Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DH should share his annual leave

67 replies

oscarsmum28 · 11/08/2015 18:47

My DH says that because he works full time and I don't, his annual leave is for him only. AIBU to think this is unfair.

I used to work full time and he stayed at home with our DS but our roles changed a year ago and now I am looking for work. But I don't remember simply b#ggering off on my annual leave and leaving him to it all the bl**dy time. He has a lot of hobbies that demand his time, but every time I ask to do something with my friends and for him to have our three year old it causes an argument. I normally win but I hate asking and hardly ever go out without the kids. When he justifies why I shouldn't do something he says his days off and evenings are his because he works and he needs it as down time.

I do manage to get some time out but it, but only about 5% of what he does and he always makes it hell for me to ask.

Is this normal for stay at home mums? In somehow doubtful when I find a job that this will change.

OP posts:
Caprinihahahaha · 11/08/2015 18:49

What do you mean?
Does he take his annual leave up going away with you or your child.

I would go out a lot. I wouldn't care how many fucking arguments it caused.
I'm a sahm.

rallytog1 · 11/08/2015 18:51

Doesn't he want to spend time with his family? Seems a bit weird. Yanbu at all...

CassieBearRawr · 11/08/2015 18:52

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

Would be my response to that.

LittleChinaPig · 11/08/2015 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oscarsmum28 · 11/08/2015 18:53

Yeah I mean we did have a week holiday but all the other days he's used for going out without us, or locking himself in his man cave playing computer games.

I do argue with him about it but he thinks I'm being unreasonable. Even weekends are a nightmare!

OP posts:
TeamBacon · 11/08/2015 18:55

Wow. He's being totally unreasonable!

Fine to want to keep a few days for himself, as long as you have days to yourself as well! Cheeky fucking git.

Caprinihahahaha · 11/08/2015 18:55

Oh dear god, what a dickhead.

I would just start going out either letting him know that he is staying at home or, if he makes excuses, book a babysitter.

He is being ridiculous.

HedgehogAtHome · 11/08/2015 18:56

When do you get your annual leave from being a SAHP?

oscarsmum28 · 11/08/2015 18:56

Thanks. I will stick to my guns then and argue the case. I don't know what he expects to happen when I'm working full time again too and we have to cover the holidays with our annual leave! Lol

OP posts:
CognitiveIllusion · 11/08/2015 18:56

He is being completely unreasonable.

OwlinaTree · 11/08/2015 18:56

Not much of a partnership is it? That's what I'd be saying to him.

GloGirl · 11/08/2015 18:57

He's a cunt.

Caprinihahahaha · 11/08/2015 18:57

Just out of curiosity what is it he does that exhausts him so that he can only wearily grip a gaming control?

LazyLohan · 11/08/2015 18:57

So neither of you want to spend time as a family? You both want the other to take care of the kids so you can go off alone?

It's a bit odd neither of you want to be together as a family. But equally I don't think he should spend all his leave caring for your children so you can go out with friends. Maybe a day or two here and there, but not all of it.

PurpleSwift · 11/08/2015 18:58

He doesn't sound like much of a family. This would frustrate and disappoint me so much, yanbu

MakingBaking · 11/08/2015 18:58

Would you agree with him that childcare is not work? No.
So IMO you are both working really and are entitled to equal amounts of time alone.

haveabreakhaveakitkat · 11/08/2015 18:58

He's one of the twattiest dh's I've heard of on here.

Inertia · 11/08/2015 18:59

So his working life is 37 hours a week in a job outside the home, yours is 168 hours a week caring for your child? Doesn't seem fair, does it?

CalmYourselfTubbs · 11/08/2015 18:59

dickhead alert. what a prick.

oscarsmum28 · 11/08/2015 19:02

His precise words tonight were, "I earned it. It's mine."

OP posts:
cathpip · 11/08/2015 19:05

Your dh is an utter knob, sorry but weekends and annual leave don't excuse him from his parenting responsibilities. I would point out that you need down time too and if he had to pay you for what you do he wouldn't be able to afford it.......

mysteryknickers · 11/08/2015 19:06

Op does he keep his money to himself too?

oscarsmum28 · 11/08/2015 19:06

I think maybe this is why I don't particularly want to spend time as a family sometimes! When he says things like this. Although we do have some family time at weekends. My argument with him is more that I want him to support me to do some things outside the family as I do for him. Anyway I get the gist from the responses ;) He's being a dick!

OP posts:
woowoo22 · 11/08/2015 19:06

Twunt. Pathetic behaviour. On what planet is this acceptable?

Yika · 11/08/2015 19:07

Wow. That is unbelievable! Doesn't he want to spend some time with his own family in his downtime? What's it for then?

Don't 'stick to your guns' and 'argue the case'. Just LTB.