To think DH should share his annual leave

[oscarsmum28]

My DH says that because he works full time and I don't, his annual leave is for him only. AIBU to think this is unfair.

I used to work full time and he stayed at home with our DS but our roles changed a year ago and now I am looking for work. But I don't remember simply b#ggering off on my annual leave and leaving him to it all the bl**dy time. He has a lot of hobbies that demand his time, but every time I ask to do something with my friends and for him to have our three year old it causes an argument. I normally win but I hate asking and hardly ever go out without the kids. When he justifies why I shouldn't do something he says his days off and evenings are his because he works and he needs it as down time.

I do manage to get some time out but it, but only about 5% of what he does and he always makes it hell for me to ask.

Is this normal for stay at home mums? In somehow doubtful when I find a job that this will change.

[Idontseeanytimelords]

I work pt from home, DH works ft out - we save half our leave for family holidays and days out as a family or a couple and both have days off to ourselves.
Neither of us ask if we can have a night out either - we check that there's nothing else on & put it in the diary! Tell him - don't ask.
Your 'D'H needs to give his head a wobble and ask himself why his needs trump yours!

[BettyCatKitten]

Yanbu. DH and I work all our A/L around school holidays to look after the dc's. There is no 'me' time at all. One of the joys of being a parent

[MrsTerryPratchett]

It's very simple. Either looking after the children is easy, in which case he can do it without breaking a sweat and it counts as 'time off' OR it's hard, in which case you need a break as much as he does.

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

I get 8 weeks al a year ( that includes bank holidays) dh gets 1/2 of that.

We both book a week off for ourselves, then some together and rest is for school holidays.

What will he do when both of you are working and school holidays must be factored for.

[Cloudhowe63]

Aha, so he's actually doing you a favour. . How very bloody big of him.

When is your a/l?

Seems he really doesn't appreciate his family..... Perhaps he doesn't deserve it.
I'd be having strong words.

[Bleakhouse1879]

Fuzzy: Any man that chooses to spend his spare time in a fictional world of make believe pretending to be the footballer he never was or pretending to shoot people because he hasn't got the guts to sign up to the real armed forces is in my opinion a very sad pathetic excuse for an adult that is beneath my contempt. If women choose to live with Peter Pan men that prefer to engage in fantasy than with their own partners and families then that is their issue. I am entitled to criticise whomever I deem is deserving

[Purplepoodle]

Wow. One or two days fair enough but nearly his whole leave and weekends - he's being a single man forgetting he has a wife and family. I'd be finding some activities he has to take dc to on a weekend.

[CharlieAustinsMagicHat]

What about people who like reading or films? Aren't they spending their spare time in a fictional world of make believe too?

[Zucker]

I'd be giving him all the free time he wanted by telling him to fuck off out of my sight. But that's me, can't stand self serving arseholes.

[yummumto3girls]

Another one here who thinks he is being totally unreasonable!! Does he do anything to care for the DC? Does he help at home? Do you share money? I'm guessing not!! He is being totally selfish, when you have a family everything is organised around being a family including holidays and weekends. Odd days for own activities but that's it. It doesn't sound like his family is important to him.

[trollkonor]

I play games, must remember to introduce myself Tinkerbell.

[FuzzyWizard]

The OP's DH is clearly a lazy sod but playing video games in itself isn't a bad thing.
I like reading, watching movies, playing video games, board games. I also like Disney movies and musical theatre. Judge away.

[CassieBearRawr]

"Fuzzy: Any man that chooses to spend his spare time in a fictional world of make believe pretending to be the footballer he never was or pretending to shoot people because he hasn't got the guts to sign up to the real armed forces is in my opinion a very sad pathetic excuse for an adult that is beneath my contempt. If women choose to live with Peter Pan men that prefer to engage in fantasy than with their own partners and families then that is their issue. I am entitled to criticise whomever I deem is deserving"

You better get the memo to my partner so he knows to leave my sad, pathetic arse behind, wouldn't want to be with someone so invested in fictional worlds. Shall I chuck all my books out with my consoles?

Your point buried in all that hoikey bosom judgeyness that someone who devotes all their time to themselves (whatever they ma be doing) at the expense of their family is valid though.

[trollkonor]

He sounds like a lazy arse, what happened when he was a sahm?

[JacquesHammer]

Any man that chooses to spend his spare time in a fictional world of make believe pretending to be the footballer he never was or pretending to shoot people because he hasn't got the guts to sign up to the real armed forces is in my opinion a very sad pathetic excuse for an adult that is beneath my contempt. If women choose to live with Peter Pan men that prefer to engage in fantasy than with their own partners and families then that is their issue. I am entitled to criticise whomever I deem is deserving

What complete bollocks.

The issue for the OP quite clearly isn't the gaming - its the fact that her OH isn't invested in doing things as a family.

How adults (and you do know women play games right??) choose to spend their free time - and if it isn't impacting negatively on their family - is quite their own business.

Do you read? Watch movies? Or do you only read education material/watch documentaries?

Best tell my chap he's a pathetic excuse for a real man - he makes computer games

[Alibabsandthe40Musketeers]

He's an idiot.

Nothing wrong with gaming though, I game more than DH. I also parent, read books, spend time with my friends and family and many other things.

People who make sweeping generalisations about things of which they are clearly ignorant, are fools.

[WannabeLaraCroft]

OP yes he's being a knob, I understand he needs down time as does everyone, but he has to respect your needs too.

And I love gaming, I love immersing myself in worlds where I can interact and follow a storyline. In the same way I enjoy watching films, listening to music, reading books. I'm not sad and pathetic, I have a lovely family and a full life. It's a hobby, one of many, which doesn't rule my life. It's a bit of fun.

So lighten up ffs.