Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask why having kids is expensive?

561 replies

HodgePodge23 · 08/08/2015 15:06

What do you need to buy them apart from toys, food, clothes and a few other bits and bobs here and there? I have an 8 month old so maybe things will get more expensive with time, but I really don't understand why people say having children is expensive. What are people spending their money on?

OP posts:
TheNewStatesman · 08/08/2015 20:18

If you HE you have to factor in a LOT of lost earnings. And most HErs spend a fair bit on extra curricular activities and quite a lot use tutoring for some subject. It really adds up!

Hellionandfriends · 08/08/2015 20:23

I've probably done it as cheap as I can. Second hand/hand me down clothes/equipment/shoes/school uniform. Also cheap uk holidays, tight budgeted xmas's and birthdays

What has cost? Clubs and buying a house big enough to accommodate my family.

I'm a SAHP and that means I'm not earning but also not paying childcare costs.

RedCrayons · 08/08/2015 20:27

I spent £300 on school uniform on Wednesday. I sill haven't bought shoes which as they are both in adult sizes will be £40+.
That is more than I have spent on clothes for myself in the past six months

I could probably have paid my mortgage off with the amount I spent on nursery when they were little.

Course an 8 month old doesn't cost much.

Hellionandfriends · 08/08/2015 20:30

Omg Wally!! £50 on a gift for a friend. Just crazy!! We spend about £8 per gift.

Egosumquisum · 08/08/2015 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewLife4Me · 08/08/2015 20:48

SurlyCue.

Definitely, a £15 logo sweater to some is expensive if they are used to £3.50 at Primark. Likewise a drop in the ocean for a high earner.
The point is that most dc will need the sweater if school uniform, it's the needs that can be expensive whereas the wants are non essential that those without a whole heap of money can and do go without. The rich sometimes have more choice.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 08/08/2015 20:52

Please can people just read the post - 3 friends TOTAL £50!!!

KatnissEverdene · 08/08/2015 20:59

Secondary trips, even day trips are c£30. School uniform (state school) - everything logo'd. Shoes, my 15 year old is an adult size 10, for school they need school shoes, trainers and Astros (boys and girls). Clothes, my 15 year old is in a man's medium and has been wearing adult clothes for ages now. Food, my 4 never stop eating. You can't possibly imagine feeding 4 large children if you only have a baby!

Ragwort · 08/08/2015 21:02

Lots of the items listed here are not essential - I appreciate child care costs are huge (as are private schools) but so many parents seem to spend £££s on totally non-essential items - fine, if you have the money but too many children are growing up to be totally materialistic.

If my DS lost his hoody, swimshorts and trainers (as someone said further up the thread) there is no way I would be paying to replace them Hmm - he could buy his own or I might get the basics from a charity shop.

My DB moans constantly about the 'expense' of his teenage daughter - but seems to enjoy totally over indulging her with every whim she requests.

Years ago I read quite an amusing article about how having a child actually can save money - you no longer go out to eat/cinema/theatre tickets/decent holidays etc. Grin.

Egosumquisum · 08/08/2015 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ouryve · 08/08/2015 21:04

If you're planning on home edding, then you'll need resources and you'll need the funds to visit the places where your kids can do stuff that's not just on the dining table and see things for themselves. You might eventually want to make use of Internet based classes in subjects where you're not so clued up (like financial planning, maybe).

And they don't stay tiny and breastfed forever. I have a 9yo and an 11yo and they have insatiable appetites. 11yo needs to eat every hour on the hour and is as thin as a rake - and growing out of clothes regularly. Not much decent charity shop stuff for boys in size 13 and decent, supportive (yes, they sometimes turn out to have needs which make them even more expensive than other kids) and acceptable adult sized shoes cost a fortune.

Ragwort · 08/08/2015 21:09

We've managed to save considerably since having DC - hopefully towards university costs. Grin

Reading this thread I seem to have the only teenager in the UK who doesn't have a huge appetite, despite being very sporty.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 08/08/2015 21:09

OP you are a SAHM. Already the 8mo has cost you your salary. And this is yearly until you decide to go back to work.

grandmaster11 · 08/08/2015 21:14

I agree with ragwort. I don't believe people need to be constantly eating

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 08/08/2015 21:14

If you have a boy one thing in particular- the food! Sweet Mary and Jesus THE FOOD!!!!

Artandco · 08/08/2015 21:15

Rag - my son is 4. If he looses his shoes/ swim shorts at school he can hardly pay for them himself. He's 4, yes he should look after his stuff but seeing as he is young it's something that is bound to happen. I would buy him the same pair to replace say lost school trainers as wouldn't want him uncomfortable with bad fitting old shoes.

Children don't need stuff as in material stuff of course. And ours have very few toys as I believe this ( and space). However for us experiences cost lots of money. As I child I had fun playing on grass most the time, but it didn't teach me anything, and I was regularly bored. Then had to learn everything I missed as a child when I became an adult.
Therefore we give our children lots of experiences. Through everything from basic beach days, to boat trips, travel to new places, meeting new people and cultures, seeing history and nature and art. All this costs considerably

grandmaster11 · 08/08/2015 21:21

We do a local boat trip which is £2 a head, and it is return trip of 10 miles. Travel to the beach is expensive if you aren't close to one but once you are there it i free.We have museums and lots of events on for free.

I am taking the children to a free donkey sanctuary this week. I find a lot of information on facebook or the internet.

CaptainHolt · 08/08/2015 21:26

I don't think 9 pairs of shoes is that outrageous. In secondary dcs need indoor trainers, outdoor trainers, astro boots and ordinary school shoes. They also have 'home' trainers, wellies, and sandals/flip flops. DD1 has boots as well as as wellies and converse as well as trainers, ds1 has toms as well as trainers and sandals and has walking boots (for walking) and climbing shoes (for climbing).

They don't need them all but they would need 5 pairs just to be able to wear non school shoes at home and that wouldn't cover any wet weather boots or any 'speciality' sports shoes. Wellies do tend to get handed down but most other shoes are wrecked (did manage to hand down football boots and ballet shoes when they were younger)

Artandco · 08/08/2015 21:26

Grand - well that's grand, but for us nearest boat trip is £18 each . That's £70+ for all of us on river. If we go to the sea/ beach that's x4 train tickets (£50 ish). We don't mind paying this at all, I'm just saying I think things like this growing up are important so the costs def add up just on ' experiences', rather than just stuff like clothes/ toys.
We have no donkeys around here..

PurpleCrazyHorse · 08/08/2015 21:28

Childcare if you're in work, or go back to work. It doesn't cost much less when it's just before and after school either. We paid more in CM costs a month (for 3 days a week) than our mortgage! I'm now a SAHM

School trips, uniform, shoes, activities. We buy supermarket school uniform and luckily she doesn't have to have logo-ed stuff either. I sometimes buy a decent branded (Next, M&S) cardigan for school via eBay or similar as they do seem to last well. DD asks to do things which of course we don't have to do but it's nice to do something during the school holidays

DD is nearly 6yo and doesn't mind second hand clothes or toys, I'm sure as she gets older she will express a preference for new. I hope I'll encourage in her a sense of bargain hunting, but teenagers are going to want to shop in New Look with their friends.

Holidays. Okay, possibly a luxury, but it's expensive to go in the school holidays. Holidays were cheaper and easier with a pre-schooler. DD now costs to get into places, wants to go to places and again, if we stop for a snack/cake/drink, she also wants one (at usually an adult price).

Food. DD is hungry a fair bit and we encourage her to eat fruit/veg for snacks. That is one of the most expensive bits of our shopping!

grandmaster11 · 08/08/2015 21:30

I expect the op is in a cheaper area so it will be a divided issue. You could easily raise a family of 5 on 2k here.

dementedma · 08/08/2015 21:31

9 pairs of shoes? Ds has school shoes, astro trainers and a pair of canvas kick abouts. Even adding in boots/wellies for winter that only makes 4 pairs.

Chchchchanging · 08/08/2015 21:31

Childcare (£1k per month per child, the governments laughable £6k full time place marker for tax relief going forwards will also make this worse)
Loss of earnings during maternity leave
Loss of earning due to career progression slowing
Cost of activity and education support...
The nappies and formula do t even start on the costs...

grandmaster11 · 08/08/2015 21:37

My dc have school shoes and home shoes (usually dolly shoes). I will probably get them trainers soon but they always wear dresses so not much point right now. I suppose I am not counting those £2 pe pumps all the children wear.

Artandco · 08/08/2015 21:38

Ds1 has to have school black shoes, school trainers, school plimsoles and school welling tons. All have to stay at school ( black ones on his feet). So 4 pairs of shoes just for school. Easily 9 pairs including home shoes for summer, winter, rain