...to refuse to go on holiday next year if it's camping again?

[WyrdByrd]

We've been camping every year for about the last 7 years gradually building up to a full week this year.

We don't have a huge holiday budget, so I try to put a cheery face on and have previously ended up enjoying most of it but this year I have just had enough.

Packing/pitching & the reverse is hard work & incredibly stressful as DH is pretty anal about how things are done. He's also over a foot taller than me so trying to erect an 8 man steel framed tent is quite a challenge & invariably causes rows.

Living in the pockets of DH & DD is something I really struggle with. I love them dearly but suffer with anxiety & need my own space to keep it under control. Without that, I get panic attacks which I try to keep under their radar which causes more stressful. I also have misophonia which is absolutely toe curling in a fecking tent!

I don't sleep well at the best of times, and an EMCS plus 3 further abdominal surgeries means I rarely get through the night without needing the loo. I can potter to the bathroom & back half asleep normally,but when a trip to the bathroom requires shoes, jacket, torch, negotiating a double zip tent flap & 200m trek each way that's not possible. At home if I suffer insomnia I'll make myself cosy on the couch & read/watch tv until I nod off - can't do that here as camping chairs aren't so cosy & light in bedroom would wake the others.

I hate only being able to have showers all week. The facilities here are great but it's just not the same...

Finally 'here' is where we've camped for the last three years. It's a great site & location has lovely beaches (which we've managed 3.5 days on out of 17 that we've spent here in total due to weather). We've exhausted the stuff to do otherwise & frankly I'm bored senseless of the place.

DH is not keen on doing anything other than camping because of cost & has already made noises about booking again for next year (he's done it before we've left the last two years, although I'm pretty sure he won't after yesterday's convo).

I get that money's tight but I would rather have a year off going away & do days out next year than 7 nights camping again. Quite happy to consider it the following year in a different location whilst praying our circs change & we don't have to, or do a shorter, more local trip alongside days out next year.

I can't help but feel I'm being UR & selfish. The only alternative that I've found for next year is a cottage which is very reasonable but all the things to do are art/literature/history based which would bore DH rigid.

I think mostly need to vent but if anyone has any solutions they'd be much appreciated.

[trollkonor]

Having said that an 8 man, metal framed tent would have a good resell value. Sell it put the money into a savings account for a future holiday, let husband use some to buy w small tent do he cwn take the kids away for camping weekends ;)

[OrlyIC]

I can recommend pod camping as well. You take most of rhe same stuff but yoi don't have to erect or dis mantle the damn thing and it's absolutely warm and rainproof. The one I went to in Norfolk had beautiful walkways on decking to get tothe loo and I was right next door anyway so night wees weren't an issue. (And I saw deer!) You can also get bigger pods with toilets in them.

Mind you it really sounds like it's not a holiday for you at all. I don't think you should you again and you're certainly not being unreasonable.

[ptumbi]

Love Calvin and Hobbes!

Op - it's a bit worrying that you say 'DP 'pays' for the holiday - but you work! It is family money, surely, not his, that is paying for it? Or does 'your' money go on bills and 'his' on hobbies and holidays?

Have you thought of house-swap? Even if it's just in this country?

[ApprenticeViper]

YADNBU. I would rather, as Peter Kay says, lick my own arsehole than go camping, but if I've read your OP right, you have in the past ended up enjoying most aspects of it, which is fair enough. However, the aspects you haven't enjoyed are fairly major ones!

PPs have given loads of suggestions for compromises; I think the best one being a rural pub with camping pitches and also ensuite rooms, so you can go to a room of your own at bedtime and leave your DH and DD under canvas.

It's your DH's attitude that has got me though - why the bloody hell should you suck it up? Holidays have been done his way for the last 7 years! Good on you for having already set your stall out with regard to next year (I assume that's what you meant by I'm pretty sure he won't after yesterday's convo ) so please stick to your guns and say you want a holiday that suits you.

[Binit]

I don't consider camping to be a holiday. I consider it to be a fuck of a lot of work. Therefore if the choice is camping or no holiday, I will choose no holiday and do a day trip or two to a beach instead.

[Lookingforwardtoholiday]

I'm so with you. I would stay at home rather than camp

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Understand re tight budgets!

Have you calculated exactly how much it costs yoi camping including food and activities?

We found it wasn't such a cheap holiday for us- in UK we ended having more paid activities cos of weather - which we would normally be outside in sun if we were on continent! Was little different doing lastminute AI cheapie!

[Sockmatcher]

How much is your budget? No all houses etc are expensive!

[trollkonor]

The problems with the rural pub sggeztio with campibg pitcex is that itd be expensive! I am guessing that the OP is paying 20 to 30 a night for the entire family for pitch.

One night in a rural pub in the holidays in a holiday destination. 60? At the very very least. So at a conservative minimum we are up to 80 a night. Which is what it cost me last week for 4 of us on a special offer at a 4 star hotel. With pool, breakfast and 3 course meal for every one.

[DarylDixonsDarlin]

and have previously ended up enjoying most of it and I don't always find it so hard as I have done this year. We have a lovely tent & all the bits to make it comfy but the lack of space & sleep and route marches to the loo I really struggle with. I enjoy some aspects of it - we've had some nice days out & I quite enjoy outdoor cooking



that's how, Mutt...where did you read the bit that says she never liked camping? . Sounds to me like OP enjoys it possibly as a short stay option on a good quality, well laid out site, with the correct equipment for her needs - she's not getting that at the moment, hence my suggestion for other sites/different equipment.

My post was nothing but friendly and helpful, not at all sure why you chose to pick on it

[DarylDixonsDarlin]

yes I guess we read things differently according to which side of the fence we are on. I can see we both agree that if its not working for her she would NBU to refuse to camp any more, and her DH should stop being so stubborn and take her needs into consideration.

[chrome100]

Can't you go camping in a new location? Or youth hostelling? We rent a dorm in a hostel which admittedly is a bit more expensive than camping but there are plenty of other rooms to wonder about it, nice grounds, they do a cheap evening meal and breakfast if you don't want to cook.

[susiedaisy]

Yanbu. And you have done well to grit your teeth and get on with it in the past. Holidays aren't compulsory and you can skip a year save the money and have a better holiday the year after.

[MrsJorahMormont]

I agree that getting organised is the secret. Agree your dates now, start researching locations and then book flights the second they are released, then book AirBnb or equivalent well on advance.

[BackforGood]

Of course YANBU to refuse to go.
Personally, I'd have refused to go over each of the last 7 years.
People have offered lots of suggestions, form letting him go with the dc without you, to only going away alternate years but going somewhere that is nice, to collecting Sun Vouchers for a Sun holiday, or staying in a Youth Hostel, to not staying away at all but going out for days.
I don't understand the "he pays for the holiday" bit either - surely if you are a family, then holidays are part of that family money ?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I just sent DD and DH away together for their bonding not washing, no hair brushed, I'm sure teeth take a back seat, junky food experience. They love it. I sit, have long baths and relax.

There's a lot of stuff in there that is odd to me. DH doesn't like culture? You've camped for 7 YEARS, he can suck it up. DH wants holidays to be about family? Well pick something the whole family likes. DH pays for the holidays? WTF? Your job being flexible supports BOTH of you. You're married. Income is family money.

[ThomasRichard]

YANBU. I said this to H last year and after that we did a YHA holiday and a long weekend in various Premier Inns exploring the Peak District. I booked the Premier Inn rooms in their post-Christmas sale so paid £35-ish per night for all 3 of us.

Now I'm a single mum I'm back to taking the DC camping. But in a much better tent, with no BBQs :o

[Twowrongsdontmakearight]

I can sympathise OP. I have really enjoyed camping over the years especially when DC were between about 5 and 11. We had self-inflating mats, never airbeds, and 4 season sleeping bags. EHU with fan heater and electric light and a mini portaloo. However, I too now think enough is enough! Even camping with friends.

However, at the time any flights were still too expensive in school hols. Plus factoring in car hire too.

Alternatives we've tried were Youth Hostels as PPs have said. There's a great one in Ambleside with other kids for your DD to make friends with just like when camping. Another nice one is in Castleton close to a castle and caves etc.

We've also rented a French holiday cottage in Oct half term, definitely the off season for them re canoeing etc but lots of other chateaus etc we're still open. It was in the Loire valley at about £150 for the week. Euro tunnel wasn't too expensive then either. (Assuming there aren't any strikes on). Currently looking at a similar one in Normandy at about £179 for the week.

Also, consider a staycation for next year and try activities in your wider area. Have a look on sites like LivingSocial / KGB deals / Wowcher. They often have heavily discounted tickets to attractions or family overnights at hotels inc tickets to zoos or safari parks etc. These are often for families of three so might suit you. They sometimes have offers to the likes of Haven or Pontins in the school hols. You don't have to join in, maybe use it as a base to explore the area. At least the beds are real and you have your own kitchen and shower room!

[WyrdByrd]

Hi
am reading but there's so much to catch on and we're on the go all day!

Hope to have a proper read & reply from the comfort of my lovely bed at home tomorrow evening.

[WyrdByrd]

Just to quickly answer Mutt & Daryl.

I don't hate all of it, although if money were no issue I wouldn't choose it as a holiday.

I think 7 days is a bit too much for me, would consider a Mon-Fri nearer home & a few days out as a compromise.

The site has everything you could want on it, but after three years is like to try something else. I don't see the point in returning to the same place ad infinitum.

I think a few issues have just collided to make it particularly hard work this year unfortunately.

[shadypines]

YANBU, this is not a holiday for you and camping so depends on the weather even before anything else is considered.

As you say it would be far better to have decent days out and save up for perhaps a different type of holiday for the year after.

One or two years was enough for me, never mind seven. Good luck OP, have a chat with him.