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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask why having kids is expensive?

561 replies

HodgePodge23 · 08/08/2015 15:06

What do you need to buy them apart from toys, food, clothes and a few other bits and bobs here and there? I have an 8 month old so maybe things will get more expensive with time, but I really don't understand why people say having children is expensive. What are people spending their money on?

OP posts:
var123 · 08/08/2015 21:42

Childcare, clothes, toys, bikes (3 each so far), daytrips (entry fees for all of you even though you are only going to accompany the kids), extra plane tickets, family rooms in hotels, presents for their friends, a bigger house, a bigger car, electronic games, books, £3k on braces, private educational assessments, school trips, holidays in peak season only.. those are some of the things off the top of my head.

The cot and baby car seat were only the beginning of a very expensive journey....!

Today, I spent a mere £130 on school shoes (and crossed my fingers that they'd last at least until Christmas). Tomorrow, I'll find out if the trainers and football boots need replaced too since both my two have gone up a shoe size (again).

montserratSang · 08/08/2015 21:51

All of the above plus DCs are both Coeliac. So a pack of 4 crumpets cost 2 quid. My monthly shop is about 75 quid more expensive post diagnosis even though they get some gf stuff on prescription.

Sallystyle · 08/08/2015 21:57

8 months old cost very little.

Try having five children, two of them teens.

School shoes cost in the region of £150 uniform £100 twice a year at least. School equipment. Food costs a bomb, especially for teens.

A day out to the zoo or something? A fortune. School trips, fetes, the list goes on and on.

I am not complaining btw but that is why it is expensive for me.

drinkscabinet · 08/08/2015 22:00

If you have a boy one thing in particular- the food! Sweet Mary and Jesus THE FOOD!!!!

Not just boys. The DDs (6&7) are at a Sports club (£60 per week per child, absolute bargain TBH) during the summer holidays. They cycle about 2 miles there with DH, spent the day doing sports, come home (sometimes cycle, sometimes in the car depending on which of DH and me pick them up) and then decide they want to do yoga (Cosmic Yoga Kids channel on youtube, it's fab). Surprisingly enough after all that activity they eat masses. And they are both tiny, heaven help me if they grew lots as well as never staying still.

Anyway OP, it all comes down to the same major cost. Children need to be cared for and either you give up your salary and do it yourself or you carry on working and pay someone else to do it. Which you choose to do will depend on how good your salary is, if you spend more on childcare than you can earn then you will probably stop working. If you earn more than your childcare costs you will continue working. But either way it's a big cost in comparison to being child free, my single DB was horrified when we told him our childcare costs were larger than our mortgage.

And sure, there are cheap days out and you can buy clothes in the sales/second hand (of course, you need the time to search for decent second hand clothes) but those are not really big savings in the grand scheme of things. This stage of life is expensive, but thankfully my Mum tells me being retired and living on your own is really cheap in comparison (and she seems to have holidays all the time)!

verystressedmum · 08/08/2015 22:05

I have 2 teenage daughters and an 8 year old son, I am SKINT they cost a fortune.

Christinayanglah · 08/08/2015 22:11

Feckin Harrache trainers

BoffinMum · 08/08/2015 22:16

It's the cost of breakfast cereal that has rendered me a broken woman.

Christinayanglah · 08/08/2015 22:18

Boffin

Grin
Egosumquisum · 08/08/2015 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngieBolen · 08/08/2015 22:32

When mine were little they were cheap....once I wasn't working having a 3rd child wasn't going to make much difference was it....except she's now 10yo and wants to do every extra curricular activity going gets invited to hundreds of parties, for which I have to provide a gift and destroys clothes like there is no tomorrow. Also holidays are more expensive and school bus fares and school trips and haircuts and days out.

The one reason I might not have had 3 DC is cost. I'm so glad I didn't realise they would be this expensive.

I do look forward to the day I can spend my earnings in me, and not my DC.

MaxieMouse · 08/08/2015 22:50

Boffin Grin
so true

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 08/08/2015 22:56

You only have to look at DD friends to understand the difference in child prices. One friend gets everything. New laptop, new wardrobe 4 times a year dependant on season, latest phone etc. Other friend has a horse, skating lessons and music classes, another is lucky to get fed regularly. She comes for tea - never a return invite and i would put that on her mother anyway. All loved, all pleasant, great friends, just they cost different amounts.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 08/08/2015 22:57

*wouldnt

Want2bSupermum · 08/08/2015 23:04

boffin My kids have cheerios only and they are purchased in Costco. I dread the day they find out there are more cereals out there.

BoffinMum · 09/08/2015 05:20

Cookie Crisp, Cinnamon Crunch, Crave and Coco Pops are the devil's work. £2.99 a box for adulterated sugared cardboard, and their mother's nice porridge is rejected outright.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 09/08/2015 05:38

You probably have acceptable state schools so you're lucky but make sure you do a proper research on your area - we have awful ones so we have to go down the private route

Also sometimes NHS doesn't understand your urgency so you might have to seek private medical help which costs a fortune
On top of everything else that the other ladies mentioned add these two up and you have no money to buy new knickers with even Primark ones

mrsplum2015 · 09/08/2015 06:22

Hmm I used to think like you and I was working so paying for childcare and I thought having children would only get cheaper once they were at school and the childcare costs stopped!

Sadly I was very wrong Grin we have 3dc now and life is sooooo expensive. One competes in sport at a national level (eye wateringly expensive) and even without that we have the clothes, the food, the activities, school money for this and that. Every time we so much as go for a coffee it's a drink each and often something to eat for the dc. When they were toddlers it was a coffee each for dh and I with their water cups and a little snack in my bag, zero spend!

Please don't under estimate how much they cost as they get older. I'm sure home Ed will be more expensive as you'll need to take them out to groups, activities etc.

LocatingLocatingLocating · 09/08/2015 06:57

When my DCs were under 5, I used to buy their birthday/Xmas presents from the sales/discount stores. There was always plenty of choice, and the DCs weren't picky and were excited to have lots of different things.
Now they just want heelys, iPad, Xbox etc.

Eating out costs almost double. Cinema trips can require a remortgage. School uniform for 2 or 3 DCs is really expensive. Clothes get trashed, toys/electronic items get broken. Trips to theme parks are ridiculously expensive, as are many other days out.

There are of course ways to cut costs, if you have the time and energy.

AngieBolen · 09/08/2015 08:20

BoffinMum my kids can tell if I give them "fake" coco pops.

AngieBolen · 09/08/2015 08:23

DS1 is about to start A'levels

He needs a £40 calculator and a laptop on top of all other school supplies this year. And probably a load of book.

When do I stop having to pay for him?

This is a serious question....

grandmaster11 · 09/08/2015 08:26

It's how you raise them. My daughter goes into shops and says 'I could get this a lit cheaper on ebay'. She is only 8. She has an osper card and she has a fiver a week deposited on it. She is very good with money.

SoupDragon · 09/08/2015 08:27

I have an 8 month old

That explains why you don't understand it :)

I'm planning on home educating anyway so that won't be an issue I guess.

You will have to buy all the equipment, pay for trips, books etc etc. I doubt HE is cheaper than state education.

Ha I must be bloody naive.

Yes, just like every other parent of a single young baby :)

Egosumquisum · 09/08/2015 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamArcatiAgain · 09/08/2015 08:35

Teens are the most expensive age.food,clothes, home to school transport at 16+,food, curriculum residential, university visits and support, driving lessons, extra curricular hobbies as they start taking themore seriously, food, holidays,driving lessons

HearTheThunderRoar · 09/08/2015 08:38

I am currently forking out $20 (£10) per week for DD's (16) physio appointments as she's got shin splints through hockey. Not to mention the $250 hockey membership, inc uniform and $70 hockey bag + $40 skins for under her uniform.

Also this year have have paid $110 (£55) for a new swim suit and $150 (£75) pool membership fee for a year as she is a regular swimmer.

Mind you, I rarely buy DD branded clothes, thats a massive treat for her. Or pay her gym membership fee (she can go for a run round the block) or netflix subscription. Those sorts of things come out of her pocket money or her job, ditto cinema trips with friends etc.