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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Colleague sleeping / snoring loudly at desk

83 replies

H2OWoe · 12/08/2015 17:01

Situation: Open plan office. At least 20 to 30 people in earshot including some quite senior people. Every day about 2.30pm a colleague falls asleep at desk, very much against their will but they cannot seem to prevent falling asleep. Loud snoring / snuffling then occurs, this goes on for as little as 20 mins or as long as two hours.

On one hand, the sleepy colleague is embarrassed this is happening but they don't seem to want to do anything to help themselves. Won't get up and walk around when feeling dozy. Won't have coffee prior to sleepy feeling. Colleague has sleep apnea but refuses to use CPAP machine. They have deliberately arranged their desk so other people cannot see them in order to not get caught sleeping but they don't realise how much noise they are making.

Other people in the office have tried tactful interruption, bringing coffee to the sleeping person, concerned comments, outright challenge. The sleeper dismisses them and won't change their behaviour.

It's embarrassing / awkward being in the office with the loud snoring coming from behind a partition whilst we all pretend it's not happening. It's also bloody distracting when trying to write a report or do anything complex. There are also often high up vistors from other companies in earshot.

I am probably being unreasonable but I am finding the noise of snoring so bloody irritating! Should something further be done or do we all just grit our teeth and continue to pretend it's not happening?

OP posts:
travellinglighter · 12/08/2015 17:54

A colleague in work, complained about sleep apnea and was given a CPAP machine and it’s a condition of retaining his driving licence that he uses it. Drives him up the wall because he can’t sleep with it on.

Kewcumber · 12/08/2015 17:56

Crystal - I barely felt i was living at all. Single parent to a then 4 year old I used to put him to bed, fall asleep - get up and eat go back to bed, get up get him to school/nursery, fall asleep (in work when I was working).

I gave up work in the end. UNfortunately as I had both iron and B12 anaemia at the saem time - it distracting from realising that I had sleep apnoea GP thought the tiredness was anaemia related.

Mind you I have one of the worst cases of OSA the clinic (in a major london hospita had seen) my apnoea index was 105.

It felt like I was depressed. CPAP revolutionised my life at the time.

TenForward82 · 12/08/2015 17:57

Hmm I did say "fair enough" when you pointed out about the DVLA thing. However, if you want to hold a grudge about it, knock yourself out. I think you're the one determined to paint me as "wrong" in this scenario.

I have compassion for people with medical issues who actively try to do something about it. Whine about it or ignore it and force everyone else to put up with the fall out? Nope.

Kewcumber · 12/08/2015 17:58

Drives him up the wall because he can’t sleep with it on.

He will if he perseveres. I persevered because my apnoea was so bad I couldn;t really function without it, so I set myself daily targets.

BitOutOfPractice · 12/08/2015 17:59

howtorebuild it seems like that is Ten's MO Hmm

Kewcumber · 12/08/2015 17:59

Apnoea index of 105 - means I stopped breathing 105 an hour on average in the night when I did the sleep study.

I didn;t even know I breathed 105 times an hour!

TenForward82 · 12/08/2015 18:02

If I'd had to estimate I'd actually have thought you'd breathe more than 105 times an hour - not that I've ever given it any thought!

BitOutOfPractice Hello, I'm still here, no need to passive aggressively talk about me in 3rd person Smile

warriorbot · 12/08/2015 18:04

iklboo you just made me sporfle!

Now, whenever I want to derail a thread I'll come in and say "But I can't fight TWO robots!"

Grin

[goes to find the thread you came from cos it sounds loads of fun]

howtorebuild · 12/08/2015 18:07

I thought so, and then tried it on with Kew too.

Kewcumber · 12/08/2015 18:10

apparently 10 breaths a minute on average so 600 an hour - stopping beathing every 6 breaths deosn;t sound so bad now!

Mind you a score over 30 is considered to be severe with cpap being the only effective treatment.

pinkoneblueone · 12/08/2015 18:11

You don't work in south East England do u? (Concerned it my be my OH- really hoping it isn't)

H2OWoe · 12/08/2015 18:12

The colleague was issued with a CPAP machine about a year ago. Used it once and hated it, never touched it since.

They drink coffee at other times so it's not a matter of disliking it ... but after lunch they literally won't get up from the desk even when encouraged "want to pop to x place with me for 5 mins for a breath of air?" suggestions are met with polite refusal.

I do like this person (when they are awake) but I feel so grumpy about the noise when they snore, it grosses me out a bit with the snorty noises esp. Ugh. Which is my prob not theirs ... I guess I'm not being totally unreasonable to be irritated, but I need to find a way of dealing with my reaction to the noise and hope that the management address the colleague's problem. It's awkward but I realise it could be worse - they are not driving and not in a position of responsibility at least.

I have learned a lot about SA too thanks to the informative / knowledgeable posts too.

OP posts:
H2OWoe · 12/08/2015 18:14

The sleeper is single so no ones spouse is implicated :)

OP posts:
pinkoneblueone · 12/08/2015 18:16

Thank god for that! Lol I sky think the issue does have to be addressed though as it's not acceptable that e is being paid to sleep!

Goldmandra · 12/08/2015 18:16

CPAP revolutionised my life at the time.

What do you have to do to stop needing it, Kew?

Pooseyfrumpture · 12/08/2015 18:17

If it's so noticeable, could you start a log of how long they sleep for each day. And/or video it. By pass the manager and go to Occ Health or HR?

BitOutOfPractice · 12/08/2015 18:20

I'm sure you are still there. I was talking about you not to you.

gallicgirl · 12/08/2015 18:22

Sounds very much to me like he wants a nap.

You need to advise management that it's an issue still.

Icimoi · 12/08/2015 18:24

The fact that you're grossed out by the noise is definitely the colleague's problem and not yours, because it's something that simply shouldn't be happening at work. I find it extraordinary that your boss seem to be letting it happen. Can you go to HR?

In the meantime, do they have a phone on their desk? Can you turn up the volume on the ringer and arrange a rota for everyone in the office to phone them every time the snoring starts? Or put an incredibly loud remote controlled buzzer there?

LaLyra · 12/08/2015 18:24

Does he make up the time? It doesn't sort the snoring issue, but is that why management isn't too fussed? My friend has narcolepsy and is often found asleep at her desk in work (no snoring though), but she always makes up any time so her bosses are really supportive and don't mind. Do they perhaps not realise just how loud he is if they are in offices?

Kewcumber · 12/08/2015 18:28

I lost weight Goldmandra

More importantly I lost weight from around my neck. It was originally caused when I had to take very high dose steroids for an autoimmune problem which resulted in typical steroid weight gain around my face/neck. I probably have a familial predisposition to it as I have sinus trouble and my brother also has severe OSA (mind you he's massively overweight)

One my neck size reduced my sleep apnoea went. And even now that I have put some weight back on it hasn't gathered around my neck so much (not steroid related but greed related this time!).

I have heard opera singing can help too!

Used it once and hated it, never touched it since. - he's a class A idiot. No-one uses it first time and thinks "Oh fab"

Dawndonnaagain · 12/08/2015 18:30

Ds (30) has severe sleep apnoea. He had to build up to using the CPAP machine. Using it once and never again is a) stupid and b) selfish.

Goldmandra · 12/08/2015 20:38

I have heard opera singing can help too!

So....singing lessons or weightwatchers. What a choice!

I think I need to do one or the other or I'll be forced to go and see my GP Sad

ChameleonCircuit · 12/08/2015 21:39

Not all CPAP masks are that big. DH has a dinky one that fits just over his nose. The machine is virtually silent and I only hear it anything if he somehow dislodges the mask, and even then it's the rushing air I hear, not the machine itself. Your colleague is not only being selfish but endangering their health further. I'd have no qualms about standing at their desk shouting "Oi, snoreypants! Wake up and do your bloody work, you're not paid to snooze!"

paulapompom · 12/08/2015 22:19

Sounds stressful all round, he's embarrassed, you are disturbed by the noise. Would the management consider letting him work flexible hours until the cpap starts to have an effect - but yes he will have to use it, I have seen it used and it seems no fun, but then neither is his current situation

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