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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask why having kids is expensive?

561 replies

HodgePodge23 · 08/08/2015 15:06

What do you need to buy them apart from toys, food, clothes and a few other bits and bobs here and there? I have an 8 month old so maybe things will get more expensive with time, but I really don't understand why people say having children is expensive. What are people spending their money on?

OP posts:
shushpenfold · 09/08/2015 11:24

Grin Laughed out loud at that one!! What is it with coats and teenagers.....Grin

shushpenfold · 09/08/2015 11:25

That was for Ragwort by the way.

Christinayanglah · 09/08/2015 11:50

The day to day things I don't find that expensive but we have chosen to spend our many in other ways, private school, money put aside for university and property that for the meantime we rent out but will eventually go to him as I worry how the kids of today are ever going to get on the property ladder

Christinayanglah · 09/08/2015 11:54

We also give him pocket money and if he wants something such as a new game then he has to contribute 50/ of the cost. We deliberately give him pocket money on a monthly basis so that if he spends it in the first week he knows that he is stuck for the rest of the month. My Dh and I are both financially secure but we make it clear to ds that it is our money and we have worked hard for it and he will need to do the same for his

AlexisL · 09/08/2015 12:04

Like a lot of other posters have said, your child is only a baby, when he/she is older you'll realise how much cost is actsully involved. I myself have three children age 14, 11 and 4 and the amount of money i spend on them feeding, clothing and all the extras is astronomical!

For starters we as a family go through around £700-£800 worth of food each month. All three will be at school come September, they all needed new everything so it has just cost me close to £1000 to kit them all out including shoes ?and coats, then there are dinner monies which currently cost me £100 per month, then school trips, pocket money, hair cuts, clothes for teenagers aren't cheap. They do 9 activities between them ie football, rugby, brownies, swimming lessons etc and these each month alone cost me around £240. It's cheap and cheerful when children are young and will eat anything, wear anything but when they're older and have more choice about what they like and don't like it becomes a lot more expensive.

MuffMuffTweetAndDave · 09/08/2015 12:13

Why should I say that DD costs me half my salary because I work part-time? If I did not have children I may have jacked in my job and gone backpacking round China or something, and earned nothing.

And if you did that, it is backpacking round China that would've cost you your salary instead. The exact same principle, just different activities. If you do something instead of earning an income, that activity is costing you your income. The only exceptions to this are people caring for children who for various reasons wouldn't have ever been in the workforce for any of the time they spend SAH, even if they didn't have them. Could be trailing spouses, parents without visas allowing them to work, people too ill to work, people who are unemployable or people who were homemakers supported by a spouse or family member even before kids. That all happens, but such people are a minority. For everyone else, however you want to describe it and whatever semantic considerations you might raise, they are losing income if they SAH. This also applies to HEing. And this is one of the major costs of having children.

With that said, it doesn't apply to quite everyone. Some people have free childcare for the whole of the time they work, and obviously there are the aforementioned group of people who wouldn't be in employment whether they had children to care for or not.

MuffMuffTweetAndDave · 09/08/2015 12:21

I also echo the points about how your kids are only as expensive as you want them to be up to a point. Yeah, you can decide to only shop at Aldi, use the cheapest childcare available, not run a car or whatever other economies might be available to you (with the caveat that lots of these things won't be an option for everyone). But you don't get to decide whether you get one who eats like a bird or one who eats like an army. You don't get to decide whether the subsequent child/ren will fit into the clothes the 1st one had. You don't get to decide if your child's feet will be too wide to fit into the cheapest shoes. You don't get to decide whether their growth is nice and evenly spread so you get to buy uniforms and clothes at conveniently regularised points, or if they'll unexpectedly fit it all into 12 months and bankrupt you on shoes for that year.

Namelesswonder · 09/08/2015 12:38

For NHS to fund braces there has to be a medical requirement - cosmetic requirement isn't enough.

SoupDragon · 09/08/2015 12:39

shush - I've never known a teenage boy to actually wear a winter coat so there should be a saving there.

Both mine wear coats. Voluntarily. As do lots of their friends.

Donnadoon · 09/08/2015 12:39

food
food
and....food
Oh and shoes Grin

AuditAngel · 09/08/2015 12:39

We have 3 DC, I once started adding up lost earnings and childcare (before we had DC3) and I stopped counting at £80,000

DS was 11 yesterday. He needed a new bike £180 (I wanted to spend up to £120 so he has contributed birthday money to cover the balance) he needs a new helmet, has a £25 Amazon voucher we'll try to use.

DS's new uniform us expected to cost £300 ish, excluding shirts/trousers (I hope the current ones still fit) plus he needs new shoes/trainers and maybe other sports equipment.

DD2 starts school, she needs uniform (DD1's fiest uniform was too small then she jumped a size).

3 pairs of school shoes, probably £40-45 each, plus trainers/plimsolls/shoes for outside school.....

Also 2 out of the 3 need new dancing shoes.

Clubs...swimming £75 a month, dancing £110 per half term, karate £5 per class

AndNowItsSeven · 09/08/2015 12:40

Yes my child will receive free braces her overbite is 8mm. That was my point, braces are free if necessary otherwise they are cosmetic so obviously not free.

AndNowItsSeven · 09/08/2015 12:42

urethra , you don't need to be so snotty. The majority of posters are in the Uk.

AuditAngel · 09/08/2015 12:42

Oh, and 8 yo DD never stops eating. I'm praying for a growth spurt (hopefully before I buy her school shoes) in the hope her eating will slow down.

DS eats as much as I do

HearTheThunderRoar · 09/08/2015 12:51

I have to pay $5.5k for braces for DD here (NZ - pay for healthcare) and considering I am single parent on $52k it is a lot of money. She really needed them and thankfully I can just afford them.

whattheseithakasmean · 09/08/2015 12:55

On the subject of dentistry, if you want white fillings, you pay - only amalgam on the NHS except for front teeth.

Glasses - if your child is v shortsighted, you have to pay extra for thin lenses - only thick lenses on the NHS. If your teenager wants contact lenses, look at 25 pounds per month for those. Mobile phones - even cheap contracts will be a tenner a month, 2 teenagers, double it. Driving lessons. University cost - the student loan isn't enough to live on. Yes, they can get a job, but they also need to study.

Having a nice life is expensive with children. I am back to work full time so my girls don't have to scrape by on the minimum, I want to be in a position to help them out.

Christinayanglah · 09/08/2015 12:57

Bloody hell, who knew braces were so expensive

LittleMissStubborn · 09/08/2015 13:08

I think I just might cry at what I have to look 'forwards' to. Mine are currently 9,7&3 so on the whole not too bad, but I worry lots about future costs. And even if dh goes back to work when the youngest starts school, holiday childcare will still take a significant cut of earnings.

mrsplum2015 · 09/08/2015 13:21

Don't agree with ragwort. My dd competes in a sport and that costs 100 per month training without any of the additional "big" costs of equipment etc (maybe another 50 per month averaged over the year, or more) . And we can write those off as Christmas /birthday presents as there are additional big ticket items she wants/needs.

Then there are other activities she does, and school trips etc, clothes, general equipment such as new bike every now and then, technical equipment such as laptop or tablet for homework use. Plus I have two more dc.

It seriously is expensive and I don't particularly choose to give my dc loads of treats/extras.

Becauseicannes · 09/08/2015 13:29

the f*cking dentist trips :(

whattheseithakasmean · 09/08/2015 13:37

If it all seems cheap when they are babies, then start saving now, is my advice for anyone with young children. We set up savings plans for both our children, to mature at age 18. Although not loads, it does cushion the cost of University, somewhat. If they weren't going to Uni, could be a deposit on a flat/business start up.

They are your children - start thinking now about how you are going to be able to help them make their way into the world. Don't congratulate yourself your baby costs nothing and fail to appreciate that will not always be the case. Take action now, you will be very glad you did in 18 years time.

GaryBaldy · 09/08/2015 13:40

Off the top of my head in the last 6 weeks or so the DCs (teen and pre-teen) have cost

£400 school trip
£450 school trip
£150ish for clothes for above trips (Primark so not expensive)

Replacement retainers for DS - yes his orthodontic treatment was free for which we are grateful but he grinds his teeth and wore through his retainers - they are £130 a set and will need to be replaced every 6/12 months

Leavers book, hoodie and prom - £100, plus suit for prom £100

DS injured himself on an activity week and had to have his £60 vans cut off him by the paramedics

DD new school uniform £170

They're just adhoc things, regular outgoings like £40 per month dancing, £10 each mobile phone top-ups, food, socialising, toiletries etc etc

grandmaster11 · 09/08/2015 14:31

I agree with saving for the future. We save the cb for them as we feel it is their money to do what they wish with when they are older. Hopefully they can put it towards a house deposit

ArseForElbow · 09/08/2015 14:37

Broken x box controller, broken x box headset, food, more food, school clothes for 15 yr old is over £200 alone with his Samba trainers £67, 3 pairs of black jeans £100 (only non designer ones he has the others are £60/70 a pair) I could go on and on and that's just clothing them and the money I have spent in the past week.

Loafliner · 09/08/2015 14:37

Having to holiday during school holidays, added to that a couple of extra seats on the plane, it has a big impact on us - we like to travel. School trips, school dinners etc. Shoes - my dcs have awkward feet, so I need to get them very well made shoes - last pair cost £75. And they need a supply of extras like trainers, wellies, hillwalking boots.