...to refuse to go on holiday next year if it's camping again?

[WyrdByrd]

We've been camping every year for about the last 7 years gradually building up to a full week this year.

We don't have a huge holiday budget, so I try to put a cheery face on and have previously ended up enjoying most of it but this year I have just had enough.

Packing/pitching & the reverse is hard work & incredibly stressful as DH is pretty anal about how things are done. He's also over a foot taller than me so trying to erect an 8 man steel framed tent is quite a challenge & invariably causes rows.

Living in the pockets of DH & DD is something I really struggle with. I love them dearly but suffer with anxiety & need my own space to keep it under control. Without that, I get panic attacks which I try to keep under their radar which causes more stressful. I also have misophonia which is absolutely toe curling in a fecking tent!

I don't sleep well at the best of times, and an EMCS plus 3 further abdominal surgeries means I rarely get through the night without needing the loo. I can potter to the bathroom & back half asleep normally,but when a trip to the bathroom requires shoes, jacket, torch, negotiating a double zip tent flap & 200m trek each way that's not possible. At home if I suffer insomnia I'll make myself cosy on the couch & read/watch tv until I nod off - can't do that here as camping chairs aren't so cosy & light in bedroom would wake the others.

I hate only being able to have showers all week. The facilities here are great but it's just not the same...

Finally 'here' is where we've camped for the last three years. It's a great site & location has lovely beaches (which we've managed 3.5 days on out of 17 that we've spent here in total due to weather). We've exhausted the stuff to do otherwise & frankly I'm bored senseless of the place.

DH is not keen on doing anything other than camping because of cost & has already made noises about booking again for next year (he's done it before we've left the last two years, although I'm pretty sure he won't after yesterday's convo).

I get that money's tight but I would rather have a year off going away & do days out next year than 7 nights camping again. Quite happy to consider it the following year in a different location whilst praying our circs change & we don't have to, or do a shorter, more local trip alongside days out next year.

I can't help but feel I'm being UR & selfish. The only alternative that I've found for next year is a cottage which is very reasonable but all the things to do are art/literature/history based which would bore DH rigid.

I think mostly need to vent but if anyone has any solutions they'd be much appreciated.

YANBU. Camping is vile.

Camping can be awesome and the OP has already said that there are elements she quite enjoys. But it's clear that this particular camping holiday is not working for her.

OP the idea of days out or a cheap weekend away is a good one. Alternatively what about a static caravan? More comfy and less noisy than a tent, good loo access but without the ££££ needed for a cottage

i'd look for a rural pub that does camping and also has rooms. Then your husband can still sleep under canvas for a week and you can use it in the day time/early evening - then you retire to a proper bed and toilet in the pub!

YANBU - we upgraded to a van (we do quite a few festivals) as the whole tent thing just got to much for us. We needed a bit more comfort and ease of set up. I know financially this isn't an option for lots of people though. And does restrict us a bit with visiting places as its too much hassle to unhitch from the awning and make the van drive worthy every day.

We had a lovely camping holiday in italy with Eurocamp a few years ago but the tent was already there with beds in it and the weather was amazing.
We spent one night in a tent last weekend, here in Ireland. friends of ours have a caravan and invited us down. One night was enough for me. It was cold and uncomfortable. I slept very badly and was shattered the next day.

I'm totally on your side. 17 nights you deserve a medal.

If funds are tight, have a look at Youth Hostels.

There are some very swish ones (old country house type) and you can have a private family room with ensuite for near the cost of a Travelodge.

The advantages are that meals in their restaurants are v cheap, you can self cater in their well-equipped kitchens - cheaper still, and they are set up for small children in most tourist areas so toys and outdoor equipment etc.

Really - have a look. I was very pleasantly surprised.

x post Ego

We also have a nighttime wee bucket. I don't have any medical issues that I am aware of but need the toilet 2 or 3 times in the night. I am not leaving a tent to trek out in the dark to the toilet. We have a (very old and quite cheap) caravan now anyway.

The last time I did this, I was in the toilet (little shed on a campsite in Snowdonia) and someone started banging on the door. I shouted that I was in there and the banging continued. I was so fucking terrified I sat there for about 5 minutes not knowing what to do. Eventually I steeled myself to open the door half an inch, prepared to be confronted with a mad axe murderer, only to find the campsite dog jumping up at me .

But seriously OP, you should get your choice of holiday in rotation and if that means you can't afford to go away every year so be it. You could camp one year, holiday in caravan/cottage or abroad* one year, and then no holiday other than a few days off at home in the third year (treat it like a holiday - trips out and no housework, get takeaways and food from M&S/BBQ etc).

• If you book early and get budget flights and owners direct/airbnb accomodation separately, this can be cheaper than a lot of UK options, especially as food is generally cheaper abroad and entertainment can be mostly going to the beach in the reliably sunny weather.

I like camping but have only done 4 nights in a row on a good site with great shower facilities and a portable loo for night time weeks. I love the cooking,love the slower pace of life but don't enjoy the lack of sound proofing at night and don't sleep too well in a tent. Our DC enjoy it and my DH feels the same as me so it's ok for a long weekend really but YANBU to feel fed up after 7 years when it's not comfortable for you. How about a caravan holiday? They are really great these days, more space, privacy and comfort.

It's definitely time for your H to realise that you matter and that you need to enjoy the 'family' holiday as well. Also, does he have this attitude - that because he earns the bulk of the money he's the one in control - to other aspects of your lives?

If your dh wants a family holiday, list the things you need to make it ok for you and ask him to come up with a solution. I personally love holidays at home. A house swap is another brilliant idea up thread. Holidays do not have to be dreaded.

Oh how I feel your pain. We camped every year for six years until two years ago we had the holiday from hell. In the middle of nowhere and the clutch went on the car (fuming doesn't even touch how I felt because DH knew it was on its way out but he figured he'd 'nurse' it ).
It then rained every bloody day and the tent started to leak. No where to hang wet coats etc and no boot of the car to store things because that was in the garage being repaired!
Money is very tight here too so last year, my DB and sil kindly gave me some money to rent a cottage. Bliss!
Have told DH we could buy a caravan and then I'd have a bit of comfort and he could camp next to it with the kids

Just a thought - if budget is really tight, what about saving the vouchers from the newspapers for cheap static caravans? I know people who have done it and if you "upgrade" the set up was reasonable. You'd have to buy a shitty tabloid for a few weeks though

YANBU - IMHO camping is a miserable excuse for a holiday.

I second houseswaps - we did a few through NCT when DS was younger due to tighter finances at the time, and it was a great way to have a break without costing much.

I wouldn't camp ever. I'd rather not have a holiday than camp.

We have done a few of the holidays where you collect the Sun newspaper vouchers. It usually costs around £100 for a week once we've upgraded to a bigger caravan or chalet, added on the entertainment passes, bedding costs etc, but we've always had a good time (pick your site wisely!) and the kids love it. That might be an alternative to camping? You can use them to go to various campsite in Europe too, some of which look amazing!

You have my sympathy, OP! I hate camping too so DH take the kids to local campsite for a night here and there and I get a night to myself! Win-win!

I cant believe your DH demands you go on holidays you don't enjoy year in year out. What man does this?

You say he pays for the camping trip, but it will be with family money, so of course you are paying too.

The whole situation sounds hideous and YANBU to tell him you won't be camping again.

Try a caravan. Should be cheaper than a cottage and has the advantage of a loo!

I would rather eat my own feet than go camping.

Definitely your turn to choose a different holiday, I think! Or if you still like camping, a different site at least. What area of the country are you in OP, we might be able to suggest some really good ones for you? An easier to pitch tent (ours is so simple its unreal) and a night time toileting solution would help, but by the time you buy those things it will bump up the cost considerably. We've just recently been to Crealy in Devon and they had bathrooms with actual baths, electric, water on pitch, near beaches but also direct access to the theme park. You can choose a pitch near the toilets too, I mean very near, we chose one a little further away cos I was worried about smells/people traipsing by, but that wasn't an issue at all.

I'd collect the sun holiday tokens for next year. Some of the sites are nice, I've heard. A friend of mine does it and manages a lovely weekend away once a month for about 9 months of the year . Hope you find a good solution. Its high time your DH paid attention to your wishes on this one, IMO. Is he normally this stubborn? How old are your DC, are they old enough that they could express an opinion on it too? (sorry if I've missed that bit)

I love camping but it doesnt sound like its the the holiday for you. Being physically uncomfortable for a week sounds very shit.

Seeing as you have all the gear .. If you live in easy distance of Kent it may be woth looking at campsites in France, many have great pools on site and at least there will be different things to see.

If you can cope with canvas you could look at the likes of Eurocamp at the end of the summer holidays, the prices can be reasonable. We have paid out less that a normal camping pitch at the same site would have cost. At least you dont have to put up a tent and proper campbeds are provided. My husband takes a self inflating camp mat and puts that on top of the bed for extra comfort. Othr european companies have a slightly different high season to us and ae worth lookng at
Vacansoleil
Venue
Suncamps
Canvas
Roan
Campeole (we got a tent with them that had running water, toilet and shower cost us less than a pitch in cornwall)

If you do decide to go camping again the get something like this and make it your husbands job to empty it. I have no medical issues and its one of my fav bits of equipment.

www.worldofcamping.co.uk/outdoor-revolution-the-big-loo-portable-toilet?nosto=nosto-page-category1