Mumsnet Jury needed

[Didactylos]

DP has just managed to burn the base of our steamer and nearly set the kitchen alight.(3 tier metal steamer on gas hob)
This is apparently my fault
I had prepared all the veg etc in the upper 2 layers and put the whole thing on the hob
I usually fill the base with hot water so had left it empty, and instead filled the kettle and put that on to boil
Said to DP 'could you put the steamer on' in passing when I was off doing another thankless repetitive domestic task
he switches on the gas but doesn't add water/check if there is water in it
(He usually puts cold water in the steamer and lets it boil there)
so we now have a superheated pan and singed veg
and are both totally convinced it is the others fault

We have agreed to abide by the overall opinion on AIBU as to which of us was unreasonable.

ah Tricky one. I think you should have said that he needed to add water. But on the other hand he should have checked first. I am sitting on the fence with this one!

50:50 sorry!!

Brings cushion to joins cashew on fence and passes round the prosecco

Another one with splinters in my arse. 50:50. Kiss and make up and get a takeaway.

50:50.
Id call a truse.

Poor communication. Slightly more your fault for not being clear, but he should have checked. 45% him, 55% you.

Can't really decide but I'll take a prosecco thanks

Dunno, but makes me feel better that I'm not the only one that's done this. Had to buy a whole new steamer and the carrots tasted like shite.

Your fault. Sorry!

Ooh. Prosecco. Don't mind if i do. Cheers!

Yours in my opinion, sorry! You asked him to put the steamer on...he did. If you'd put the other sections on top already then I wouldn't have checked to see if there was water in the bottom.

If I had sent my teenagers and not told them to put water in I would have expected the outcome you describe. My foolproof method is not to put the upper layers on or any lid on any pot until the water is added.

Both, evens.

Your fault. If someone asks you to switch on the steamer you do.

It's no ones fault. It's just one of those things.

No one's 'fault' exactly but my DH is very literal and I have to tell him exact instructions for what needs doing.
So I would have said put water in and turn on.
But he could have checked...

LTB only joking. 50/50. We had a similar thing which sadly resulted in ds with a bloody nose. We had one of those booster seats strapped to a dining chair, dh took it off to clean and sat it back on the chair without doing the straps. I sat ds in it without checking if it was strapped on. Years later we still blame eachother!

Edging towards you should have told him to add water more than he should have checked for it. Sorry.

50:50

Agree with the kiss and make up and get a takeaway idea.

I'd say yours. If someone asks me to put it on I would assume they had done all necessary except the actual switch.
If I was asking I'd say"can you put the water in and switch it on".

I'm wobbling on the fence, but leaning towards falling off on the side that says it's more your fault than his. He followed instructions.

Your dh is an adult I assume? Then he should have checked. Just turning on the gas is a half assed job. I definitely think he is at fault and therefore needs to go pick up the takeaway.

I'd say more your fault but not 100'/.

both to equally blame but if I had to choose I would say you are to blame for the reasons already quoted !

Make mine a double

But doesn't the water need to be boiling before putting the upper levels on to retain vegetable colour and vitamin content? So he should have unstacked and would have noticed no water.

Agree with the consensus. He did as you asked but should've checked there was water.

Both at fault.