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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be majorly pissed off with my friend?

15 replies

screenjunkie · 09/08/2015 14:28

So I invited 5 people over last night, I asked them all in enough time and during the week I checked that they were still available - all said they were.

The night before I sent a text to say come at a certain time.

I realise all had text me back but one. I gave her a call in the morning and sent her a text saying if she needed a lift I'll come pick her up.

I heard nothing and she never bothered to show up and she hasn't messaged me - but shes been on facebook.

Now it's annoying when people drop out last minute but I think to say you're coming and then not show up and not even make the effort to apologise is just horrible. Aibu?

OP posts:
laffymeal · 09/08/2015 14:32

YANBU. I never understand why people behave like this, it's so rude and unnecessarily hurtful.

You might get a lot of replies along the lines of "maybe something came up last minute/you don't know her circumstances" but I don't agree with that. Even a one line text saying "Can't make tonight, will explain later" would be better than a no show and radio silence.

lushaliciousbob · 09/08/2015 14:32

There could be a simple explanation... miss placed her phone and forgot about the event? I'm the same as you where I jump to conclusions and this is the sort of thing that would really annoy me. but I'm trying a new thing where I don't assume the worst straight away (I seem to be failing!) does she have form for this sort of thing? When you say she's been on fb, has she written a status?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/08/2015 14:35

How on earth are you being unreasonable.
That is height of rudeness and bad manners.
Does she get along with the other people you invited though. Does she know them, Is she nervous around lots of people.
Mind you she still could have text you, even if you told you a lie about why she couldn't come. At least she would have aknowledged your invite.
Aside from that Did your other guests turn up. Did you hAvd a good evening

laffymeal · 09/08/2015 14:37

I hope you had a good night. Try and focus on the 4 who DID turn up, we all have a tendency to obsess on the negative.

lushaliciousbob · 09/08/2015 14:49

I should add that I do think her behaviour is unreasonable providing there isn't a plausible explanation

Original poster
screenjunkie · 09/08/2015 14:50

Thank you - yeah I did have a good night.

She knows everyone who was there and in fact I know two of them through her.

OP posts:
DoreenLethal · 09/08/2015 14:50

Has she said you are being unreasonable?

DurhamDurham · 09/08/2015 14:55

I think your friend was rude to not let you know ( unless she has a very good excuse ) but I don't think I'd be majorly pissed off at her, you had a nice time and she missed out. Unless you specifically needed her there for a reason.......like you were playing a game that needed six people ( clutching a straws here Grin ) I don't think you should let it bother you.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/08/2015 15:00

Oh well that rules my theory out.
Yes good point another poster made about misplacing her phone, but could she not hAvd messaged you on Facebook. Assuming you hAvd it of course.
I mean even barter with that, perhaps something happened last minute and she's had to rush and other things on her mind and forgot your invite. If she is nattering away on face book.
Think this is just a case of bloody bad manners.
Glad your night went well

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/08/2015 15:01

Yes don't let it eat away at you. Surely she's not that good company is she

AuntyMag10 · 09/08/2015 15:08

Until you speak to her I would not be jumping to conclusions about her being rude. You can access fb through a laptop. Her phone could be lost as well.

Original poster
screenjunkie · 09/08/2015 20:30

Very true - I had a good night regardless. It was just expensive and she knew what I was spending - not her issue, its my choice BUT its just the absolute silence thats annoying me.

Still heard nothing and she has her phone glued to her constantly.

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 09/08/2015 21:35

Yeah, I think when people don't bother to reply but have clearly been on FB or WhatsApp etc it's really rude. To not turn up at all is very rude.

Unless there is a very good (non-made -up) explanation I'd not bother to invite her in future.

Glad you had a good night OP.

CrapBag · 09/08/2015 21:39

YANBU. Crap like this really pisses me off. When everyone has the Internet and mobile phones, there is no excuse not to send a quick message (barring accident or genuine emergency). If she can go on FB, she can send you a bloody text. Rude cow. I wouldn't invite her next time.

Original poster
screenjunkie · 10/08/2015 22:38

Thanks everyone

Just feels like she has zero respect for me Sad

I've still heard nothing from her.

OP posts:
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