to ask why having kids is expensive?

[HodgePodge23]

What do you need to buy them apart from toys, food, clothes and a few other bits and bobs here and there? I have an 8 month old so maybe things will get more expensive with time, but I really don't understand why people say having children is expensive. What are people spending their money on?

Housing costs are huge, and then the furniture, desks, Where we live for an average house, its £30K per extra bedroom, then there the day trips, ice cream, ice skating £40 panto was £100, swimming £6 each, Dd has trainers, school shoes plus astros, then needs boots and trainers for outside school. Clothes they grow quick.

Yes you are niave!

Teenagers eat their body weight in food every day. They grow out of everything in a few weeks, secondary school uniform for two (one of everything only) cost me upwards of 599 quid - and they have the audacity to outgrow it halfway through a term !!! kicking a football around involves transport, kit, home subs, away subs, food on the go (in addition to the huge meal they had before they left and the ginormous bowl of cereal they will eat on their return) not to mention all the extra washing from said activity. Oh and you had better hope they aren't any good at it because if they excel there are the extra sessions, competitions, more matches.

The cost of clothes and shoes when your 13 year old is 6ft tall. Oh and the products needed to de-zit and de-fuzz a 15 year old who needs a shave before school.

And if you think state school is free then think again! Equipment, books, extra curricular activities, sponsor stuff, lunches, cookery lessons, school trips, the list is endless.

And a that is before the family stuff, birthdays, Christmas, rewards, pocket money, leisure stuff.

But what I can't understand is how people can't know this stuff already?

The most expensive bit for me so far is that number 2 decided to bring along another sibling at the same time. They're not even here yet, but my God, the cost of enough stuff for twins is incredible. Spent enough last time and thought I could use it all again and not buy loads more! Dreading the music/sports lessons in the future. Secretly hoping they're lazy and don't want to do any of that!

I wish I was one of the mnetters on £100k.

You either pay for childcare, or you have a loss of income. There is no real way around that except for the few people who have a private income or high earning DP and who wouldn't have worked even if they hadn't had dcs. There are very few SAHPs who wouldn't have earned anything in the years that their dcs need some sort of childcare if they hadn't have had dcs anyway.

You can 'save' money by never eating out or going on holiday or having trips out, but again, there are very few childless people who would never do these things so they are a real expense. 2 weeks in the algarve for 2 in June is cheaper than 2 weeks for 4 in August even before you've factored in new clothes (for the people who have grown out of their old ones) and food and ice cream etc. 'Family' tickets are more expensive than single tickets too.

Bus fares, uniform, food, and clothes for children who grow like weeds (unfortunately 15 & 16 yr olds aren't as accepting of charity shop gear as younger children), swimming fees, money to go on trips out with friends, ice creams, bats & balls, bikes, phones, shoes and coats for children who grow like weeds, school residentials, club fees for football, diesel to take them to matches, swimming galas, holidays...

We try to keep our costs down, but two teens, who are both taller than me, are quite expensive to keep.

Of course you could always do what my exp does and just pay the minimum CSA. His children cost him barely anything, he even has the luxury of both a career and no childcare costs. so i suppose having kids is as expensive or cheap as you want it to be

For us it is me not being able to work and the other obvious and not so obvious expenses of having a child with disabilities.

Surely if you home educate that has still cost you in the long run - you won't be able to walk back into a well earning job 15+ years down the line having had a huge career break like that? So there is your expense - loss of future income.

That is a good point Surly even looking at the bigger picture - it costs more for women on average than men (by that I mean women more likely to take career break, women name up higher proportion of single parents etc)

SurlyCue

Yes, I guess it is cheap if people are like your exp.
I suppose the point I was making is that of course the needs add up, but lots of parents believe that dc are just expensive, irrespective of their choices.
We have spend so much money on music lessons, far more than all dds friends parents. Some of them have spent money on ballet or designer clothes and gadgets.
If you haven't got the money to do these things then the dc can't have them, the same as uni costs. Some dc have no alternative but to fund themselves.
Hence my point of dc being as expensive as you can afford/ will allow/ choose etc.

Definitely the loss of salary. We weighed up the cost of full time childcare against me working school hours and it just about balances itself out over the year. Before doing this we paid £500 a month for six years as one child attended nursery consecutively after the other.

I have a 20 yr old and a 4 yr old. The small one costs us very little apart from one full-time income as my DP is a stay-at-home dad. As the other posters have mentioned it's the later years when the cost becomes heavy. There was an 18 month period when the eldest really couldn't live at home anymore but didn't quite have the funds to cover all costs. Why an independent 18 yr old is paid less than an independent 21 yr old i'll never understand. The point is, that short time cost around 8,000 euro (and the eldest really knows how to live cheaply so I can't imagine what a less thrifty young person would cost their parents).

Enjoy this inexpensive first decade or two, and save the pennies.

I'm already thinking about a time when the only way the eldest will be able to afford a home is for us to chip in 5 figures. And yes, I am extremely grateful that we live a life where this is possible. But that doesn't make it cheaper.

When they start school the extras start to add up. They have clothes for home but then usually need a school uniform, and the pe kit. I have 2 sons and am a SAHM with a medical condition so no return to work for me.

Ds1 just finished year 7 (first year) of secondary school. Ds2 just finished year 4.

So Ds2's school jumper is £3 from Asda, Ds1's was £15

Shoes for Ds1 who was in adult size 5 at aged 11
school shoes £48
trainers for school £28
football boots £27 & compulsory
shoes for home, pair of converse £28
sandals £20
total £151

He'll need all that again for next year as his feet have grown. Clothing starts to cost more as it contains more fabric. He eats a lot of food!

They get hugely more expensive as they get older. My 3 teenage ds's ( 16, 14, and 12) all are huge, take men sized clothes and shoes, eat adult meals at a restaurant, it's like having 5 adults in the house. School uniforms, trips, school bags, money to go out with friends, football subs, scouts subs, swiming lessons when they were younger, a bigger car ( and it's still not big enough!). I have paid out in excess of £500 this year alone in school trips.

Of course they cost:

Your a stay at home mum - that's an entire annual salary you loose surely. Otherwise you would be working - say £30,000 a year

Home educating - you still need to educate, cost of resources, annual passes to historical/ science/ study places, extra craft materials, packages online, pay per exam taken.

Housing - as a single Person or couple you can live forever for a 1 bed. Most people with children have a larger house and the costs associated

Entry to anywhere. Swimming/ natural trusts/ museums/ cinema. Eating out costs more. Flights/ trains/ buses

Eating in general

Driving lessons, for two tens, new bed, carpet & wardrobe for daughter!

I have a 2.5 year old and yes she costs us money...im a sahm so a loss of 30k p/a since she was born. BUT I fully expected it and fully expect it to get more expensive. I'm enjoying every minute...we chose to have her (and the one on the way!) So im not about to start complaining about what she costs me ffs!! It is currently one of my per hates in life....having to listen to parents complain about the cost of kids. School costs especially!! The rep of Ireland costs for school are waaaay more...the UK has it easy!!!

I remember when I had an 8 month old who wasn't expensive other than childcare costs, which were fixed, so no hidden expenses.

My 5 year old is just on the cusp of becoming more expensive eg

School uniform - he's a boy, so it will need replacing because he's dragged himself over the floor and got holes in his trousers.

Microwave - he microwaved some dry cereal when I wasn't looking and so we had to replace it as it broke.

Don't get my me started on the constant grazing.

Dd is preschool age so still fairly cheap, but she has to have what her brother has,...

DC's 12;8;4 .......Spent approx 120k on childcare over the past 11 years
Roughly 1k per month on average.
I can't see how we will spend that on the kids ' hobbies etc so I think we're going to save money (hope so) until dc1 goes to uni
Between that and a 1k per month mortgage payment ..... Skint wouldn't cover it

Some of this thread is silly. Obviously, you don't have to - and can't - spend on your children what someone with a household income of £100k spends if you have an income of £50k or £25k or £15k.

But everyone wants the best for their children and will spend an amount that's commensurate with their lifestyle. So however much you earn, you'll have to pay for food, clothes (and shoes), transport, housing, entertainment, education, holidays, savings, treats and emergencies that are in line with your own income and expectations. You'll be, almost inevitably, one income down for at least a short while, but with another mouth to feed. And that's just for one child.

Yes, you can live in a tent in the woods and weave all your own clothes. For the rest of us, kids are a major, major expense.

You have an 8 month old come back in 10 years and say it again.

Mine turned out to have a talent in a certain sport.

Coaching fees, competition fees, outfits, petrol, all add up to more than the mortgage.

Dc is too young yet to know if they have a similar level of talent, but obviously we have to give them the same opportunities for activities.

Our once a week, fun hobby has turned into a full time job for Dc1 and I.

Aw, bless you, OP, you are very naive! Did you think we were all spending it on Haribo's?

Essentials
Childcare (thousands & thousands of pounds per year) - we had two children in nursery for a couple of years, this wiped us out
Shoes
Food
School trips & school uniform

Optionals:
Music lessons
Swimming lessons
Birthdays & Christmas

DS1 is only 9 but eats like a horse, is the size of a 13 year old and wears size 7 shoes. And grows what seems like an inch a month, so his trousers are forever falling out with his shoes and needing replacing. Clothing and shoes are extortionate. Having a permanently full fruit and veg rack isn't cheap.

Sports and after school clubs cost money. Both DCs love horse riding and are very good, the cost of that is enormous. They both have swimming lessons. DS1 has a tutor once a week. We paid privately for all of his operations so that he was seen as quickly as possible (he has hearing problems). I get that it was our choice to go private, we're lucky we had the capacity to do so, but that's still a huge expense.

We put money aside for them each month so that we can send them to Uni and help with driving lessons/cars when the time comes. We save into our personal accounts each month knowing full well it's probably going to be used for deposits on their future homes because how else could they afford their own homes.

Seriously, nursery fees are the tip of the iceberg.