To point out you can have a diagnosis of severe depression and anxiety

[LunchpackOfNotreDame]

And still function

Because some helpful 'friends' are trying to undermine me by saying I cant possibly have that diagnosis because I'm not in hospital and I still work (albeit on reduced hours)

Hold on while I ring my cpn, Dr and crisis team then and ask them to reevaluate my diagnosis based on what some lay people think.

I'm sorry I don't fit into your stereotype of depression. Which is kind of my point with my op. Suffice to say I have more shit going on than I am prepared to post on a public forum and am actually pretty fucking unwell right now.

There are no stereotypes to depression and anxiety and I dont think we can say there are. Everyone deals with MH issues deals with it differently and in different ways, otherwise there would be one thing that worked for us all- wouldnt that be lovely!!
I love this thread! All of us coming together and able to say this is shit and we have been at the very bottom at one time or another in our lives. We arent alone and thats nice. Doesnt stop us feeling it but at least we wont come out with classics such as "just be happy" "what have you got to be sad about" " people have it worse than you" etc
i also loved "fuctioning doesnt mean coping!"

There are times I almost certainly should have been hospitalised with severe anxiety/ OCD type crap.
I think when you live with this the level of anxiety/ depression you live with (can withstand before not functioning) becomes your new normal. And then it takes a period of remission to actually see how bad things were.

I'd like to persue an ASD diagnosis, but I'm terrified it would mandate social services involvement for my son. There's no way I could cope with that after I got horribly traumatised in hospital after he was born because I had anxiety (I now have a really strong phobia of anything that remotely smells of social services, having to jump through hoops to prove yourself, etc).

(Sorry for the horribly clumsy wording and typos! I'm tired)

My partner, an area manager of a massive nationwide chain(trying not to out myself but thousands of different branded pubs and restaurants in the uk), covering 50miles radius and visiting, assisting and supporting the running of about 35 different pubs... has severed depression and mild anxiety (anxiety attacks are few and far between now) his depression is so bad that even with the right support, trialing various medications etc I've found him on the bathroom floor with a knife to his wrist, legs, torso, hips etc. only once have i been unable to calm him and thankfully DC's see none of this (Although they do know that daddy is sometimes cold, moody, unaffectionate etc).... Its fucking hard. Its so hard. for both of us. Its gotten to the point where I even bloody hate going places with the kids because i know dp enjoys nothing. If someone said all of his family had died his reaction would be the same to if he had won the lottery, Its become more pronounced recently but my god its so fucking hard to be or be with someone who is so depressed, it really does drag you down and affects all relationships. I've gone completely off tangent i'm so sorry, its just good to vent.
Original point being, no matter how high up someone is in work or life or how good they look or how together they seem they may well be falling apart inside, or close to being so. My partner copes by switching off in work, he's been in this career for 11+yrs now so its second nature, but he just doesnt think as a person while working. then when he comes home/leaves work it goes to shit :(

also sorry if bits dont make sense, i'm tired after a 12hr shift and my laptop has taken to highlighting and "cutting" words for no reason :S

What constitutes a serious impact on day-to-day life is so variable, Elementofsurprise. That's how some people manage to work and some people don't, even if they have the same diagnosis. Coping strategies are also very personal. Some people might retreat and hide away, and others may paint a big smile on and throw themselves into something. Both might be entirely inappropriate.

OP I'm sorry you're feeling so unwell right now

Just remembered another good one from a psychiatrist "you're not depressed because you are looking at me in the eye." Seriously, some people.

If you're the functioning / coping kind of depressed person, how do you get to the point then where you get diagnosed and get help? Does it take some kind of a breakdown before you finally get the help you need? Or a friend to point it out? If you're 'just getting on with it', as many of us tend to do, there must be some trigger where you finally stop and get help.

Genuine question (I'm asking for a friend /cough/ )

I walked into the doctors and burst into tears and said "I don't think I'm right" and it all went downhill from there.

If youre even slightly concerned seek medical help

anxiety and depression are not psychosis. It isn't a sliding scale. They are totally different things. And you can be psychotic and fuction.

ive lost jobs due to anxiety. Right now i work way below my capabilities and qualifications. I am taking on more responsibility and this is really helping my anxiety. just like the medication i take. my colleagues would fall over if i told them i have an anxiety disorder. I am slipping recently and my days doing proper work are just about all that holding me together. i guess thats functioning.

Haven't RTFT yet, but I want to add my experience.

My future MIL was informed that I have anxiety problems and I wasn't able to discuss all the things I've done wrong ever why our wedding venue was inconvenient. As she persisted I had a panic attack and went home. She turned up at our house two hours later to taker her 30yo son away because she 'was very worried about his safety' and she 'doesn't know what Amelia is capable of'. I've never, ever hurt another person in my life.

We need to talk about mental health.

solas. it has been breakdowns that have taken me back to the gp. i tend to try and battle on but its not always healthy.

the op has it right. if you don't feel right go to the dr. There are often "physical "causes for anxiety too. so a check up alqays a good idea.

Amelia i hope your dp told her to piss off.

He did tell her to go away (he doesn't swear at people). I haven't had to see her since, so that's a bonus! It just brought home to me what ignorant fuckers some people think of when they hear 'mental health problems' though.

to everyone. Thank you OP for this thread - it has been a lightbulb moment for me.

I am currently medicated for depression and functioning. I have accepted that my condition is chronic and I will be on antiDs for life. Have absolutely no issue with this - my personal view about me is that I have a chemical imbalance so take something to fix that. Like insulin for diabetics. But this thread has made me realise that I did not consider myself to be "depressed" because I coping. I viewed "being depressed" as the times when I cannot get out of bed. But it's not true for me . I am depressed most of the time. I am just sometimes functioning whilst being depressed. And sometimes not functioning. The AntiDs mean that for me I now v v rarely not functioning. Not that I am no longer depressed.

Not sure that make sense. Or even that I need it to. I needed to write that to understand me.

Thank you again OP.

Feline, Tired thought that the doctor's letters which said 'this well dressed and presented lady' was doctor code for 'still capable of getting up and brushing her hair'.

I've worked as a medical typist and it is sort of a doctor code, but not in the way she thinks. It's kind of hard to explain, but if a doctor prefaces a letter with something like, 'well dressed and presented', or 'pleasant gentleman' or 'charming lady', it's sort of a doctors code that they are educated, respectable or middle class, that sort of thing. It's almost tipping a wink to another doctor that what they say should be taken seriously etc and also as sort of a prompt to themselves when looking at the notes. As I said, it's hard to explain, but an open secret. It doesn't just happen in mental health clinics, I've seen it in pain clinics, renal & gastro clinics, all sorts. I'm not mad keen on it but it happens.

There were some turns of phrase which were reputed to denote masons....

YANBU.

I suppose the definition of functioning varies for the individual. When I was ill, I still turned up for work everyday so appeared to be 'functioning' but the invisible side of the illness that people wouldn't see would be chronic insomnia, issues with eating, lack of joy and general numbness. Most mornings I wanted to stay under the duvet but was scared that if I did i could easily slide further down and make myself worse.

Don't let people belittle you OP although easier said than done. Still lots of stigma and ignorance about mental health unfortunately, more's the pity.

Hello and Thank-you. That makes better sense now you spelt it out. I 'suffer' from anxiety & depression, been on medication for what seems like years. I have also had bouts of psychological therapy which does help.

But I have never clicked that the 'good times' are when I am functioning well and sufficiently diverted with taking care of others. Whilst the 'down times' are when I am less busy, connected to pain & ill-health and just the sad old world getting to me. It suppose it explains why I don't function well in the down times, and neglect myself.

I just thought I was useless and not getting better. But clearly A & D are with me, all the time. Sometimes it wins and others I do. It's a continuous battle.

I guess we need to focus on the small victories, and try and forget about the bigger picture. Besides what did someone say you have done well in spite of everything.

Chin up.

solas I think this is about quality of life....

To take the parallel back in to the physical illnesses...if you had chronic back pain and it was just sore all the time...you would probably cope and carry on but after a while you would think - this is a bit shit...and go to the doctors to see what they could do about it. Maybe it would suddenly get worse and trigger that trip but maybe you would just get fed up with life being more of struggle than it should be all the time.

Depression is the same. It just saps the joy out of life...sometimes a little and sometime a lot. If you have had 3 months of not finding much if any joy in life, then you might go to the doctor and tell them you used to enjoy things but now you don't so much and explain that you are keen for this not to spiral down into worse depression.

It isn't normal to wake up with a pain in your back everyday...and it isn't normal to wake up feeling numb to the joy in life everyday. It can be fixed and in the end why wouldn't you want it to be?

Thanks, IceBeing - back pain is a helpful analogy, a slow chronic slide into your life just being a very grey place with no joy. Similarly I'm guessing a breakdown could be like when someone slips a disc or needs back surgery, a sudden crisis where you need help.

I try to keep an eye on myself for stuff like this as it runs in my family.

I have had both depression and anxiety then sever depression and anxiety following a horrific sexual assault and I just didn't care anymore. My life spiralled out of control. I didn't keep up with uni and fell into drugs. It was the darkest time of my life. However I am past all that now and hope I'll never go back. It's all relative to you personally and how you cope