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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague sleeping / snoring loudly at desk

83 replies

H2OWoe · 12/08/2015 17:01

Situation: Open plan office. At least 20 to 30 people in earshot including some quite senior people. Every day about 2.30pm a colleague falls asleep at desk, very much against their will but they cannot seem to prevent falling asleep. Loud snoring / snuffling then occurs, this goes on for as little as 20 mins or as long as two hours.

On one hand, the sleepy colleague is embarrassed this is happening but they don't seem to want to do anything to help themselves. Won't get up and walk around when feeling dozy. Won't have coffee prior to sleepy feeling. Colleague has sleep apnea but refuses to use CPAP machine. They have deliberately arranged their desk so other people cannot see them in order to not get caught sleeping but they don't realise how much noise they are making.

Other people in the office have tried tactful interruption, bringing coffee to the sleeping person, concerned comments, outright challenge. The sleeper dismisses them and won't change their behaviour.

It's embarrassing / awkward being in the office with the loud snoring coming from behind a partition whilst we all pretend it's not happening. It's also bloody distracting when trying to write a report or do anything complex. There are also often high up vistors from other companies in earshot.

I am probably being unreasonable but I am finding the noise of snoring so bloody irritating! Should something further be done or do we all just grit our teeth and continue to pretend it's not happening?

OP posts:
summertimefeelings · 12/08/2015 17:25

Shock Oh my god, is this a joke?! This is crazy! I can't believe no-one is dealing with this.

I would bring this up with your boss and don't let this drop;
(1) You're all being paid the same and expected to do the same job yet he's getting up to 2 hours off in the middle of the day whilst you all work. That's 10 hours a week he's getting paid to sleep.
(2) He's disturbing everyone around him. In this sense, it's kind of irrelevant that it's because he's snoring, it'd be the same if he was humming or singing or whatever.
(3) It's projecting an atrocious image of your team/company.

Failing this, why don't you organise a group of you to all pretend to fall asleep every day for about an hour for a week. If your bosses say anything just say, well if [insert man's name] can do it, then why can't we?

howtorebuild · 12/08/2015 17:25

They just want to be able to assault the sleeper and call us OTT.

PausingFlatly · 12/08/2015 17:28

Kew, your posts were interesting and very informative, and very valid.

CrystalMcPistol · 12/08/2015 17:30

I thought so too. I had no idea that falling asleep as the wheel was the biggest cause of death for people who suffer with sleep apnoea! I thought it was heart failure.

BitOutOfPractice · 12/08/2015 17:31

Kew I certainly found your posts very relevant and timely

OP is this person driving?

LazyLohan · 12/08/2015 17:34

Wow. Am I the only person who feels a bit sorry for this person? If they can't sleep with the mask on then they're stuck between a rock and a hard place. It doesn't sound like they're doing it voluntarily, it must be really embarrassing.

tbtc · 12/08/2015 17:35

If it were me, I wouldn't want to get involved in the sleeper's conduct, I would handle it from my own POV and go to my boss and say I cannot work with the noise of someone snoring (SNORING FFS!!!!) while I was trying to work.

Your employers have a duty to provide you with a reasonable working environment. It seems that your own efforts to change things have not helped therefore you are taking it higher. Ask them when you can expect to hear back from them, and chase it up.

In the meantime, fire up the Nerf gun.

Original poster
H2OWoe · 12/08/2015 17:38

Not a joke, but I feel better that others think it's annoying.

Sone days it's only twenty mins. Today has been very bad, three hours worth.

They don't drive.

They are the worst paid person in the team so we don't honestly all get paid the same. Doesn't make it ok though. It's a huge company with tons of dosh.

When the sleepy colleague is awake (!) their work performance is excellent, one of the best people in that skill group. The problem almost disappears totally when they are busy ... Right now their workload is very light and they are bored which is making the situation worse.

I am also realising that I actually want permission / encouragement to Metaphorically poke them with a stick, which means I am a bit of a cow :(

The manager is almost certainly too embarrassed to tackle the problem and is obliquely trying to encourage the medical support side with jollying along comments. Arrgh!

OP posts:
CrystalMcPistol · 12/08/2015 17:38

Lazy I don't think the OP said he couldn't sleep with the mask on just that he refuses to use the CPAP machine. He also refuses to have a coffee or walk around in order to stave off the napping.

Sounds like he's in denial.

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 12/08/2015 17:40

I've come across this too. I work in the public sector and nobody, adjacent colleagues, his line manager, nobody, seemed to give a fuck. Taking tax payers' money every month in his salary, a little snooze after lunch every day and never did a stroke of work all day long. In fact it was worse than that, he was doing stuff connected to a sports club he was involved with, printing, phone calls... I reported him but nothing got done. Absolutely disgusting.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 12/08/2015 17:40

The manager needs to deal with it directly (ie with the colleague themselves) or indirectly (eg getting HR to lead on the issue).

Even with medical reasons sleeping on the job at my place of work is deemed to be gross misconduct ie potentially a sackable offence. Every workplace should have policies and procedures to follow with poor performance and misconduct, yours needs to dust them off and start following them

TenForward82 · 12/08/2015 17:40

If they're so tired they're falling asleep involuntarily at work, they must be so tired they can sleep with the mask on.

Good suggestion from tbtc

Kewcumber · 12/08/2015 17:42

If they can't sleep with the mask on then they're stuck between a rock and a hard place. It doesn't sound like they're doing it voluntarily, it must be really embarrassing.

It is hideously embarassing - I once fell asleep on my keyboard... whilst typing on it in an open plan office Blush

However is they can't sleep with a mask on then they need to persevere. An hour a night, then two hours a night, then 3 etc. Eventually I would sleep for 7-8 hours and couldn't sleep without it even when I was able to give up the mask.

chippednailvarnish · 12/08/2015 17:43

Ask them to move you away from them, citing the snoring as intolerable noise...

CrystalMcPistol · 12/08/2015 17:43

Did you feel you were living in a fog before you got the machine Kewcumber?

howtorebuild · 12/08/2015 17:44

Tried CPAP have you, Ten It's pressurised air that a machine forces into your lungs.

TenForward82 · 12/08/2015 17:45

kew the snorer in this story doesn't seem too embarrassed about it! Unless they're trying to style it out with the extravagant yawning ...

Kewcumber · 12/08/2015 17:46

The masks are horrendously difficult to get used to - I'm not claustophobic at all but learning to sleep with a big darth vader lump of polycarbonate strapped around you face with a hannibal type affiar really isn't easy.

I used to take it off in my sleep at first, gasping for breath even though I was getting air pushed in - I felt like I was suffocating.

Cpap masks aren't like those oxygen masks you get in hosptial.

Hang on I might have a picture somewhere.

But thats still no excuse you must persevere - its a life threatening condition (not least of which because of the driving issue)

TenForward82 · 12/08/2015 17:49

Sorry rebuild, are you for or against this guy? Getting a bit confused by your posts.

As kew says: life-threatening condition, must persevere. I have conditions which mean I have to do stuff I don't like, but not doing it isn't an option.

Kewcumber · 12/08/2015 17:50

That was taken to celebrate my last day of CPAP - I didn;t normally put it on during the day!

Colleague sleeping / snoring loudly at desk
FuckingFucketyFuckFace · 12/08/2015 17:51

Umm... I have SA and I don't do that, therefore his excuse is invalid. He needs firing.

howtorebuild · 12/08/2015 17:51

Confused Hmm

mintpoppet · 12/08/2015 17:52

Have a bit of compassion. They clearly have medical issues.

I wouldn't drink coffee either. Foul stuff. Perhaps he hates coffee. As for cpap machine readers here have no Idea why he won't use one. They are noisy and loved one gets no sleep if he wears it? Claustrophobic? Apnea not at that stage yet?

howtorebuild · 12/08/2015 17:53

That was to Ten who has been determined to have me as " in the wrong" from their first post.