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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bloody HV

168 replies

NinjaPanda34 · 10/08/2015 22:06

I could write a book about my health visitor. Today she said "oh x's eye looks really sore", er you silly moo, it's a birth mark and it's the same fcuking birthmark that you comment on every time you come. It's red. It's a birthmark. There is nothing wrong with his eye.
Sigh.

OP posts:
fermentedvaper · 10/08/2015 22:51

On another note my first hv was wonderful. She was a nurse who the became a trained breastfeeding counsellor before moving into hv work. She was my rock when I went through my divorce, and instigated an investigation in relation to some information that caused me a huge amount of emotional trauma.

There are some good ones, it just seems that either they are few and far or we only ever notice the ones that are a bit crap.

MrsDeVere · 10/08/2015 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 10/08/2015 22:58

My daughters are mixed race (white/black) and were all born with Mongolian blue spots which are very common in mixed babies. One HV who visited the other week looked really worried when checking my twins over so I told her what the marks were so I don't get accused of beating my kids. I had to point out the notes about them from THREE different HCPs proving what they were before she believed me. As if new mums need anymore stress!

Redshoes55 · 10/08/2015 23:00

I trained as a nurse and then a district nurse. We were pretty useful. Honestly I still don't see the point of health visitors at all.

You need midwifes of course and GPs. So you have the midwife post baby for 7/10 days and then most mums are generally getting there.

If not there's still the midwife/GP/practise nurse.

A health care assistant could run the baby clinics to weigh and measure babies, chat to mind and refer.

HV are expensive and in my mind a waste of money.

I last saw one in 1989 with ds 1 who told me ds was 'a fatty' this from a woman who was morbidly obese.

One snuck past me in 1999 with dc4 and started advising me (unasked) on giving up bf as I had 3 kids already and 'looked peaky' Grin

Goodbye dear.

spillyobeans · 10/08/2015 23:00

Just wondering, anyone else got a hv who is actualy a nurse and not a qualified hv? Mine is and she said its because of a shortage

Redshoes55 · 10/08/2015 23:03

MrsD that's actually quite insultingly racist or at best ignorant. Silly cow.

As a student nurse back in the day we could recognise Mongolian blue spots! They are far from rare.

Redshoes55 · 10/08/2015 23:06

Gosh spilly back in the day all HV had to be qualified nurses and midwives.

You might be right though now.

Caff2 · 10/08/2015 23:09

Health Visitors are nurses with a further qualification.

StealthPolarBear · 10/08/2015 23:10

This is very worrying :(

Szeli · 10/08/2015 23:12

I'm still contemplating reporting my latest one.

My first was amazing, such a wonderful lady who went above and beyond with her weekly visits after a traumatic birth.

Then I moved; HV2 is just useless, I'm not sure she's ever spent time with any infants, she's very odd but pleasant enough

The ones at the childrens centre were just rude, shouting at me for prepping ds 'wrong' for weighing "well you'd know if you'd ever bothered to show up before!" "sorry, i just moved here and my last city did weekly home visits and clinics by appointment Angry it's on his notes in front of you." grr

HV3 who did DS' development check I took issues with, she showed up 30 mins early as I was getting in the shower so I had to let her in wearing my pjs whilst ds was eating his breakfast, i apologised and she said "i suppose if i didnt have a job to go to I'd be slouching in my pjs all day" Angry "I'm going to work as soon as we're done here actually, I arranged my clients around your visit"

She then was asking about things DS does and I said she's better directing her questions at DH as he's the SAHD he sees more than me and she responded by saying "well how strange, that's just odd"

I didn't hear or I'd have pulled her up on it but DH just walked out, I didn't know why he'd acted so 'rude' til after, he was quite upset and really pissed off - as was I. Stupid bint

VitaminCrumpet · 10/08/2015 23:14

Some of my favourite HV moments include:-

During her first visit asking DH if he had a job "as he was hanging round the house". DH was on leave.

Telling me to keep my cat away from the pram. I didn't have a cat.

Asked my why I was giving DS a bath in the afternoon - "babies should be popped in a bath before bedtime".

Told me it was never too early to teach DS table manners. He was EBF and 12 weeks old.

Congratulated me on my second pregnancy when I took DS for a 12 month check. I wasn't pregnant.

Hmm
Bunnyjo · 10/08/2015 23:17

When I took our second DC to the HV for their 8-12 month check, the HV called us in, looked at baby and said, "Oh, what a gorgeous little girl you are!"

This would have been lovely, except my second DC is a DS; he was dressed head to toe in navy blue and his name, which the HV had just called us in by is definitely a boy's name! Confused Hmm

Redshoes55 · 10/08/2015 23:17

You are under no obligation to see a HV though. It's not the law. You can just say no thanks.

Most kids now are on the radar of childminders/nurseries anyway by the 2 year check up and don't need Imput from a HV they don't actually know.

StealthPolarBear · 10/08/2015 23:19

Yes but before 2 years the HV is essential imo

ollieplimsoles · 10/08/2015 23:20

Im in two minds whether or not to see a hv at all. They sound utterly useless at best and downright rude at worst.

My cousins was awful, she didnt know any answers to questions she had and just kept asking rude questions about how much her dp earned.

StealthPolarBear · 10/08/2015 23:22

If you find your own HV unhelpful that's one thing but until then please give her a chance

Crispyjoyluck · 10/08/2015 23:27

I'm waving to all the GOOD HVs who do their job well. Mine saved me from PND, went well out of her way to help me and I am forever indebted to her. She is a nurse and midwife too but settled on health visiting. A sensible sane woman.

redshoeblueshoe · 10/08/2015 23:29

Bunny I think we must have had the same one
HV I want to check your son
Me she is a girl
HV I WANT TO CHECK YOUR SON
Me OK
HV takes his nappy off Blush
Me What have you done to my son Grin
sadly I didn't say that but I wish I had

VitaminCrumpet · 10/08/2015 23:29

My HV seemed harmless and I enjoyed her visits as she was entertaining in a strange way. I wouldn't rely on her advice or take anything she said too seriously. She seemed quite happy to tick her boxes and leave leaflets.

icclemunchy · 10/08/2015 23:30

Actually the one who came to do DD2s home visit check (should of been the 10day check but we were in NICU 3 weeks) was quite good, she had helpful info that fits with our method of parenting.

Sadly I've never seen her since at baby clinic and he info from the ones we so see is wrong at best and dangerous at worst.

Why is it so hit and miss? There doesn't seem to be the same problem with other hcp's

redshoeblueshoe · 10/08/2015 23:32

It must be contagious - obviously her nappy.
My next HV was great

Eva50 · 10/08/2015 23:35

I had a great HV with ds1 and ds2. She retired when ds3 was tiny. I didn't bother seeing the new one but she seemed nice enough.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 10/08/2015 23:37

I always worry about vulnerable mothers who read threads like this and decide not to bother seeing a HV when actually they really could do with the support that a good HV can provide

FeedYourselfSmiles · 10/08/2015 23:40

I have a birthmark on my arse that swells when I'm stressed. Would love to hear what the HV said to my mum about that.

Allisgood1 · 10/08/2015 23:44

I used to read these threads pre baby. They never stopped me from seeing a HV. I was also not disappointed when several of them let me down in a similar fashion as to other posters here. I have also had some very good ones. I have to say, however, that after dd1 I have never seen one that hasn't turned up uninvited. And I have 3 dc.