Mumsnet Jury needed

[Didactylos]

DP has just managed to burn the base of our steamer and nearly set the kitchen alight.(3 tier metal steamer on gas hob)
This is apparently my fault
I had prepared all the veg etc in the upper 2 layers and put the whole thing on the hob
I usually fill the base with hot water so had left it empty, and instead filled the kettle and put that on to boil
Said to DP 'could you put the steamer on' in passing when I was off doing another thankless repetitive domestic task
he switches on the gas but doesn't add water/check if there is water in it
(He usually puts cold water in the steamer and lets it boil there)
so we now have a superheated pan and singed veg
and are both totally convinced it is the others fault

We have agreed to abide by the overall opinion on AIBU as to which of us was unreasonable.

[LibrariesGaveUsPower]

Since the drip feed, totally his fault (and his method is rubbish ).

[FenellaFellorick]

His fault.

He knows you use hot water. you told him the kettle had just boiled. It is very obvious that that meant the water to put in the steamer is ready, please put it on.

[bigbumtheory]

5o:50- if you'd said that to me and it was assembled then I'd guess you'd put it in and- given your debate before- were just making the point you use boiling water when you said the kettle boiled, not saying 'please disassemble and add water'.

[LionessAtHeart]

Pre drip feed 65%his fault & 35% yours - he should check, you shouldn't have to spell it out but then you know he uses a different method to you, so probably best to mention.

Since drip feed 100% his fault.

[RoganJosh]

Since your drip feed about the kettle, I think definitely his fault.

[Duckdeamon]

I feel that firefighters might say it was the Person who turned on the gas who was responsible - any firefighter MNetters around?

[ProcrastinatorGeneral]

Man was a plank not to check. Always use hot water too. So two points to team Didactylos from the procrastinatory jury.

[Duckdeamon]

The chef is responsible. A good chef would double check.

It would have been better for you to leave the steamer in separate parts so it was clear there was no water in it yet, or told him, but the drip feed post suggests he was being a slack chef!

[Stellafox]

He was in the wrong and it should be boiled water in the pan.

[SquareStarfish]

Since the dripfeed I'm changing my vote to he's wrong.

For what it's worth- my husband boils cold water in the pan too. Never understood why. It just takes about 5 minutes longer.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

No body should either turn a kettle or pan on without checking it has water in it.

Do it's the fault of whoever turned it on

[Didactylos]

no bribes sadly even though I am clearly getting handed my bottom on a platter with all this 'spell out simple instructions' and 'cold water' malarkey

[londonrach]

Personally i prefer bar charts...pie charts arent easy to see..(im dylexic so not sure if that makes a difference)

[wheresthelight]

As for the pie charts they really bug me - can we have a bar chart instead

For pie chart 2 yabu cold water is the correct method

[achieve6]

OP - you asked for a jury therefore we are obliged to play fair.

I may be open to select bribes. Van Cleef & Arpels for example

[londonrach]

Op...is theres a dadsnet...why has no one told me. (Looks around at fellow mntters..)

[Didactylos]

sorry, that was to achieve6!

[Didactylos]

shh, don't tell him!

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

Cold.
Can I just say even though your steaming technique is lacking I admire your dedication to pie charts.

[achieve6]

why does he need to be tried by a jury of his peers, most of us are blaming you aren't we

[Didactylos]

very
sorry about the dripfeed
but DP has now read the OP and says my take on the evening was clearly biased!
he demands to be tried by a jury of his peers so I have given him a choice of Dadsnet or Return of the Kings

I would like to make 2 charts
One saying 'whos fault was it?' and the other detailing which is the correct method, hot or cold?'

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

Still your fault even with the dripfeed . If it's already stacked and on the cooker then I'd assume the water was in it especially if you told me the kettle had just boiled and I knew you boiled the water first. I'd assume you were telling me the kettle had boiled so I knew the water was in . . .although I'd probably wonder why you didn't just turn it on yourself if the kettle was boiled and the water was in and it was sitting on the hob!

[achieve6]

I'm sticking with my reply. He might think you told him the kettle had boiled in case he fancied a cuppa.

[wheresthelight]

My 50:50 had nothing to do with men cannot be expected to know. It was based on the fact that if I was told to put the steamer on I would assume that it is fully prepared and all I need to do is turn the hob on and I am a woman!

Opening another bottle of prosecco as dp has been a thoughtless knob tonight

[MrsTerryPratchett]

If you said, "the kettle's boiled" I'm in Team Didactylos good name BTW.