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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask why having kids is expensive?

561 replies

HodgePodge23 · 08/08/2015 15:06

What do you need to buy them apart from toys, food, clothes and a few other bits and bobs here and there? I have an 8 month old so maybe things will get more expensive with time, but I really don't understand why people say having children is expensive. What are people spending their money on?

OP posts:
waitaminutenow · 09/08/2015 14:43

I've commented on this thread already but I am suddenly soooooo grateful for the trustfunds our children have for university from grandparents. (1 not even born yet) and the fact that we have no mortgage to think of....phew!!

But as for the helping throughout uni. My parents paid my rent (university in rep of Ireland was free so no fees) I worked 3 shifts a week in a restaurant so that was my food/living money. No reason why students can't work a few shifts in my eyes...if they can take time to have a night out then they can work!!!

whattheseithakasmean · 09/08/2015 14:47

No reason why students shouldn't work, but also no reason why their parents shouldn't work to help them out as well - we are not all mortgage free with trust funds, lovely though that would be. I graft hard for my children's future - it wasn't handed to me on a plate and I would like to make their lives a bit easier than mine was.

SurlyCue · 09/08/2015 14:49

I think OP should print out her OP and wrap her debit card in it then put it back in her purse. Then every time she has to spent on her child as the years go on she'll be reminded of this simpler time and the bliss that was her ignorance Grin

Christinayanglah · 09/08/2015 14:53

Surly

Love it

Egosumquisum · 09/08/2015 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleeponeday · 09/08/2015 15:04

It's cheap as chips when they are small. Starts to cost when they get to school age. And I am reliably told that teenagers cost as much, if not more, as adults, because they eat more (need to, growing) clothes cost almost the same as adult but must be replaced every time the weather changes (can't wear old clothes, as growing) and they have a huge amount of peer pressure for all sorts of things, too... plus school trips, and the need for technology if you want them to have social lives (phone, access to the internet) and school (a lot of school work is online now, so they need at least access to a PC and preferably their own laptop).

I'm a big believer in second hand, and resisting peer pressure and commercialism. My DS has no game system and we don't subscribe to any tv packages - Freeview all the way. He's too small to need tech yet other than ours, too. But he has started to cost a lot more - even a visit to a soft play with his peers, or a birthday present for a good schoolfriend adds up. And he eats his own bodyweight, it feels some days.

SurlyCue · 09/08/2015 15:07

I have to laugh at the person who had no rent or fees to pay at university somehow assuming todays or tomorrows students are expecting to rest on their laurels! Grin why on earth do you think they wouldnt be doing "a few shifts"? Is it because it was optional for you?

sleeponeday · 09/08/2015 15:08

Yes, that did amuse me somewhat. Especially as the comment began with gratitude for their kids' uni trust funds... not really understanding the concerns of the majority, I suspect.

SurlyCue · 09/08/2015 15:12

My eldest is 10 and we arent a particularly tall family. However if you go to my local shop at lunchtime during school term you will find it populated by giants. Some of which i know are only 12/13! It really does shock me at how massive (tall not obese) some teens are and i feel so sorry for their parents having to keep them well nourished! It must cost an absolute fortune. (Especially as they all seem to be eating out of the hot food bar in the shop! Grin)

fourtothedozen · 09/08/2015 15:17

Thankfully no University fees here. I expect to be a little better off once kids start Uni, although they will be staying at home.

Christinayanglah · 09/08/2015 15:19

Ds has just informed me that him and his friend are going to try breathing through their ears, so I'm no longer sure that university fees are really going to be an issue

SurlyCue · 09/08/2015 15:27

Grin christina

fourtothedozen · 09/08/2015 15:28

England needs to scrap University fees.

SurlyCue · 09/08/2015 15:35

NI's are much less than England's but yes, scrap them too. In time for september when i start would be great Grin

SaveMeBarry · 09/08/2015 15:44

I suspect that the part time jobs that in the past might have been available for students are less easy to come by these days what with zero hour contracts and plenty of adults taking on extra evening or weekend jobs to top up low wages. A lot of teens nowadays may struggle to find anything beyond occasional babysitting.

waitaminutenow · 09/08/2015 15:49

It wasn't a boast....it was an announcement of how I feel grateful.

And as for students working...the ones I know actually don't work.

And for the record I personally haven't had everything handed to me on a plate!!! My parents worked hard to provide for me and im well aware of that. And I in turn worked hard to get where I am and provide for my children. Trustfunds or not!!!

whattheseithakasmean · 09/08/2015 15:57

Of course you have had things handed to you on a plate - your parents paid your rent and your grandparents set up trust funds for your children. You are very fortunate - at least recognise the fact.

SurlyCue · 09/08/2015 15:58

Good point barry. I have seen a lot of jobs advertised recently stating "not suitable for students" although i suspect they might not be allowed to say that because i have seen others stating "this is a permanent post and not suitable for anyone who wont be around for periods during the year" (ie xmas/easter/summer)

waitaminutenow · 09/08/2015 16:05

whatthe read my words....I said 'everything' handed to me on a plate. And thats exactly what I just did...did I not...I acknowledged what I did have 'handed to me'. T&c's were included in my parents paying my rent...If I may add.

ExConstance · 09/08/2015 16:12

If you have two once they get to around 11+ they eat andn their clothes cost about the same as an adult - so it is like doubling your expenditure on nearly everything.

Taytocrisps · 09/08/2015 16:20

"It's cheap as chips when they are small."

Not my experience. I lost part of my salary as I dropped to part-time hours. I also had to pay childcare for the days I did work.

When DD started school I had to pay for school books (not a consideration for you in the UK), school uniform, misc. stationery items for school such as copies, pencils, crayons etc. DD's social life took off and I had to pay for a lot of birthday presents. These were optional obviously. I could have kept DD home and told her she wasn't going to any birthday parties I would have felt very mean though. Having discovered birthday parties, DD naturally wanted some herself although I never opted for the whole class parties. After school activities entered our lives. Again, these are optional - I could have kept DD home and not brought her to any.

Along the way there were nappies, food, clothes, shoes, birthday presents (for DD), Christmas presents, Easter eggs, holidays, school tours, day trips etc.

I wonder what the teenage years will bring?

fourtothedozen · 09/08/2015 16:25

Not my experience.

You will look back and see how inexpensive these years have been.

DDs dance costs me £200 a month.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 09/08/2015 16:27

because they damage everything: clothes, walls, furniture, carpets, mattreses, toys, books.
they chew holes in brand new jumpers, lose their brand new PE kits (over 100 quid to replace in trainers), spill things and break things.
you need to pay for food, travel to school when older, music lessons, swimmimg lessons, replace uniforms & shoes every 4-6 m, fix the screens on mobiles and tablets and laptops even more often.
and there are holidays, child care, birthdays & parties & Christmas

it's insane

fourtothedozen · 09/08/2015 16:30

because they damage everything: clothes, walls, furniture, carpets, mattreses, toys, books.

Really? How do your kids damage stuff?

PacificDogwood · 09/08/2015 16:33

HodgePodge, bless you, you made my day Grin

I have 4 DS, the oldest is 12.
As soon as one meal is cleared away, he is looking for more food. Or a snack, or a 'treat', or 'something to eat' aka chocolate, or dinner. Sometimes he comes and asks when dinner is going to be about half an hour after dinner - yes, he is almost a teen, his shoes are 2 sizes bigger than mine, he could do with a shave (Shock) and his 11 yo brother is almost the same.

So, feeding them costs rather a lot.
As do shoes that last a couple of months as best.
Clothes.
Sports.
Days out, cinema, petrol to take them places.
Passport fees for them all! Shock
Food.
Things they 'need' - their definition of 'need' differs wildly from mine Hmm
Food.
Books, toys, iTunes credit (have you even heard of Minecraft yet? Or StampyWotsHisFace??)
Food.

'Tis all good fun though, but yes, not having them would free an awful lot of disposable income.
And that is before we spend £1500 on childcare/month.
Sigh.