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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu inviting partner?

13 replies

screenjunkie · 04/08/2015 21:13

Me and a work colleague decided to go out for dinner together straight after work.

About 2 hours left at work and I asked the person I sit next to if they would like to come (we are all friends) and they said they would love to ..... then added that they would have to bring their partner too.

Aibu to find this kind of annoying?

OP posts:
LosingTheWillToSkate · 04/08/2015 21:19

God no. It gets on my nerves when people can't do anything without their partner!

nocabbageinmyeye · 04/08/2015 21:19

Yanbu, i hate this, totally changes the dynamics and puts you in an awkward situation. I had a friend who always did this, we drifted because of it

ImperialBlether · 04/08/2015 21:27

Was the partner picking them up from work and that's why they had to come?

DoJo · 04/08/2015 21:27

It depends - if they had already arranged to meet their partner after work, then I don't really see the problem. If their partner does not like them going out without them, then it's a problem, but not something I would describe as 'annoying' so much as worrying. If they prefer to spend time out of work with their partner, no matter what they are doing, then that's fair enough, but they shouldn't just assume that everybody else shares their enthusiasm and avoid imposing them on others in situations where it could be awkward!

TheHouseOnBellSt · 04/08/2015 21:46

YANBU. My friend has a friend who ALWAYS brings her husband to things. So he;s literally the only man sat with a load of women on a "Women's curry night" or just a few drinks with friends.

It's starting to grate...every time I come to a get together there he is,...sat there like a big twat.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 04/08/2015 21:47

DoJo if their partner was collecting them after work or meeting them then they needed to say "Oh thanks but I'm meeting my partner...I'd love to come next time though."

Because the partner wasn't invited!

NoSOHisadealbreaker · 04/08/2015 21:48

No I don't think you are being unreasonable, BUT......

I get that all three of you and colleagues are friends but can you be absolutely certain that your other colleague was okay with you inviting the person you sit next to along? Did you check first? I think it might weaken your unreasonability quotient if you didn't!

100butterflies · 04/08/2015 21:55

Op you know her, well enough to say that you are friends. Does she ever mention going out without him?

Lavenderice · 04/08/2015 23:54

I hate this too. It drives me absolutely mad when people can't be away from their DP. I used to work in a team where one of the blokes would always bring his wife to nights out and she would be the only partner their. I always felt a bit sorry for him.

Lavenderice · 04/08/2015 23:55

God! Wrong 'there'. That's embarrassing!

wafflyversatile · 04/08/2015 23:59

Does she always bring him?

Yes, it's rude. 'Oh, Bob is coming to meet me for a drink' then you can say 'oh, well never mind', or 'bring him along'

The5DayChicken · 05/08/2015 00:17

It does change the dynamic and is beyond frustrating.

On the assumption that they 'have to' bring their partner because they were already meeting them after work, they should have said 'Sorry but I'm meeting X after work tonight so will have to give it a miss'. That leaves the ball in your court to say either 'you should bring him along' or 'maybe next time'.

BackforGood · 05/08/2015 00:30

Well, YWBU to just accept her changing the dynamic - I'd have just said "Oh, it's just a colleagues thing this time, not partners" if that's what I wanted.
or
Might have met the partner and enjoyed their company.

What I think is unreasonable is to just agree for them to bring their partner if you don't want them there.

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