests it may be a leg stretching issue. I just find it a bit irritating, having to wait for them to move so I can get to the window and then invariably asking them to get up again at my stop as they are going further than me. It's my problem, not theirs though. (I loathe commuting with every fibre of my being anyway, so am easily irritated).

[GoogleBoggle]

They were rude to think they were entitled to hog the seats, you were rude for picking a fight with them and Emma is rude to think she should get two seats to herself. Rude, rude and rude. Ten pages in. Are we done yet?!

[Andrewofgg]

Are we done yet?!

You jest. This one will go the distance.