DH leaving DS alone in bath

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Last year DH kept repeadly leaving 4 year old DS in bath on his own. DH would go and sit in study (on same floor as bathroom but out of sight) and sit in front of his computer claiming that he's listening out for DS. I explained that drowning is silent and caught DS on several occasions on his front, creating huge waves and mucking about. He has very little concept of safety despite it being explained. DH doesn't even notice when we are in same room talking to him when he is on his PC, but keeps saying he can hear if DS gets into trouble in bath! We eventually agreed last year that we would not leave him in bath on his own. Then this year DH left him on his own again in bath (hoping I wouldn't notice).

I leave my 5yo alone in the bath sometimes and have been doing so for nearly a year, I guess. Sometimes I sit and play with her, sometimes she wants a bit of space on her own. I potter around, getting towel, hair brush etc sorted, put the kettle on etc. I have half an ear open at all times and pop in or call out to her occasionally.

If not at this age, then when is appropriate to start doing that? If we don't start to withdraw from constant supervision gradually, how do they learn independence and life skills?

YANBU. It's not the secondary drowning issue at all but the likelihood of them messing about, slipping and hitting their head on the side of the bath or bathroom wall, then sliding under, that I would be worried about. And like others, I know perfectly well that I zone out when on the PC and don't pay close attention.

I can understand people who have other kids to supervise going in and out, but there is really no excuse for your DH. I have never found it a problem to keep myself occupied in the bathroom - I can read, chat to DS, MN or play music from my phone. He's just accepting an avoidable risk because he wants to do his own thing. Whatever he's looking at on the study PC, can't he do that using his phone in the bathroom?

So what age is acceptable for leaving children unsupervised in the bath? if my 7 year old fancies a bath she'll run it herself, get in, wash herself and use up all the shower gel then get herself out and dried. Of course she could slip and hit her head and drown but so could I or any of you

Someone at the start of this thread quoted the UK gov site, where they say 8 years old is considered safe.

But then DS1 has been swimming independently for a long time and is in the pool so often he's part fish so the danger of him drowning in his foot of bathwater doesn't cross my mind.

The swimming part is irrelevant if he slips and hits his head. Which you won't know if you're downstairs cooking dinner.

Have people really got so little time that they can't stay in the bathroom with a 4 year-old?

They are only little, and bathtime can be a really fun time with them.

But anyone could do this. It happened to the daughter of one of my mum's colleagues, a real tragedy. She was 27 at the time.

There comes a point where you have to start taking chances, and as they get older you have to take more and more of them. I (personsally) wouldn't have left my 4 year old unattended but age 6, yes. Doesn't mean there was no risk.

Even as an adult you should fully drain the bath before attempting to get out. I read about a young lady (early 20's, I can't recall her exact age) who slipped and hit her head and sank under water as she was knocked out. The story had a happy ending as her dog got into bath and stood under her to lift her out of the water until she came round.

yes fluffyears - I read that as 'fluff years'

I do so agree
I live by myself and have done for many years
I always let the water out of the bath before getting out in case I slip and when I hit age 70 will take to having showers instead although I do like a good wallow.
slipping and losing your footing while moving/standing in even a few inches of water can be very dangerous whatever your age (if there is a chance of drowning because you are concussed).

Forgive the seemingly stupid question but if you have a bath mat that fills the 'footprint' of your bathtub, how is it possible to slip in the bath?

I was always taught to pull plug out before getting out. Then even if you slip whilst waters inside and bang head unconscious the water should empty out quick enough you don't drown.

Seeing as I'm telling my 5 and 4 year olds to do this, hopefully they will do the same as adults. However they still use a step and bred help getting in and out as bath is high. I assume we will help until around 8 years min.

Even as adults Dh and I bath with the door adjar so hopefully we would hear if one of us fell when the other is in flat ( just not if we drown quietly!)

I would be more concerned about them turning the hot tap on and scalding themselves, about 2000 kids a year do that the majority 4 and under